Day 209

 Day 209, self quarantine:

Friday, October 9, 2020

John Lennon would have been eighty today.

I can’t wrap my brain around that.

I’ve outlived him by decades.

Those of you who grew up with the Beatles might understand but John Lennon was my “influencer.”  Gary’s, too.

We didn’t believe in politics or religion but John Lennon was the closest thing either one of us had to a hero.

We were John and Yoko as teenagers, inseparable and walking hand in hand, protesting the war in Viet Nam and marching for equal rights for everyone.

The Imagine album came out our first year of college.

“Love is Real” is engraved in our wedding rings.

His music still sounds fresh and relevant over fifty years later.

We learned of John’s death from Howard Cosell while laying in bed watching Monday Night Football.

https://youtu.be/mdJcoJUT12M

We thought we heard wrong.

It couldn’t be true.

Gary put on our local rock radio station. Surely they would tell us this was a hoax.

They were playing John Lennon music.

We looked at each other in horror.

John’s death was a turning point.

Ronald Reagan was inaugurated one month later.

You know the rest.

And now we have a psychopath in the White House, a man so deranged the Speaker of the House is forced to hold a press conference this morning regarding his fitness for office just 25 days before the election.

Damn do I wish John was alive today to deal with Donald.

“Shut up, man” would be the nicest thing he said.

Seriously, Donald’s twitter feed should be required reading this morning.

Maybe then you would understand why I am screaming for his removal.

You may have heard about the white supremacists arrested yesterday following a plot to violently kidnap the Governor of Michigan and try her for treason.

They were inspired by Donald’s “Liberate Michigan!” tweet.

Donald, whose only re-election platform is LAW AND ORDER, had this response following the arrest:

“Governor Whitmer of Michigan has done a terrible job. She locked down her state for everyone, except her husband’s boating activities. The Federal Government provided tremendous help to the Great People of Michigan. My Justice Department and Federal Law Enforcement announced ...today that they foiled a dangerous plot against the Governor of Michigan. Rather than say thank you, she calls me a White Supremacist—while Biden and Democrats refuse to condemn Antifa, Anarchists, Looters and Mobs that burn down Democrat run cities ...I do not tolerate ANY extreme violence. Defending ALL Americans, even those who oppose and attack me, is what I will always do as your President! Governor Whitmer—open up your state, open up your schools, and open up your churches!“

Okay, anyone think that’s a normal response for the President of the United States following an arrest related to a plot to kidnap a governor?

Can you imagine if members of Black Lives Matter were arrested in a plot to kidnap the governor of, say, Florida?

Oh my lord...Walmart would run out of guns and ammo.

So there’s another Exhibit A-Z as to why I hate this president and he must not be re-elected.

He’s severely mentally ill and if you heard a snippet of his Hannity telephone call last night, he’s not physically well, either.  

He’s hoarse, coughing, and full of phlegm. 

He’s not on the ballot November 3.

You heard it here first.

In other news, I’m really happy it’s the weekend.  Both days are revolving around food.  Gary bought a couple baskets of end of summer tomatoes and he’s going to roast them all up, make his incredible sauce, and jar it all up for the winter months.

Then, inspired by winter veggies he purchased yesterday at our corner farmers market, he’s making roasted vegetable fried rice.

I adore retired Gary.

He’s so fucking happy all the time.

I’m next!

Though I gotta tell you, except for the shock and pain of missing my kids all year and Donald pooping all over the White House, I’m pretty fucking happy already.

And I’ll be even happier in a few weeks when the squatter in the sweaty streaked clown makeup and pouffy yak wig is gone.

Happy Friday!

Day 208

Day 208, self quarantine:

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Kamala slayed Pence last night and a fly came to rest on his remains.

CottonTop literally stood there on stage decomposing and the fly knew.

Pence is every bit as creepy as Trump, huh. 

Yikes.

But ew, doesn’t Pence look just like the Heavens Gate dude?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven%27s_Gate_(religious_group)

Okay, it’s too early to go there today.  They both make me incredibly nauseous.

Maybe later.

So we have this insane squirrel family in our back yard.

We have Steve, who is now Fat Steve, because Gary overfed him all summer, and Steve’s brother, who Gary named Dougie because he used to sponsor two brothers Dougie and Steve, who are alas no longer with us.

Those two plant themselves in the bird feeders and stuff their cute little cheeks all day.

But they have two hilarious babies who we call the Jenkins kids, who race around the yard tripping over each other and knocking down plants and our yard gnomes like they both just ate a giant bag of M&Ms.

So.  Why do we call them that?

When our kids were little, they were friends with a brother and sister, also Irish twins like Julie and Eric, and their same ages.

Their mom watched their sugar intake and only let them eat healthy fruit and vegetable snacks, unlike me, who considered candy/chocolate its own food group and let my kids eat everything.

Naturally, the Jenkins kids used to love coming over to Casa Slick for play dates.

While here, they would dart in and out of the kitchen, and I wouldn’t even see them do it, but they would their line their pockets with forbidden treats.

Every time I would check on them, they were eating something. 

And when they weren’t eating, they raced through the house like loons, darting in and out of closets, shrieking, running and leaping.

So yeah, we have the squirrel equivalent now to remind us of our former lives as parents.

Fat Steve, Dougie, and the Jenkins kids.

I guess they’ll be joining the cardinal family - Lou, Georgette, Li’l Julie and Li’l Ricky as our only holiday guests this year.

Thanksgiving is next month, people.

How is it possible Gary and I are going from our best Thanksgiving ever, 2019, when our whole family was together, to now.

Gary won’t let me talk about it because we live one day at a time but I know what’s coming.

The holidays alone.

I guess the good news is, we’ve already experienced Thanksgiving alone in 2017 and I never really talked about it but it was the only time in recent history Gary made a dinner that flopped so to say it was an awful experience is putting it mildly.  We ended up eating a bowl of Cheerios for Thanksgiving.

(I got the idea that year to have lasagna for dinner and we bought no cook noodles.  Pro tip:  You need to cook them.)

Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think so.  The pandemic is still raging and every single expert is saying it will be even worse in the coming months so I think I’m just being realistic.

I think I need to accept 2020 is a lost year.

But in a way, it hasn’t been.

As horrifying as this year has been, it’s brought unexpected gifts.

The birds and squirrels, and a whole new appreciation of nature.

The gifts of patience and acceptance, which have eluded me my entire life.

There’s a lot more, actually, but I’m thinking it deserves its own post.

As does the vegan mushroom stroganoff Gary made for dinner last night.  Oh my fucking God, the sauce was made from white wine, coconut milk, fresh sage and thyme, and balsamic vinegar.

Maybe we’ll have that for Thanksgiving.  At least I’ll have dinner to look forward to.

Oh okay I’ll stop.

It’s all good, by Thanksgiving the election will be over and we’ll be rid of the squatter in the White House.

Oh wow does it feel good to type that.

Anyway, that’s enough out of me this morning. I need to get in gear to be Robin Slick, paralegal.

Happy Thursday.

 

Day 207

 

Day 207, self quarantine:

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Yikes, 2020, you took Eddie Van Halen, too?

Okay, I’ve had enough.

Though okay, I can take one more. 😜

BREAKING: President Trump effectively kills any chance at a new coronavirus relief package ahead of the presidential election, saying that he won't agree to a deal until "after I win."

Okay, I’m not really sure why he’d commit political suicide like that.

Last night, when he sent out 43 deranged tweets in an hour, I was sure he was having that steroid crash everyone is predicting.

But then, one of his last tweets included a whole bunch of tags spelled correctly, everyone from Mark Meadows to Nancy Pelosi.

Donald can’t do that.

His doctor announced he has no symptoms, yet plans for a live speech/appearance were scrapped in favor of another video, but that never surfaced, either.

For all we know he’s unconscious.

Which would be preferable.

All I know is this.

The President of the United States refused to pass a stimulus bill for millions of Americans out of work unless we vote for him.

Excuse me?  On what planet is this okay?

Even knowing what I know, my entire family out of work all year, this tweet from Maggie Vail broke me yesterday.

“No stimulus basically means the entire music industry is fucked. Say goodbye to every venue you love. Every musician you love that isn't independently wealthy, all their crew, everyone that records those beautiful records, all the independent record stores, the small labels are all in jeopardy.”

Omg I just started to cry again re-reading it now.

HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING?

Oh, I haven’t even brought up the handmaid, Judge Taint, who might be the super spreader, whose nomination is being rammed through instead of a stimulus package.

She will forever be Judge Taint.  Her nomination is surrounded by TAINT.

While Americans suffer and wait in long lines for food.

I can’t today.

I just can’t.

Happy Wednesday.

Day 206

Day 206, self quarantine:

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Okay.  It’s not a hoax. He has the virus and he’s sick.

You saw that insane video.  He stood on that balcony like bizarro Mussolini, ripped off that mask, he was sweaty and wearing an inch of bright orange streaked crazy man makeup, and he was clearly gasping for air.

His ridiculous doctor gave it away by refusing to confirm his lung condition or whether or not he has Covid pneumonia.

So yeah, he has it.

What is his family thinking?

Do they hate him that much?

Apparently there’s some argument to that effect.  There’s an article in Vanity Fair yesterday which says Jared and Ivanka are all in favor of Donald’s bizarre behavior or at the very least, have no plans to stop him, where for once Junior is appalled and thinks Dad is “acting crazy.”

Whatever.

Medical experts on Twitter are screaming Trump is on serious steroids and he’s going to crash in a big way.

I think mentally, he’s well on his way.

That “don’t worry” about Covid speech coming from someone with a private helicopter and access to the best doctors and medical treatment in the world was batshit crazy and in my mind, criminal.

I mean, there’s some people who actually listen to him.

Welp, we can be sure of one thing.  It’s going to be another day of breaking news.

Yay.

I can’t help but think of something I said a few months ago when George Floyd’s last words were, “I can’t breathe.”

Mother Nature, she works hand in hand with karma.

You’ll see.

So what else.

Haha I got nothing.

I’m seriously glad I don’t have a television in my home office and our office remote system is so wonky I get booted if I try and access something over the internet while I work so I really am able to isolate myself from all this insanity during the day.

Besides, my ace reporter husband is glued to MSNBC downstairs so he will alert me about any return trips to Walter Reed etc.

What a way to live.  

Are four years of hell really coming to an end in 28 days?

Or even sooner?

Did any of us guess a possible twist ending like this one?

I mean, how much time and money, how many countries involved in his re-election...and possibly all for nothing.

Woo, that’s even too heavy for me at 5:00 a.m.

I’m gonna throw open the doors and enjoy my birds.

Happy Tuesday.

Day 205

Day 205, self quarantine:

Monday, October 5, 2020

So that pathetic morbidly obese old man with the tiny hands took a joyride

and endangered six secret servicemen, just so he could wave to a crowd of WHITE SUPREMACISTS.

Dr. James Phillips attending physician, Walter Reed Hospital:

“That Presidential SUV is not only bulletproof, but hermetically sealed against chemical attack. The risk of COVID19 transmission inside is as high as it gets outside of medical procedures. The irresponsibility is astounding. My thoughts are with the Secret Service forced to play.”

Because when did Donald ever think of anyone but himself?

And then, after the deaths of 213,000 Americans, he gives us a video where he says he’s “learning about the virus and he’s gonna tell us all about it!”

He actually said, “Now that I have it, I understand it now.”

Wut?  Where has this mentally ill deranged imbecile been for the past seven months?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Has he not seen the refrigerator trucks turned into morgues?

Has he not seen the miles and miles of cars filled with anguished families waiting in line for free food because thirty million Americans are out of work?

Oh my fucking God. Yesterday this human garbage came right out and told us HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING.

But ooh ooh the White House gift shop is already selling a coin “Trump Defeats Covid!”

https://www.whitehousegiftshop.com/product-p/trump-defeats-covid.htm

Oh, really?

Maybe because he never had it?

What he did have last week, though:

1.  $750 in federal taxes and confirmation he’s broke;

2.  The worst debate loss in Presidential history;

3.  A classless escort wife caught on tape saying fuck the children, fuck Christmas;

4.  Staff unmasked and spreading the virus everywhere;

5.  A campaign manager arrested for spousal abuse and more;

6.  The lowest approval rating of any president and terrible polling which indicates he’s going to lose in a humiliating landslide and take the entire republican party with him.

I probably forgot about ten more things.

Ohhhh...the handmaid judge.

The one they’re trying to push through before they address a Covid relief bill to assist 30 million Americans out of work.

So who knows with that lying liar.

Does he even have the virus?

No, he doesn’t.

This is a con.

Though before his driveby stunt, I thought the opposite and he was at death’s door.

Oh, who cares.

Fuck him.  Fuck him hard.

All I care is that he’s not on the ballot on November 3.  Smear some butter on that hideous face, he is toast.

TOAST.

I just actually read a long article which says the Republicans are hoping now that the virus is behind us, they hope we’ll all focus on the wonderful handmaid judge and their approval ratings will soar but if not, oh well, the handmaid is here to take away your medical insurance and freedom of choice.

Not quite, you irrelevant out of touch scumbag codgers.

And now we have to fight harder than ever to keep her out.

And all of you.

So I really have nothing else to say today, I have a ton of work and I need to focus.

I’ll be back if there’s breaking news.

Happy Monday!

Day 204

Day 204, self quarantine:

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Morning!

So I’m not going to talk about Donald today because we all know he’s got the ‘rona and he’s in the hospital except to say...

CAN THIS FREAKING WHITE HOUSE TELL US THE TRUTH ABOUT ANYTHING?

I mean Jesus effing Christ, even if you support this man, doesn’t all the lying bother you?

Is he fine and recovering or is he “about to go through some things”?

I actually want him to recover.

But as Chris Rock said last night on SNL... I want him to recover in six weeks.

I really do.

So he can go to prison.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

If you didn’t see SNL last night, omg, here’s the cold open.

https://youtu.be/Wsije1KetVw

Okay, Jim Carrey was great as President Joe but I had a real problem with the content.  Joe did not lose his train of thought throughout the debate and I think Jim’s portrayal kind of played into the Trump campaign’s ugly inaccurate portrayal.

Just sayin’

But it was still laugh out loud funny.

Okay, on to other things.

I want this bench.

The old me would have ordered it already.

The new me has to discuss it with Gary first.

Gah!

It will go great with the new rug.

I’m thinking we can put it kinda off to the side in front of the back door so we have a better, more comfy bird watching spot for taking photos.

At least that’s how I’m gonna sell it to Gary, I actually have a few different ideas where to put it.

I know I said I would stop buying stuff but this is from an artist and it’s been difficult being stuck in the same surroundings for seven months.

I know it’s no replacement for seeing my kids, believe me.

So we have nothing planned for today other than watching football (Gary) and washing hair (me).  

Salad for dinner because Gary brought home a huge bag of Halloween candy from Aldi yesterday and I ate half of it last night.

Hey, it was stress eating.  I’m worried about Donald!

Not.

Not even a little.

Okay, time to start practicing my speech to Gary outlining the reasons we need this bench.

Have an awesome Sunday!

Day 203

Day 203, self quarantine:

Saturday, October 3, 2020

31 more days.

I’m sorry, but I will not wish for his recovery.

Just the opposite.

This is all his fault, and maybe for the first time in his wretched life, he’s going to be held accountable

for his sins.

His election had terrible, terrible consequences. Hundreds of thousands of people are dead, millions unemployed, families torn from each other’s arms, and I am supposed to care about this 74 year old morbidly obese narcissist who refused to wear a mask or social distance?

I don’t think so.

Justice Ginsburg just argued her first case before God.

She won.

In other news, I saw this article yesterday and it really hit home.

One out of every four women have either downshifted or quit/retired since the pandemic.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/09/30/1-in-4-women-are-thinking-about-altering-their-careers-due-to-covid-19.html

It says women are really taking it hard.

Ya think?

See paragraphs above.

Death and destruction will do that to people.

I’ve already had my talk with my boss. 

And now I’m just trying to breathe and stay sane until this national nightmare is over.

As are most of us.

At least those of us who are intelligent and sane and have taken the time to educate ourselves somewhere other than Fox “news.”

So Gary and I don’t have any plans today other than watching our birds.

The blue jay stops by every morning between 8-9.  He always shrieks like a whacked out seagull and goes right for the picnic table bird feeder.  He stays there squawking for about 2-3 minutes and then takes off.

They might have bad reputations but blue jays are freaking gorgeous.

It’s funny, the cardinals, and it appears we now have a couple of families, don’t eat out of any of our feeders.   The squirrels however love them, and they drop birdseed all over the ground because they’re slobs.  The cardinals eat what they dropped.

And what they don’t eat, the squirrels are burying for winter. Gary and I sit on the sofa watching their whole routine.

It’s fascinating.

Gary and I were talking yesterday about our yard.  When I first got the idea to make a garden in the beginning weeks of quarantine, I was panicking that we would be stuck in the house for weeks har har and it would be our tiny “vacation “ oasis.

I had visions of gorgeous outdoor furniture from CB2 and Gary and I out there watching sunrise and sunsets like we do when we’re on vacation at the beach.

I had dreams of Gary happily puttering with flowers and veggies while Jake and I sat out there in the sunlight.

Ha!

What our yard has become is our own personal nature center.

We sit on the sofa staring out the screen door waiting to see who visits.

Gary is out there six times a day filling the feeders.

The animals call to him.  I can’t even describe it.  If you know Gary, you know.

When Gary takes Jake for a walk to any dog park, dogs stop what they’re doing and rush to him.

Julie knows.  We were talking about it the other day.

“Dad IS a dog, mom.”

“I know.”

We mean that in the best possible way.

Oh, but one cool thing happened!  After declaring our three tomato plants pretty but “sterile and unable to bear fruit,” yesterday, October freaking  2nd, Gary came running in the house shouting, “Rob, Rob, look at this!”

We have one, gorgeous perfect tomato.

How cool is that?

I don’t want to ever eat it, just take its picture.

Gary’s like, are you nuts, of course we’re going to eat it.

Okay!

So that’s it for today, I overslept and didn’t wake up until 6:00 and now I need to straighten up and watch the Great British Baking Show, which always leaves me wanting copious amounts of cake.

Oh, Gary, are you awake yet...

Haha as if.

I’ll be ready for lunch by then.

Happy Saturday!

Day 202

Day 202, self quarantine:

Friday, October 2, 2020

Hey, Friday.

I wonder what insanity awaits us today.

Other than Donald and Melania having Covid-19, of course.

That karma, she’s a bitch.

Welp, Donald did warn us of an October surprise.

I’m gonna add a few more pins to my voodoo doll just to make sure this, erm, sticks.

Woo, these final days leading to the election are kind of like the bizarro twelve days of Christmas.

32 days of ChristLess.

Or 32 days of ChristMissed.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it.

It works on a few levels. 😜

So I don’t even want to go there today, meaning the news, but for a few hours last night...holy hell.

Since I know a lot of this won’t make local news, here’s a quick recap.

First we were hit with the Melania tapes on CNN, courtesy of her former assistant.

Melania is not nice. Don’t be like Melania.

Kids separated at the border?

@FLOTUS: “Give me a fucking break.”

What’s even funnier is that she said the same thing about “fucking” Christmas.

“Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decoration? But I have to do it.” - First Lady Melania Trump

Welp, Donald did say because of him, Christmas was back in the news.

And then we got the Hope Hicks has Covid news.   Hope has symptoms, too.  And oh yeah, she just flew on Air Force One with Donald.

By the way, my very first thought other than will Donald get the virus was will Donald have to 

quarantine but that question has been answered so yeah.

That’s one way to get out of a debate, huh.

I’m not the only one who’s suspicious.

“The guy who's never honest re drug addiction, stroke, height, weight, hair, sudden visits to Walter Reed, etc. is all of a sudden transparent w/ his alleged COVID? 

Is this a 2020 version of bone spurs? Is Trump faking COVID to avoid narcissistic injury of losing the election?”

That’s a quote from Dr. Jack Brown.

https://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com/

Then we heard about the Unfortunate Son’s harlot and campaign whatever, Kimberly, who apparently did not leave Fox voluntarily but rather was fired as a result of a sexual harassment suit by an assistant forced to look at her naked and give her thigh massages while looking at dick pics.

Oh my God, I can’t write fiction like this.

And then we learned that recently demoted Trump Campaign Manager Brad Parscale, under psychiatric evaluation for either beating his wife or threatening to kill himself or alcohol abuse or all three, is despondent because he’s under federal investigation for campaign fund violations.

And according to Vanity Fair Magazine, the Trump family is very nervous he’s going to talk.

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2020/09/trumpworld-panics-over-debate-fiasco-as-campaign-turmoil-mounts

So basically this all happened between 8:00-11:00 last night.

I moaned to Gary, “Omg, can we have one day...just one day of peace without ridiculous, revolting breaking Trump news?”

I am so fucking sick of being held captive in this damn reality show.

When I see Donald refer to President Biden as Sleepy Joe, it means something nice to me, like a good cup of tea and warm clean pajamas right out of the dryer.

Omg I want Sleepy Joe.

I don’t want 24/7breaking news.

I want art and music and food news.

I want my family!

Sigh...

Okay, all we have to do is get through the next couple of months.

Deep breaths.  We can do this.

But seriously.  I’m supposed to work today and be able to concentrate and give two fucks about paralegal world?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Happy Friday.