Day 238

 
Day 238, self quarantine:

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Omg am I ever sleeping again?

I know why it’s taking so long.  They are counting every vote so Donald can’t cry “fraud.”

But while we wait, we have new problems.

“The Trump administration in the past 2 days has abruptly dumped the leaders of 3 agencies that oversee the nuclear weapons stockpile, electricity and natural gas regulation, and overseas aid.”

That cannot be good.

Remember, Donald needs money.

Also, the virus is raging out of control, and Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, has it.

Good times, people.

But one cool thing. Rupert Murdoch has turned on Donald.  Fox News and the New York Post are no longer his friends.

“Mr. Trump’s legacy will be diminished greatly if his final act is a bitter refusal to accept a legitimate defeat.”

That’s Rupert in an editorial for the post.

So while I wait for Joe to hit 270 votes, I am glued to the television and alternating between stuffing my face and not being able to eat at all.

Right now I’m hungry.

I’m gonna go have some cookies.

Happy Saturday.

Day 237

Day 237, self quarantine:

Friday, November 6, 2020

And so we wait.

And I have learned that I can not only exist on six hours sleep total this entire week, I can bang out discovery requests while in a coma.

I’m not even joking a little bit.

I don’t know if this means I am a genius or that discovery can be done by worker monkeys.

Whatever.

After basically telling me to take it easy this week because he knows I’m freaking out, my boss is kind of amused that I’ve banged out work all week like a crazy woman.

I even made discovery deadline charts for all of our cases.

We have deadline charts, but I decided to go all Martha Stewart.

Omg, I am so tired.

I stayed up the entire night because I was positive Philadelphia was going to give Biden the numbers to take PA and be President.

I mean, come on, do you think that would mean something to me?

HELL YES.

Welp, hopefully Biden hits the magic number shortly.  We don’t need the lunatic in the White House inciting any more violence.

Trust me, he’s planning on it and the more time he sits and stews unrestrained, the more dangerous he’s going to get.

We had an “incident” here last night, around a mile from my house:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/philadelphia-threat-two-men-arrested-outside-convention-center-vote-counting/

And on that cheery note, I am off to glue myself back to MSNBC and Twitter.

Happy Friday. 

 

Day 236

 

Day 236, self quarantine:

Thursday, November 5, 2020

I’m so sorry, but I am still taking a journal sabbatical because you know I stayed up all night waiting for results.

Once Arizona was back on the table, I started freaking out.

I know, I know, it’s still looking very good for President Joe.

I’m nauseously optimistic.

Happy Thursday.

Day 235

Day 235, self quarantine:

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

There’s no post today.

No matter how this pans out, I’m devastated.  

How is this happening?

 

Day 234

 

Day 234, self quarantine:

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

This is it.

Day 234.  

I like it.

So yes, as you might expect, I’m a complete mess this morning.

I would love to be able to tell you positive, happy peppy Robin woke up today and shouted, “Woo hoo, it’s Christmas Eve! I’m getting a pony!”

Okay, I’ll stop.

We all know there is no such thing as positive, happy, peppy Robin.

The real Robin woke up today wishing she had whiskey in the house so she could have a shot at 5:00 a.m.

Among other things.

Listen, I’ve been an unwilling actor/hostage in Donald’s cheesy reality show for almost four years.

We’re finally at the cliffhanger finale.

I’m a whole new level of terrified.

Up until today, the scariest day in my life was September 11, when I picked my kids up at school and we ran all the way home, thinking it was World War III.

Before that, it was when I was still a young girl and the doctor came out of surgery to tell me my mother had a malignant, inoperable brain tumor.

So yes, I care about my country and yes, I’m scared and I’m crying already this morning.

In other news, my boss is so cool.

Yesterday he called me and said, “I totally understand if you can’t focus and want to put off anything until Wednesday.”

Whew.

Though I think I’m actually better off upstairs in my office and concentrating on work.

We’ll see.

I don’t know what’s going to happen.

One minute at a time.

So do any of you have anything nice planned for yourself later tonight or tomorrow?  

I’ve had my eye on something.  I told myself I am going to gift myself with it if Joe wins.

Conversely, if Donald wins I am going to do something horrible.

Oh, no I’m not, I’m just kidding. But if god forbid he wins, I’m certainly going to be putting my phone down for a few days while I try and figure out our next step and researching what other countries will still have us.

I saw a few memes here yesterday, telling people no matter who wins, they’re still going to wake up happy, go to work, and love everyone.

There’s only one problem with those cheery, little memes.

Thanks to Donald, millions of Americans are out of work, and have no work to go to tomorrow.

Thanks to Donald, 233,000 Americans are dead.  Our friends and family members.

Thanks to Donald, millions of Americans have been quarantined since March and haven’t been able to see or hug the people they love.

So yeah, nice gesture, nice sentiment, those memes, but...

NO.

IT FUCKING MATTERS WHO IS ELECTED PRESIDENT.  LIVES ARE IN THE BALANCE.

Oh my God, how do people not realize this?

I am panic attacking again.

Okay, I need to put my phone down now and watch the Holiday Baking Championship to get out of this head. It’s a two hour show, I taped it last night.

Until we meet again...

Happy Tuesday.

Day 233

Day 233, self quarantine:

Monday, November 2, 2020. 

I’m so scared I’m sick.

I just want to throw up. I can’t even handle a cup of coffee.

My boss wants to go over the case list this morning.  That’s how we plot out what we’re focusing on in November.

I don’t know if that’s good or bad.  Either I’m going to be grateful to lose myself in work or I am not going to be able to process or remember anything he tells me.

I don’t even know if I’m going to be capable of working again.

I can’t breathe.

I don’t know how anyone in this country can be oblivious to what’s on the line.

But as Gary and I remarked a few weeks ago when watching a Dick Cavett show from 1970 with Salvador Dali, Satchel Paige, and Lillian Gish, “Oh my God, listening to this, it’s shocking how much America has devolved in fifty years! Can you imagine this show on in 2020?”

And then a few nights later, we watched another 1969 Cavett show where Garson Kanin was a guest. Kanin was a brilliant writer, married to the actress, Ruth Gordon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garson_Kanin

Kanin discussed a book of short stories he had just written, and how after it was published, he went to a party in Hollywood and everyone there had read it and rushed over to ask if one of the characters was based on them.

Did you read what I just wrote?

People at a party, in Hollywood, were discussing a book of short stories by a great American writer.

Everyone there had read it.

A. book. of. short. stories.

My writer pals reading this know exactly what I’m saying.

Omg, how much we’ve devolved isn’t even a little bit funny.

We’re scarily stupid.

So I have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow, other than unless it’s a resounding defeat, he’s going to fight it.

I don’t want to think about it.

I really don’t feel well.

I’m scared.

Happy Monday.

 

Day 232

 

Day 232, self quarantine:

Sunday, November 1, 2020

We’re now in month eight of quarantine.

The human garbage in the White House did four Nazi rallies in Pennsylvania yesterday.

I can’t even.

And then, when he heard about a convoy of his hideous supporters trying to run the Biden campaign bus off the road in Texas, he tweeted, “I LOVE TEXAS!”

Two more days.

I wish I felt more confident.

I’m fucking terrified.

I’ve learned how stupid and ugly the people in this country are and I know I shouldn’t be shocked but I still am.

How was he not arrested holding four Nazi rallies in PA when we’ve been told stay inside and my kids have been prevented from making music all fucking year?

When we’re being told it’s too dangerous to have Thanksgiving dinner with our families?

When he and his administration have totally abandoned millions of Americans out of work and hungry, and literally thousands of businesses tottering on bankruptcy thanks to zero policy on the pandemic?

And now the rift with Dr. Fauci has blown wide open, as Donald has ditched him and the entire coronavirus task force in favor of Dr. Scott Atlas, a fucking radiologist who appeared on Fox News and caught Donald’s eye.

He believes in sacrificing millions of Americans for herd immunity.

Herd immunity doesn’t work.

Donald is an accomplice to murder.

So that’s it, I can’t do or say anymore but of course I will probably think of something choice between now and Tuesday.

Yesterday was actually a pretty good day.  I had zero candy, and we took a drive, played outdoors with Jake, and finally began a project we’ve been talking about since we finished the backyard - we reorganized all of our vinyl.  

You might think that’s easy but we’ve been collecting for over fifty years.

There’s bins filled with vinyl in every room of this house.

We laughed back in the late eighties when everyone switched to CDs overnight and we happily accepted our friends’ donations when they gleefully purged their own vinyl collections.

It wasn’t until we turned off the news and started playing music 24/7 and I posted the pic of our house the other night that I realized what an unorganized disaster our vinyl had become. 

In fact, I’ve  been tripping over a box of records in Julie’s room since quarantine.

So we’re almost finished, I alphabetized and categorized all day, Gary redid the actual shelves to make sure they could hold the weight of thousands of records, and at midnight last night we were still putting them back.

We’re up to the letter “D.”

If you would see my living room right now you would wonder how I’m sitting here so zen. There’s records everywhere.  

But it’s going to be awesome when it’s done!

Omg, to actually have any record I want to hear easy to find and at my fingertips!

Haha, I know we are not normal and I am way happy about that.

We pretty much decided we’re done with television.

There’s no sports until next year, except for football, and for the first time since we’re together, Gary has completely lost interest.

I was the one who told him the Eagles are playing Dallas tonight.

His response was, “Oh, yeah?”

This time last year we would have planned our weekend around that game.

Crazy, huh.

So Gary is all excited he’s getting an extra hour sleep today and he’s going out for bagels early and then we’re going to finish this project and move on to the next one.

The kitchen.

Oy, I am pretty scared about that one, but Gary has actually gotten a lot better about spending money.

I think he finally realizes what’s the point.

Life is short and we may be stuck indoors for another year.

When we stay busy and it looks nice in here, for just a little while, we can pretend we’re A-okay and everything is fine.

I’m actually thinking of asking for ceramic tile for Christmas, what I want for the backsplash in our kitchen will make Gary have a seizure but this house is tiny.  A tile might cost $30 a square foot but I doubt I have more than ten square feet to cover.

Anyway, I am jumping ahead.  First I have to get him to part with stuff in our overflowing cabinets, like the avocado green and turquoise plastic salad bowl set someone gave us in the early eighties when we owned a boat.

Sigh...our poor kids when we die.

So that’s it for today, I am going to make a fresh pot of coffee and wake Gary for bagels.

Hey, he got an extra hour sleep!

Happy Sunday.

Day 231

Day 231, self quarantine:

Saturday, October 31, 2020

I’m so sad today.

This is the first Halloween in the over four decades Gary and I are married that we’re not giving out candy.

You have no idea how much Gary loves to give out candy, he lives for stuff like that.

I’m the one behind the door hissing, “Don’t give out my Almond Joys.”

But this year with the virus and us being old and kids being carriers, it’s just too dangerous, we live in a tiny row house, there’s no safe way to do it without going to a lot of trouble we’re just not up for.

And I already ate most of the candy, anyway.

I’m a hot mess.

We spent most of last night away from the news, listening to vinyl, celebrating Grace Slick’s 81st birthday. We listened to Airplane and then went all sixties Laurel Canyon and it was glorious.

It’s a good thing.

Right before that, right after dinner, I had another panic attack.

I can’t even believe it. I’ve had more panic attacks during this quarantine than I’ve had in the last fifteen years.

In fact, I had zero in the three years between December, 2016 into summer, 2020.

Luckily, this was a mini attack, I got upstairs and away from Gary before he could fuss over me and make it worse, and I managed to regulate my breathing and talk myself out of it.

It was triggered by a tweet I read, linking to a NYT article saying Donald deserved a second term.

I honestly hyperventilated and got sick in the stomach.

I’m so scared.

I’m also depressed and really doing the self pity thing again.

The holidays.

If Donald takes credit for Christmas one more time I’m going to implode.

He took Christmas away this year!  Omg, the projection is unbelievable.

Yesterday, that morbidly obese imbecile in the clown makeup and ridiculous yak wig actually said this:

“If you vote for Biden, your kids will not be in school, there will be no graduations, no weddings, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas, and no Fourth of July!”

Hahaha immediately afterwards, Hillary
Clinton replied, “Look around you, Donald.”

I mean, seriously.  Donald is so severely mentally ill he always announces his crimes and then projects them on to other people.

I’ve never seen anything like it.

He’s depraved.

I’m terrified there’s going to be trouble no matter who wins.

Businesses are being boarded up all over the country.  This is no joke.

You guys know I read everything and I talk to a lot of smart people.

Make sure you are loaded up with food, water, cash and any other essentials by Tuesday.

It’s not just rioting and looting they’re worried about. There could be an attack on our power grids.

I don’t know how I’m getting through the next few days, I really don’t.

Gary keeps reminding me a day at a time.

I know, I know.

Yeah so we’re going for a drive this morning and taking Jake for a run in the park and basically trying to keep me preoccupied and away from the news.

I think that’s an excellent idea.

I have to stay away from the sugar, too, it isn’t helping.

Okay, deep breaths.

Three more days.

We can do this.

Happy Saturday.
 

Day 230

 

Day 230, self quarantine:

Friday, October 30, 2020

Four more days.

I’m freaking out.

As the coronavirus spreads wildly, Trump continues to deny its existence and mock those who wear masks and quarantine.

Yesterday, when dozens of people passed out at his cootie rally and there was a call for emergency medical attention, he remarked, “Are they friend or foe? Let’s find out if they're friend or foe, and if they're foe, let's take care of those son of a bitches."

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America.

Who votes for a man like this?

How angry, how twisted, how uneducated must you be?

Seriously, what the hell is the reason?

Never mind, we all know what it is.

Fuck you.

You don’t like America, go with Trump on January 20, 2021 and live in North Korea.

I’m not leaving.

You are.

Get back in your ratholes, you hideously ugly, repulsive racists, homophobes, misogynists and antisemites.

Chomp on some worm food.

Your four years in the sun are over.

Happy Friday.

Day 229

 

Day 229, self quarantine:

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Five more days.

I really thought he’d be gone by now.  Every fiber in my body told me he’d be gone.

But I didn’t realize he is Satan.

I should have, but I didn’t.  It wasn’t until his current unchecked cootie super spreader tour across America.

People are dying.

No one stops him.

Every damn day he pulls something else to cheat in this election.

No one stops him.

He’s destroying the United States Post Office.

No one stops him.

“At the behest of Trump campaign official, the Minneapolis police union is recruiting up to 30 former officers to serve as "poll challengers" in "problem" areas across Minneapolis on Election Day.”

This is illegal.

No one stops him.

We have one last chance on Tuesday.

We’ve got to beat him in a landslide or he’s not leaving.

He’ll install himself as dictator and his hideous family will be our new forever government.

Don’t think it won’t happen.

Why?

No one will stop him.

And he knows it.

I mean, if your employee said this, wouldn’t you send him for a mental health evaluation?

"In California, you have a special mask. You cannot under any circumstances take it off. You have to eat through the mask. Right, right, Charlie? It's a very complex mechanism. And they don't realize those germs, they go through it like nothing."

Wut?

Donald said that yesterday at one of his cootie rallies.

He also had a love in yesterday with America’s second biggest asshole/imbecile and Stan Laurel lookalike, Rand Paul.

They both say they’re immune from the virus because they had it and they are rubbing their so called immunity from the virus in the face of America.

They’re insane.

Ew, they make my skin crawl.

Actually, I don’t think Donald had the virus. He had a bad cold and because the news broke that he doesn’t pay taxes and Melania said Fuck Christmas and Fuck the Children, Jared promised him a Superman shirt if he agreed to capitalize on his cold, say it’s the virus, and spend two days in the hospital.

But of course Donald couldn’t even do that right and made the Secret Service take him for a drive to wave at his adoring Nazi supporters.

Oh my god, have you ever seen such physically unattractive people as Donald’s supporters?

The men look Hitleresque but with shaved heads and beer guts, the women are obese with huge breasts hanging to their knees and brassy bleached mullet hairdos from the eighties.

They think they are unstoppable.

Like Donald.

They’re not.

Neither is he.

But we only have one shot.

Vote like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

Happy Thursday.