Day 165, self quarantine:
Wednesday, August 26, 2020
Woo, it’s only Wednesday?
Not that I’m in a hurry to start vacation or anything.
Much.
I need a break from my thoughts.
Quarantine is fine as long as you don’t let your mind go to all the sad and scary places.
The middle of the night is tough for me. I can’t sleep more than 4-5 hours at a time, so 4:00 a.m. is usually filled with misery and fear and I pretty much always get out of bed to shake it all off.
I know better than this.
As long as you have your health, everything will pass.
But okay, right now I wish I could freeze time.
The days are racing by.
It’s almost eight months since I’ve seen my daughter.
I forget the entrance keypad code to my office.
I never took my spring/summer clothes out of storage this year and have been wearing the same pajamas for six months.
I haven’t worn a bra, real shoes, or a watch since March.
Actually, that’s pretty cool. I want that to last forever.
Haha welp, I just realized I can make that happen.
I’m afraid of November.
We are literally a little over two months away from the possible end of democracy.
I don’t want to get into it, but many laws were broken at the RNC last night, and I guess the rule of law is dead.
Watching Escort Barbie give that ridiculous speech while dressed as a Nazi and her ridiculous racist dementia ridden husband watching her with a smug dirty expression, sitting the way he does like he’s perched on the toilet taking a shit... I just can’t.
Okay, I’ll stop.
I’m having a hard time being present today.
Luckily or unluckily, I have a ton of work to finish before I break for ten days so I’m not going to have time to worry or think about anything else.
After that, yeah, I better throw myself into the upstairs remodeling project fast or I’m going to be doing tele-health with a psychiatrist.
Yesterday Gary climbed on the roof again to clean the gutters like he’s been doing for over forty years.
I can’t even tell you the terror I felt.
And the thoughts going through my head.
George Martin said it best.
“Getting older isn’t for sissies.”
Okay, clearly I need to just breathe.
Peace out, brave people.
