So usually my blogposts are simply Facebook cross posts since I expect to eventually get kicked off of social media due to my I hate Donald and his evangelical Christian politics but today this is exclusive content here. Why? Because I’m also bored of Facebook and don’t feel like dealing with all the comments. Also because no one reads this blog anymore and I want to write something I don’t want anyone to see, meaning the kids, though it is kinda funny and of course I will tell them but they’re both going on tour next week and I don’t want to freak them out.
But first, if they were still alive, today would have been my parents’ 70th anniversary. Mind blowing, huh. I literally have only ten or so photos total of my family, and this is the only one I have of my mother and father together.
The only one still alive in this photograph is my brother on the front row, he looks around 14 here.
That’s my mom and dad right behind him. Next to my father is my first cousin, Rosalie. She died in 1980 at age 30 from Hodgkins Disease a few years after this pic was taken.
Behind her is my first cousin Robbie. He died at age 48 in 2000 from a heart attack.
Next to Robbie is his mom, my mother’s sister, my Aunt Shirley. She’s the only woman in this photo who lived into her late eighties, dying of Parkinsons disease around 7-8 years ago.
I’m thinking this picture is from right before my mother got sick…she’s still got some weight on her and I am pretty sure that’s her real hair. But oh, she must have been diagnosed with the brain tumor right after this photo was taken and a year later, gone.
Anyway, just recording this for posterity.
On to me and my latest holy fuck moment.
A couple of months ago, I noticed this weird thing happening only when I got into bed at night. When I crawled in putting pressure on my right knee, it felt like I had a tiny shard of glass in my knee. It’s the craziest thing. My knee doesn’t hurt, even if I press on it, but when I put that whole pressure of my body on it kneeling, it feels like I have a splinter.
I even got out a magnifying glass and flashlight to see if I had a piece of glass there but nope.
I told Gary about it after a few weeks of having to get into bed a different way but we were high and we both bent over double laughing about my hypochondria.
But then, honest to god, my big toe on that same foot started hurting and omg, blew up to twice the size of my other big toe.
Again, I told Gary, and because the two of us are total children, we laughed and laughed.
Listen, we’re married 50 years. Gary knows I am a hypochondriac and it really was funny.
Until the pain in my knee and toe woke me in the middle of the night and in a haze of sleep thought OH MY GOD WHAT IF MY WONKY HEART THREW A BLOOD CLOT AND IT’S IN MY LEG AND I’M GONNA HAVE A STROKE AND OR DIE.
So I got out of bed and hobbled downstairs in the middle of the night and sweating in terror, and googled “Why does it feel like there’s g…”
Before I could type the word, Google finished it for me.
“…glass in my knee”
I was like OH MY GOD, IT’S A THING?
Yes, apparently. Along with the second symptom, a swollen big toe.
And the words CALL YOUR DOCTOR!
Fuckkkkkkkk.
So what these symptoms mean is that my kidneys are producing too much uremic acid. The glass in my knee is actually a crystal my kidneys are producing in this condition and said crystal is lodged in my knee.
The reason for too much uremic acid?
Could be diet.
Leading bad foods? Red meat, alcohol, fructose syrup, and too much dairy.
Welp, I don’t do the first three items at all. Dairy, yes, but only 2-3 times a week.
Anything else?
Why yes. Leading cause is taking statins to lower your cholesterol.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
Long story short, I have gout. Gout is actually “bony arthritis.”
Here’s the hilarious part. I got terrified when I first got diagnosis because I get so scared at the doctor I got confused and thought gout was goiter and I thought I was going to grow a second head out of my neck like a circus freak. 🤦♀️
Anyway, I am fine. I’m cutting my dairy yet again and taking another new daily medication. That makes six. Yay me.
Haha so glad no one but me still reads this unless I link it somewhere. If you stumble on it, please don’t tell me 😂
