Monday, May 04, 2020

Day 50

Day 50, self quarantine:

Yikes, it really feels like a regular Monday today.  I’ve got the nausea to prove it.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning feeling off.  No virus symptoms, just a typical I ate too much on a Sunday and am paying for it now.

Ugh, I don’t understand why I still overeat when it makes me feel so vomitatious.  I stopped drinking for the most part two years ago for the same reason and never had any problem giving that up.  Why can’t I do the same with fat and sugar?

Oh yeah.  Because I never really liked the taste of alcohol whereas anything chocolate and all things cheese...

I would “call out sick” today but I’m afraid I’ll be tempted to call out all week...and beyond.

Another reason I may feel this way, and I’m kinda appalled at this, is that I blew a gorgeous weekend and stayed indoors.  I just realized I haven’t been outside since last Sunday.

Uh oh, that isn’t good.  Do I have to worry I’m becoming an agoraphobic now on top of everything else?

I can’t get used to walking and wearing a mask.  It makes me insanely claustrophobic. The idea of putting it on and walking more than a block fills me with anxiety.  I know it’s nuts, believe me.  As I sit here writing about it, I better get my sorry ass outside today and nip it in the bud before it becomes a serious problem.

Oy.  It’s always something with me.

This time last year, it was one month until Eric and Natalie’s wedding and we were excitedly doing a daily countdown.  Omg, can you imagine if they had planned their wedding this year instead?

My heart breaks for the couples who did.

Those two lovebirds moved into their new home this weekend.  I think I’m also a little sad we’re so far away and oh yeah, quarantined.  It’s beyond surreal to not be physically a part of such a major life event.

It was fun catching Eric on television last night for the Philly Loves Music event.  He played some exciting new material from his upcoming record.  What a fantastic weekend of music!  Gary and I watched all three days.  It’s a wonderful organization, providing quick micro grants to help musicians currently out of work.

They’re still taking donations here: https://lovefromphilly.live/

What touched us about the music is that everything was done from the heart.  Most were singing with just an acoustic guitar, coming from their childhood bedrooms where I guess a lot of the musicians have opted to return during the pandemic, either by choice or because the money ran out.

Or maybe some never left in the first place. 😎

I think maybe we’re going to see a renaissance period come out of this, especially once the evil is voted out of the White House and Senate in November.

The common thread between all the performers this weekend was that they are using the down time to make art.

So we should all feel good about that.

I know I love seeing all the pics of freshly baked bread...of artwork...of kids doing actual crafts with their parents...on social media.

There’s a part of me that hopes it never ends.

I know it will,  but I hope we remember what we learned during isolation.

For one thing, relax and take your time.  Just breathe. Unless it’s life threatening, nothing has to be immediate.

When did people get so  short of patience?

I think from the minute faxing and emailing came on the scene, everyone expects an instant response.

The problem is, sometimes fifty people at once are expecting that instant response and we’re only human.

I was sitting at my desk Friday morning and within one minute, I got seven emails, two faxes, three notes on our inner office memo system, and my cell phone rang.

Every single one dealt with something I had to respond to immediately.

I did what any well adjusted person does.  I put my head in my hands and shouted, “I can’t fucking do this!”

But of course I did.  Because that’s what you do if you want to keep a job in 2020.

Yikes.  I’m starting to go down a dark path this morning. Okay, enough of that.

I’m going to take my own advice and breathe.

Really not feeling so swell.

Some days are like that, yes they are.