Saturday, October 17, 2020

Day 217


 Day 217, self quarantine:


Saturday, October 17, 2020

I’m pretty happy it’s the weekend.  I need to just chill by listening to music and watching the birds.

No news.  I just can’t.  I feel murderous every time I see/hear him so I am better off staying away.

Okay, I‘m lying.  I have to talk about it.

I just can’t figure these insane daily rallies out.

I’ve dubbed them Commander Cootie’s Super Spreader Farewell Tour.

So...did he have Covid?  If he did, is he willfully and wantonly spreading it?

Why would he want to infect his supporters?  

Not that I have a problem with that, I hope they all die grotesquely, gasping, “I can’t breathe!”

If he didn’t have Covid, why isn’t he scared he’s going to catch it now?

Gary’s theory is that he’s so deranged, he thinks he’s one of those Evangelical healers who thinks he is omnipotent and can give eyesight to the blind.

I think he’s so deranged he’s hoping the virus will spread like wildfire between now and November 3 and people will be too sick to vote.

Or, there’s theory three, the entire administration is completely incompetent and they’re terrified of deranged Donald so they just let him run wild with any ideas he has.

Donald still thinks it’s 2016 and these rallies are his path to victory.

All of our theories have a common thread. They all start with Donald being deranged.

There’s no getting around it.

And yesterday he did three rallies in three states!  He’s a 74 year old morbidly obese man with a terrible diet who either just had Covid or certainly had something that caused him to be raspy and short of breath...how the hell is he even alive?

I mean, I know he’s a monster but I didn’t know he was the Incredible Hulk!

Gary thinks they shot him up with stuff and he’s gonna crash.

But even I did not guess last night’s development.

“If I lose I may have to leave the country.”

Wait, what?

Where are you going, Donald?

Russia?

Saudi Arabia?

Why do you think you have to leave, Donald?

Did you...did you...do something wrong?

Do you think you and your hideous family may be going to prison?

Ha!  Of course you do.

It’s just a matter of time until we hear from Deutsche Bank, huh.

And your staff.

Welp, at least you shared your plans!

But hey, I’m worried about the White House china! That family is going to abscond with everything not nailed down!

And for Christ sake, take their passports!

Hahaha nah, let ‘em leave and good riddance.

They can take the china, too, we don’t want their cooties.

We’re gonna have to fumigate all of Washington, DC once they’re gone.

Ah...once they’re gone.

Music to my ears.

Which now sounds sooner rather than later!

The next two weeks are gonna be cray cray.

Hey, if it all leads to his resignation, arrest, or humiliating landslide defeat, I am so here for that.

In fact, I am going to start planning a victory dinner.

Hey, I’m gonna start celebrating tonight!  

Hand cut french fries, here I come.

Happy Saturday!

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