Saturday, October 31, 2020
I’m so sad today.
This is the first Halloween in the over four decades Gary and I are married that we’re not giving out candy.
You have no idea how much Gary loves to give out candy, he lives for stuff like that.
I’m the one behind the door hissing, “Don’t give out my Almond Joys.”
But this year with the virus and us being old and kids being carriers, it’s just too dangerous, we live in a tiny row house, there’s no safe way to do it without going to a lot of trouble we’re just not up for.
And I already ate most of the candy, anyway.
I’m a hot mess.
We spent most of last night away from the news, listening to vinyl, celebrating Grace Slick’s 81st birthday. We listened to Airplane and then went all sixties Laurel Canyon and it was glorious.
It’s a good thing.
Right before that, right after dinner, I had another panic attack.
I can’t even believe it. I’ve had more panic attacks during this quarantine than I’ve had in the last fifteen years.
In fact, I had zero in the three years between December, 2016 into summer, 2020.
Luckily, this was a mini attack, I got upstairs and away from Gary before he could fuss over me and make it worse, and I managed to regulate my breathing and talk myself out of it.
It was triggered by a tweet I read, linking to a NYT article saying Donald deserved a second term.
I honestly hyperventilated and got sick in the stomach.
I’m so scared.
I’m also depressed and really doing the self pity thing again.
The holidays.
If Donald takes credit for Christmas one more time I’m going to implode.
He took Christmas away this year! Omg, the projection is unbelievable.
Yesterday, that morbidly obese imbecile in the clown makeup and ridiculous yak wig actually said this:
“If you vote for Biden, your kids will not be in school, there will be no graduations, no weddings, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas, and no Fourth of July!”
Hahaha immediately afterwards, Hillary
Clinton replied, “Look around you, Donald.”
I mean, seriously. Donald is so severely mentally ill he always announces his crimes and then projects them on to other people.
I’ve never seen anything like it.
He’s depraved.
I’m terrified there’s going to be trouble no matter who wins.
Businesses are being boarded up all over the country. This is no joke.
You guys know I read everything and I talk to a lot of smart people.
Make sure you are loaded up with food, water, cash and any other essentials by Tuesday.
It’s not just rioting and looting they’re worried about. There could be an attack on our power grids.
I don’t know how I’m getting through the next few days, I really don’t.
Gary keeps reminding me a day at a time.
I know, I know.
Yeah so we’re going for a drive this morning and taking Jake for a run in the park and basically trying to keep me preoccupied and away from the news.
I think that’s an excellent idea.
I have to stay away from the sugar, too, it isn’t helping.
Okay, deep breaths.
Three more days.
We can do this.
Happy Saturday.
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