Day 224

 

Day 224, self quarantine:

Saturday, October 24, 2020

I’m late this morning because I’m sitting in the car outside Main Street Music at 8:00 a.m. because Gary found out it’s Record Store Day and they have social distancing shopping.

Gary is bringing up the back of the line and they don’t even open for an hour.

There goes the Slick Retirement Fund.

I know one thing. After this we’re getting cake.

There’s an insane vegan bakery a couple blocks away.

https://www.crustveganbakery.com/

So let’s get yesterday’s Twitter highlights out of the way:

Kurt Eichenwald: “How, how can anyone vote for this imbecile? Do they not see the mass death, the mass infection, the mass unemployment, the global quarantine? How do they think this is going to end if a man who keeps saying "It's going away" when it's getting worse retains power?”

Dr. Fauci: “Trump has not attended a White House coronavirus task force meeting in several months. They’re not even pretending to give an F. As we reach a quarter million deaths & cases spike.”

Donald last night:  “We’re turning the corner on the virus!”

The actual real, verified news this morning: 

“US tops one-day record with over 80K coronavirus cases, exceeding previous summer high.”

People, I hate to tell you this, but if Trump gets re-elected, we’re all gonna die.

Also Trump yesterday, speaking at one of his cootie spreading rallies IN A FUCKING RETIREMENT COMMUNITY IN FLORIDA...sorry, I can’t calm down, how is this not murder...

TRUMP: "We're not going to have a socialist president — especially any female! We're not going to put up with it!" 

Especially any female.

ESPECIALLY ANY FEMALE.

Excuse me.  I need to go breathe into a paper bag.

Omg, he needs to go today, the hell with next week.

Everyone please meditate on this right now.

So that’s about it today.  We pre-ordered some of the vinyl we’re getting, like the new remastered John Lennon release, BB King with Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix Blues, and our new favorite, Kingfish Ingram.  We have some of these already but not remastered vinyl and we are music nerds so we’re pretty excited about this.  I have Gary on the lookout for the Black Keys and *ducking* Seal.

Ooh, Gary just made it inside.  They’re only letting a couple of shoppers in at a time for 15 minutes.

Omg, Gary in a record store for only 15 minutes.  This is going to be the ultimate Supermarket Sweep!

So one of two things will happen.  He’s either going to get crazed and grab records by the handful and throw them wildly on the counter without calling me to find out if we already have something, or, my prediction, this is too early in the morning for Gary and too much pressure, he’s just coming out with the four records we preordered.

I’ll let you know.

Have a wonderful Saturday!

Day 223

 

Day 223, self quarantine:

Friday, October 23, 2020

Okay, how that imbecile wasn’t led off the debate stage in either a straight jacket or handcuffs is a mystery to me.

He set a new bar for repulsive.

His makeup matched his hideous big red tongue of a tie.

His yak wig looked ready to take flight.

He looked into the camera and lied.

He lied all freaking night.

“We’re turning the corner on coronavirus.”

Turning the corner?

1,170 new coronavirus deaths and 62,751 new cases were reported in the United States on Oct. 21. Over the past week, there have been an average of 60,572 cases per day, an increase of 32 percent from the average two weeks earlier.

Trump: "Children are brought here by coyotes and lots of bad people... We now have as strong of a border as we ever had. We're over 400 miles of brand new wall."

Welker: But how will you reunite these kids with their families, Mr. President?

Trump: "They built cages."

Wut?

Trump: "Nobody has done more for the Black community than Donald Trump. And if you look, with the exception of Abraham Lincoln... nobody has done what I've done."

“Abraham Lincoln here," Joe Biden says, after Trump claimed he's done more for Black people since Lincoln, "is one of the most racist presidents we've had in modern history." 

😂😂😂😂😂

Joe laughed at him, too.  He stood there with a big ass grin all night while Donald huffed and puffed and dripped sweaty orange ooze.

I have to admit, I watched via Twitter with the sound off.  I’ve had all I can take.

I don’t even feel like talking about it now.

So I won’t.  Except how fucking stupid do you have to be to vote for him?

Pretty fucking stupid.

And racist.

And misogynist.

And homophobic.

Ugh, he’s so fucking gross.  His supporters relate to that.

You’ve seen what they look like.

Hey, happy Friday! What’s everyone doing this weekend?

My goal is to get along with Gary 😜

Nah, it’s fine.  We’re just anxious to move on and start a new project at Casa Slick but we’re paralyzed by anxiety at the moment.

Maybe we’ll take a drive and see the autumn leaves.

I wish we could drive to Nashville and Seattle and see the kids.

Sigh.

Ugh, you know what? I’m forcing the writing this morning.  I’m really blue.

I’m going upstairs to work.  I need my brain to go somewhere else.

Happy Friday!

Day 222

Day 222, self quarantine:

Thursday, October 22, 2022

Whoa, that’s a lot of 2s.

Lottery ticket, anyone?

Sigh...that just reminded me of something.

Back before the apocalypse, back when our office staff was 30 as opposed to 15, we had a woman who walked around on Fridays and collected $2.00 from everyone for weekly powerball tickets. Of course I never really believed we would win, but every week it allowed me the fantasy of a victory, especially the weeks the pot was hundreds of millions.

Needless to say, I haven’t bought a lottery ticket since March.  

So now I can’t fantasize about buying three adjoining houses on the beach in another country for Eric, Natalie, Julie, Katie, Gary and me.

At least not via the lottery.  I’ll have to think of another way.

So I am officially an old lady.  Gary had to buy me a pill dispenser with the days of the week on them because I can never remember if I took my blood pressure and cholesterol medication which I kinda need to live and I got sick of having to dump out the bottles and count pills every day.

Haha, too funny, when I used to take Valium I never forgot to take my medicine though admittedly I took more than my daily dosage on purpose.

Bad Robin.

Anyway, I make the point about my old lady pill dispenser because I load it up with two weeks worth of pills at a time and it feels like I’m always filling it up.

It’s always every two weeks.  The days all run together and time has no real meaning in quarantine land.

I still can’t believe my first journal entry, worrying about being stuck with Gary at home for two weeks.

I wish.

Gary got all cranky with me about my phone again yesterday and he made me cry.

“I’m stuck in the house eight months cut off from the world, I haven’t seen Julie in almost a year, I’ve seen Eric once, but at least we can text each other, I go upstairs and work ten hours a day and stay in touch with my boss and coworkers by phone and text, and in two weeks it’s the most important election of my lifetime but sure, I’ll put down my phone so I can be your handmaid in my remaining waking hours.”

He stared at me, mouth open.  I’m not usually argumentative, I go out of my way to avoid confrontation even though my brain may be muttering “you fucking jerkoff” but right now, eight months into quarantine and four years into Donald, I’m exhausted, scared and depressed.

I’m completely frazzled.

And yet...

And yet Gary’s right.

I am obsessed, I tried to avoid the news but I can’t.  I am on Twitter all night and I am incapable of listening or having a conversation with anyone right now.

I can’t put my phone down.  Not until after the election.

It’s that important.

Everything depends on it.

After I finished crying and reminding him he’s still a human smokestack, we talked it out and we will both twelve step ourselves after the election.

No worries, we’re pros at that.

And if Donald wins, I’m deleting my social media, anyway, so I won’t care if I ever go online.

I just want this to be over.  I’ve had enough.

And today the handmaid gets confirmed, even though there’s no stimulus package and we have an election in 12 days with a mentally ill president who was impeached and in my mind has a hand in the deaths of 220,000 Americans.

I hear the Democrats are going to boycott but it will only be a gesture, the Repugnants have the votes.

I have zero desire to watch the debate. The Eagles have a game tonight and even though they suck beyond belief, that’s what will be on our television.

Though cool story, Kristen Welker is the moderator.  We bought our house from Kristen’s mother, Julie, and we remember when she was born. We watched her grow up, they lived in our hood and I think they still do.

I still can’t watch.

I am going to have to be strong.  There’s going to be a lot making me nuts in the next 12 days, that’s a given.

And on that note, I’m going upstairs and start my work day even though the sun hasn’t risen yet and it’s pitch dark in here.

I’m escaping any way I can.

Happy Thursday.

 

Day 221

 Day 221, self quarantine:

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

How is October almost over?  How is it getting dark out at 6:00 p.m.?

Daylight savings time this year began on March 8, 2020.

I’m always so excited that first Sunday we spring forward.

I couldn’t wait for it to be light outside at 5:00 p.m.  The winter seemed to last forever.

Remember January? When we impeached Donald?

Omg, it feels like a hundred years ago.

Anyway, yeah, it was Daylight savings time Sunday, March 8 and five days later, we were locked in our houses.

I thought it would be interesting to revisit my first journal entry.

“Day 1 of self quarantine. Coronavirus makes 

us realize shockingly for the first time we’re 

no longer young, we’re not even middle aged, 

we’re senior citizens. I look over at Gary, 

unable to suppress scary thoughts.

Oy vey. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks.”

Haha a couple of weeks.

And now, almost eight months later, daylight savings time is ending next Saturday.

This is surreal.

I really wish we wouldn’t fall back this year but I’m not in charge.

Too bad.

We’d have a lot more fun.

So this morning’s Facebook memory took me back 11 years ago.

I was touring the world as merch person for the Adrian Belew Power Trio, selling t-shirts and CDs at the shows.

The founders of Pixar Films were huge fans of Adrian and invited us for a personal guided tour of their studio in San Francisco.

And a personal screening of their latest film.

And that’s where the first pitch was made to Adrian to write the soundtrack to one of their films.

Adrian said yes, and that film, Piper, won an Oscar.

Here’s my memory of that day, with the coolest photos ever of day to day operations and our tour at Pixar Films.

http://inherownwrite.blogspot.com/2009/10/slick-famiy-on-tourmore-tales-from-road.html

Yep, I used to have an insanely cool life.

But so did a lot of people.

Now we are all sofa dwellers.

I really can’t spend too much time thinking about it or it brings me to my knees.

The virus is seriously surging in Philadelphia.

https://www.inquirer.com/health/coronavirus/live/coronavirus-covid-cases-philadelphia-pa-nj-de-updates-testing-news-20201019.html

Last night, that oozing orange turd came to Pennsylvania and bellowed, “Tell your governor to open up your state!”

He’s “bored” of the virus.

In the last week,  the virus has surged in 20 states.

And he’s still dancing.

He didn’t look real happy after he stormed out of his 60 Minutes interview yesterday.

I guess we’ll find out why but who really cares?  His initial tweet about it is typically insane and senseless.

“I am pleased to inform you that, for the sake of accuracy in reporting, I am considering posting my interview with Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes, PRIOR TO AIRTIME! This will be done so that everybody can get a glimpse of what a FAKE and BIASED interview is all about... ...Everyone should compare this terrible Electoral Intrusion with the recent interviews of Sleepy Joe Biden!”

Oy.

He’s completely irrational.  How can anyone look at that sullen, bloated face with the dead eyes, streaked with orange clown makeup and a pouffy yak wig glued to his ridiculous big head, and think to themselves, “He’s presidential.”

There was a lot more of his evil yesterday.

“BREAKING: Lawyers say they can't find the parents of 545 migrant children separated by the Trump administration.”

“NEW: President Trump's tax records reveal a previously unknown bank account he has in China, where he's spent a decade pursuing business deals.”

Omg, and Donald actually said last night it will be “boring” if we elect Joe.

Yes!  Please give us boring!  I want to be bored!

13 more days.

He sounds and looks terrible.  Look at this pic of him after he prematurely ejaculated I mean ended his 60 Minute interview.

But hey, Ivanka told us yesterday on Twitter she has learned to play guitar during quarantine.

Wut?

I completely lost it.

I never tweet back to her but I did yesterday.

“The guitar?  Omg, take your grotesque hands off that beautiful instrument via which my family used to earn a living pre-pandemic, you hideous ogress!”

Not the best tweet grammar wise but I was in a blind rage.

Though I am pretty proud of “hideous ogress.”

It has a nice ring to it and if you say it to yourself every time you see one of her video clips, trust me, you’ll feel much better.

Try it.

So that’s my thoughts for today.

I’m going to get more coffee and stick more pins in my Donald voodoo doll.

I’m gonna try to aim better for a major artery.

If you still support him, burn in hell.

Happy Wednesday!

Day 220

 

Day 220, self quarantine:

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Okay, who goes on a Zoom call and thinks about masturbating?

“UPDATE: Jeffrey Toobin was caught masturbating on a Zoom call, which was part of an election simulation. 

Toobin told Motherboard: “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera.”

Toobin is an attorney and legal analyst for CNN.

Omg, I go on Zoom and worry about my Room Rater score and my double chin.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Rhetorical question.

So that’s the first piece of news I saw yesterday.

I was really busy and didn’t get to take a good look until after work.

I have to admit, as bad as the Toobin Zoom headline was, it was still a hell of a lot better than Donald news.

"People are pandemic'd-out. You know that? They're pandemic'd-out. That's why it's so great what your governor has done. He's opened up your state ... by the way, you get it ... I'm here. And now I'm immune. I can jump into this audience and kiss every man and woman" 

Okay, what the hell does that even mean?

Don’t ask me, I don’t speak imbecile.

“People are tired of hearing Fauci and all these idiots, these people, these people that have gotten it wrong. Fauci is a nice guy, he’s been here for 500 years, he called every one of them wrong,” Trump told campaign staffers.

Omg, he’s so mentally ill.

And for the love of god, why is he still dancing?

He’s on serious drugs, isn’t he.

“I've fact checked Trump for more than four years. He has rarely before, if ever, had a period as comprehensively dishonest as this period right now.” Daniel Dale.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/19/politics/fact-check-trump-dishonest-weekend-florida-michigan-georgia-wisconsin/index.html

Yep, Caligula is off the rails.

14 more days, or sooner.

Maybe sooner.

In much better news, I got a text yesterday from Eric who was in a garden shop and saw Gary Santa Claus and omg, every time I look at it I start laughing.

I should buy it, shouldn’t I.

It looks so much like him I’m freaking out.

Okay, sold.

I’ll have the holidays here somehow this year, even if it’s using mannequins.

See?  Now I gave myself something to look forward to.

A holiday table with seated mannequins sounds like an episode out of Alfred Hitchcock presents.

“Mother, would you like some mince pie?”

Oy, okay, I’ll stop.

Happy Tuesday.

Day 219

 Day 219, self quarantine:

Monday, October 19, 2020

Please watch this video.  It’s only one minute long.

https://youtu.be/SW86jyTsYe4

I saw it for the first time during yesterday’s Eagles game.  It brought me to my knees.

I’m gratified I’m not the only one.  It was just released and it already has hundreds of thousands of views.

"The next 6 to 12 weeks are going to be the darkest of the entire pandemic. Vaccines will not become available in any meaningful way until early to third quarter of next year." -- Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research, on Meet the Press.

Dr. Fauci is telling us to forget about the holidays but honestly, we already knew that.

I’m in the acceptance phase.  Whatever happens, happens.

I’m not really but I have no other choice.

Gary and I are quarantined and will probably be quarantined through 2022.  I’ve made that clear to everyone.

It’s unbelievable to me that now in the eighth month, the United States has no plan.

We’re international laughingstocks.

But at least Gary and I are doing our part.

So how ridiculous is this whole phony Hunter Biden scam being pushed by Donald, Rudy, and all around respectable citizen I mean white supremacist Steve Bannon?  I can’t even.

And now it turns out even the byline on the story is fake.

And they won’t let it go.  I guess it’s their last shot.

Though I’m still not ruling out a war with Iran.

 

Or someone else.

15 more days, people.

In better news, at least for me, Gary’s dinner last night was amazing.  I wish you could all have been here.

Okay, no I don’t.  But I do wish you could have tasted it.

That apple dumpling. ❤️❤️❤️

Anyway, that’s basically it, I’m not feeling real chatty this morning.  I have a ton of work, my boss told me “this is discovery week” which is not even one half as good as it sounds, in fact, answering and propounding discovery are my least favorite paralegal duties and yes, I’m going to have my heart in my mouth for the next two weeks and my stomach is rocking and rolling right now and not in a good way.

Ugh, this is so not how I planned on spending my golden years. 

Who did?

Happy Monday.

Day 218

 Day 218, self quarantine:

Sunday, October 18, 2020

I kept my promise to myself and spent most of yesterday listening to music.

We have an extensive collection of vinyl, CDs, cassettes and yep, eight tracks which span over fifty years.  Gary even has his original Beatle 45s in their original sleeves, in pristine condition.

We have records I didn’t know we have.

Yesterday we listened to a record Al Kooper made in one weekend with 15 year old Shuggie Otis in 1969 and I kinda freaked out because I swear I never heard it before.

Honestly, how did I miss this record?

His Wikipedia is the best.  Read this slowly.  It’s awesome.

“Otis began playing guitar when he was two years old and performing professionally with his father's band at the age of eleven, often disguising himself with dark glasses and a false mustache so that he could play with his father's band in after-hours clubs.”

Omg, why am I seeing Bart Simpson?

So I’m looking at the album cover and the drummer is a young handsome guy I never heard of.

“Wells Kelly,” I told Gary.  “You ever hear of him?”

“No,” said Gary.

“He must be dead,” I replied.

I googled him.

“Wells Kelly was best-known to rock music fans as the drummer in the pop-rock group Orleans, whose hits included "Dance With Me" and "Still the One." He was with the band from 1973 until 1976, later moving to keyboards. He re-joined the band in 1978 and 1979 before leaving again. He also played with Clarence Clemons before joining Meat Loaf's band.

Wells died in London on Oct. 28, 1984 while on tour with Meat Loaf after a night of partying with friends. He collapsed and died on the front step of a London apartment, apparently from asphyxiation. He was reportedly last seen drinking with Huey Lewis.”

Welp, that explains why else we never heard of him.  

We weren’t exactly fond of his bandmates, either. Yikes.  

Though we did like Clarence.

We also got the new Tom Petty posthumous release and it is EVERYTHING.  We listened to all six sides of vinyl all the way through and there isn’t a bad cut on it.

I can’t recommend it enough.

So the 24/7 music plan is working out though I got alarming news alerts throughout the day about the virus.

“Pennsylvania reported the 2nd-most coronavirus cases per day since April, days after officials warned of a fall resurgence of the virus.”

Not good.

And the buffoon continues to dance.

Omg, 217,000 Americans are dead and that morbidly obese fool wearing clown makeup and a ridiculous yak wig is dancing.

And then last night, he announced to his loathsome, mostly unmasked crowd, "I said, first lady, am I the most handsome president ever? 'Yes, absolutely.' I said, who can top me? She said, 'well, JFK was good looking, but nothing like you. Nothing like you, darling.'"

Uh, sure Donald.  On what planet would that be?

It’s like bizarro Snow White.  Donald somehow got his tiny hideous hands on the evil queen’s magic mirror. 

And again, he’s addressing Americans who have lost loved ones and their livelihoods in a pandemic.  

But what do I know, they’re there in his cootie filled stadium voluntarily.  I guess they just don’t care.

Today looks to be another beautiful fall day.  In episode 218 of I have the best quarantine partner, Gary is making from scratch minestrone for dinner with baked apples wrapped in pastry smothered in vanilla sauce for dessert.

I know, it sounds terrible.

16 more days, people.

Chins up, we’re gonna get through this.

Happy Sunday!

Day 217

 Day 217, self quarantine:

Saturday, October 17, 2020

I’m pretty happy it’s the weekend.  I need to just chill by listening to music and watching the birds.

No news.  I just can’t.  I feel murderous every time I see/hear him so I am better off staying away.

Okay, I‘m lying.  I have to talk about it.

I just can’t figure these insane daily rallies out.

I’ve dubbed them Commander Cootie’s Super Spreader Farewell Tour.

So...did he have Covid?  If he did, is he willfully and wantonly spreading it?

Why would he want to infect his supporters?  

Not that I have a problem with that, I hope they all die grotesquely, gasping, “I can’t breathe!”

If he didn’t have Covid, why isn’t he scared he’s going to catch it now?

Gary’s theory is that he’s so deranged, he thinks he’s one of those Evangelical healers who thinks he is omnipotent and can give eyesight to the blind.

I think he’s so deranged he’s hoping the virus will spread like wildfire between now and November 3 and people will be too sick to vote.

Or, there’s theory three, the entire administration is completely incompetent and they’re terrified of deranged Donald so they just let him run wild with any ideas he has.

Donald still thinks it’s 2016 and these rallies are his path to victory.

All of our theories have a common thread. They all start with Donald being deranged.

There’s no getting around it.

And yesterday he did three rallies in three states!  He’s a 74 year old morbidly obese man with a terrible diet who either just had Covid or certainly had something that caused him to be raspy and short of breath...how the hell is he even alive?

I mean, I know he’s a monster but I didn’t know he was the Incredible Hulk!

Gary thinks they shot him up with stuff and he’s gonna crash.

But even I did not guess last night’s development.

“If I lose I may have to leave the country.”

Wait, what?

Where are you going, Donald?

Russia?

Saudi Arabia?

Why do you think you have to leave, Donald?

Did you...did you...do something wrong?

Do you think you and your hideous family may be going to prison?

Ha!  Of course you do.

It’s just a matter of time until we hear from Deutsche Bank, huh.

And your staff.

Welp, at least you shared your plans!

But hey, I’m worried about the White House china! That family is going to abscond with everything not nailed down!

And for Christ sake, take their passports!

Hahaha nah, let ‘em leave and good riddance.

They can take the china, too, we don’t want their cooties.

We’re gonna have to fumigate all of Washington, DC once they’re gone.

Ah...once they’re gone.

Music to my ears.

Which now sounds sooner rather than later!

The next two weeks are gonna be cray cray.

Hey, if it all leads to his resignation, arrest, or humiliating landslide defeat, I am so here for that.

In fact, I am going to start planning a victory dinner.

Hey, I’m gonna start celebrating tonight!  

Hand cut french fries, here I come.

Happy Saturday!