I got nothing today.
I’m seriously so busy at work this week that I haven’t had time to think about much else for the last 24 hours.
But I’m watching the news now about the virus and still can’t fucking believe there isn’t a federal mandate to wear masks because we have a morbidly obese hideous imbecile in orange makeup and a yak wig who’s afraid he won’t look handsome.
Instead he canceled visas.
I just can’t.
I just want him and his supporters to burn in whatever hell they believe in for eternity.
It’s going to happen.
So as you know, except for a heart in my mouth trip to Lowe’s, I haven’t been out and about since March 13.
Gary asked me over the weekend, “Do you think it’s safe to go to Target?”
God, no.
“Why?”
“I need shorts, lighters, summer pajama pants, blah blah blah.”
“Can’t I order you stuff online?”
Of course I knew the answer to that but I asked anyway.
So he went to the Target in Northern Liberties which is huge for downtown and usually pretty empty early in the morning.
He came back white as a ghost with a four pack of Bic lighters.
“You should have seen it, Rob. It was like a scene out of Mad Max.”
“What do you mean?”
“The store was empty. Other than food, there was nothing on the shelves. I tried to buy sweat pants, they had two sizes, xxlarge and small. Same thing in shorts. Then I walked over to see if they had a couple of flower pots for the yard and that whole section was empty. I thought you said that Target wasn’t looted!”
It wasn’t.
I looked at Target Northern Liberty’s website. It showed a fully stocked store, with men’s pajamas in every size. Just for the hell of it, I clicked on them. It said they’d be ready to pick up in four hours.
I tried the same thing with flower pots.
Yep.
Gary was having none of that.
“I was just there. The store is empty.”
Suddenly I had the light bulb moment.
“Do you think that because of the virus, stores like Target aren’t putting out their stock on purpose because they want you to order on line?”
Gary stared at me. This is his worst nightmare.
“Why?”
“Well, maybe they’re short staffed. Or maybe for health reasons they don’t want virus infected customers trying on clothes and touching everything.”
Because that was my big worry, too.
And yeah, that’s exactly what it turned out to be.
I don’t know if things will change when we move to the green stage next week or if this is just a downtown Philadelphia thing but Gary was shaken all day.
“What’s going to happen at Christmas?” he asked me, still wide eyed.
“People will order online.”
It cracks me up that he has no concept of this. I’ve been ordering his gifts online for the past twenty years.
“We’re moving to Canada.”
“Canadians shop online, too, Gary.”
Poor Gary. When his fifteen year old flip phone finally dies, his whole world is going to be rocked.
Anyhoo...
That’s enough out of me today. I’m heading upstairs early to finish some projects.
Behave yourselves today.
Or not. 😎
