July 22, 2023

Life can be amazing.

I’ve been pretty bummed lately, and it’s been a struggle to stay in the present. Missing my kids so much I feel sick is a real thing. 

Plus, I was pretty sure Jack Smith would be coming for Donald (again) last week and it was an incredible letdown when nothing happened.

But but but…

Once again we were woken up by blue jays…I talked Gary into doing stuff around here and not only did he happily oblige, I went off cleaning on my own and found $50 in an old handbag. I couldn’t believe it.

So I went downstairs to tell Gary, but he was outside repotting some plants so I checked my phone and all of a sudden I got a text out of nowhere from Eric, WHO WILL NOT ONLY BE HERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY BUT FOR THANKSGIVING, TOO AND NOT ONLY THAT, WE’RE GOING TO THANKSGIVING JAM AT JON AND PETERS IN NEW HOPE AFTER DINNER.

The last time our family went to the Thanksgiving jam at Jon and Peters was in 2019. That’s the video I posted above. I don’t have to tell you what happened next. 

It’s also the last time we were all together on a holiday.

Please don’t tell me to calm down. I am so fucking happy I will even be patient for Donald’s arrest but omg, if it happens next week I may faint from joy.

But see? This is why we must live in the present. I’ve spent the last few weeks miserable for no fucking reason.

One of these days I’ll grow up. I promise.

July 19, 2023

I’m sitting in the car with Jasper in the pouring rain while Gary runs into the regular supermarket for some stuff we can’t get at Trader Joe and the farmers market.

You know, the boring stuff like water and toilet paper.

Tomorrow we’re heading for the beach.  It’s like I need to go every few days now to replenish my soul and Gary feels the same way.

I’m having second thoughts about my novel. Meaning, maybe I should publish it through Amazon or Draft2Digital. I have a friend who just sold her book to an indie publisher and publication date is September, 2025.

I don’t even know if I will be alive in 2025. I never realized how many women die at age 70. And I already take five pills a day for heart failure and high blood pressure.

So I guess I will hang in there for a bit. Right now the first three chapters are with two agents and one independent publisher, and two independent publishers have the entire manuscript. I won’t query anywhere else yet and I’ll just try to enjoy the rest of my summer. I have a great vacation in Woodstock in a couple weeks and then when we come home I will be back at the beach for my birthday. I found an Italian restaurant with a porch nearby so who knows, maybe we will have dinner there and get a hotel room for the night. Like I said, how many more birthdays do I have?

Gary will be 70 in November. I’m not sure what to do about that. It’s right at Thanksgiving but I know better than to ask the kids…I won’t be able to bear the disappointment so I guess I will take a wait and see attitude with that, too.

See? This is why you can’t live in the future. It makes you miserable. I’m actually having an okay day, even if I am typing this in a supermarket parking lot in the pouring rain.

You know I am having a better day than Donald Trump 😂

 

July 18, 2023

 

Today is a great day. The ugly orange turd was put on notice he’s about to be indicted. President Joe says Hey! Enjoy your summer! Okay, that’s my plan, Joe. I’m heading to the beach. Lemme know when he’s in prison.

July 17, 2023

This morning we woke up to blue jays and cardinals in our backyard.

I’m going to take this as a sign.

Donald will be indicted (again) this week.

I will hear something fabulous about my new novel, even if it’s because I decide to send it to a friend who will tell me she loves if even if she doesn’t.

The weather will be amazing on Thursday which is my preferred day for the beach.

Okay, I made just three wishes because I don’t want to be greedy but come on, someone please throw me a bone. Right now I am biting my lip and sending happy comments to Julie in Ireland and I have vowed to be gracious and not bring up my birthday ever again.  

Hey, if I stop celebrating my birthday, maybe it means I will stop aging.

It’s a thought.

As long as it doesn’t mean I’m dead 😎.

July 16, 2023

 

Yesterday, Gary and I actually got cleaned up and left the house to go somewhere other than the beach—we went to LaScala Fire in NJ to celebrate the engagement of my cousin Danny to his beautiful girlfriend, Ally.

It was incredibly enjoyable. Good food and good people.

Of course everyone asked us about our kids and what they were up to and we went into our usual proud parents routine—Eric just came back from a six week European tour and Julie is currently vacationing in Paris and Ireland.

What I didn’t say was how much I miss them and the ache I feel that they’re not with me at this party.

I am so sad but I guess that comes with getting older.

Today is another day and I will be happy.

We have a fun week planned…more time at the beach, some work around the house which we’re actually doing regularly now like normal people, and a trip to the Italian Market to get some goodies and catch up with an old friend who has a record and book store there. Good food, records, books and the beach? Yeah, life could be worse, I guess.

I just wish I could get over how hurt I feel about all the missed special occasions and my birthday. But I’m working on it 😎

Realistically, I’m also really upset that they haven’t arrested Donald and his fellow insurrectionists in Congress and the Senate. So that’s really adding to my depression, too. I fucking hate Trump supporters, Republicans, and evangelicals. They’re all batshit crazy.

July 14, 2023

One thing I address in my new novel is that while we have no control over bad things that happen to us or people who hurt us, what’s important to remember is, we have 100% control over how we react to adversity.

I could let how sad I am ruin my summer, or I can just say fuck you to everyone and everything and live in the moment with Gary and Jasper.

So on Wednesday, we went to the beach and honestly, I am wondering more and more why we just don’t sell our house and move there…there being a one story ranch house in Somers Point, NJ where dog beach is and still surprisingly affordable.

The kids moved away to places we don’t want to be, why should we stay here just because it’s convenient for them to see us once a year when they play Philadelphia?

I have a vague plan starting to form…we’ll be back at the beach next week…

So yeah, we had an amazing day at the beach followed by incredible Manco pizza with a salad by Gary.

All of my depression was gone and I had a big ass smile on my face.

Until…

Julie had mentioned that while she wouldn’t be here for my birthday, maybe she would take a red eye flight and get here at dawn on the Friday before we left for camp on Monday. So I said to myself at the beach, okay, I will settle for celebrating my birthday two weeks early and that Friday we’ll all go to dog beach and have donuts and pizza…

Except Thursday I woke up to a text from Julie that she booked her flight for Sunday morning, one day before camp, a day impossible to go to the beach.

And right after I read her text and started crying before I even had coffee, I got an email with my first rejection from an independent publisher for Leaving Candyland although it was a strangely kind rejection, telling me they enjoyed it but it wasn’t for them.

To be honest, I knew it wasn’t for them (they are very young) when I sent it to them and looked at their catalog but you gotta not think about stuff like that when you query because you just never know for sure.

But needless to say, all the great energy I had on Wednesday completely fizzled yesterday.

Today, however, is another day and I have a choice. I can be miserable again or I can look at Gary and Jasper, the two beings I love more than anything in the world, and be happy.

I choose happiness.

And I am also choosing to look seriously at real estate listings in Somers Point. 😎

July 11, 2023

 Have I mentioned how much I love that I’m not posting personal stuff on Facebook anymore and am actually feeling better physically now that I’m back here?

Anyway, funny story.  As everyone who knows me is aware, I have a real problem with organized religion and am an agnostic at best. 

But I do believe in the idea of a higher power and mine has one hell of a sense of humor.

Yesterday, while stalking my my mail waiting for responses for my queries for my new novel (as if), I got the idea to check my horoscope. I haven’t checked in a few months because (1) I’m not really a strong believer in horoscopes and (2) mine keeps warning me about my health and money which is enough to actually make me sick.

Anyway, yesterday I had a look at how the month of July will be for us Leos:

“You are on an extraordinary trajectory toward major career success, and you have every opportunity to put your name in lights on the big marquee. It does not matter what industry you work in—a big heavy door that you assumed would always be locked is opening for you.”

https://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/leo-horoscope-for-july-2023/

Hey, it gave me hope for an hour or so but then I remembered that my higher power does shit like this to me all the time and what now, I’m gonna believe in horoscopes and not god?

That’s insane even for me. 😎

But it was funny.

July 10, 2023

So I got the above Facebook memory today.  How in holy hell is my trip to Seattle two years ago already? It feels like last month.

Yeah, if there’s any drawback to retirement, it’s that time is going too fast. Honestly, when I worked, every Monday felt like it was a month long. I didn’t start to relax until Thursday. And forget about Sunday, it was wasted on me, I spent the whole agonizing day worrying about work. Through fifty years of working, even when I loved my job.

Now, time is whizzing by. Every day is Friday and it’s fantastic. Except for the getting older part and the knowledge that these happy days aren’t going to last forever.

I’ll be grateful for ten more years but I’m not real optimistic that will happen.

Anyway, in other news, here’s the query for my new book.

I’m thinking I can make it stronger but I’m really trying for less is more.

“Leaving Candyland is a bittersweet, comic novel about a baby boomer couple who have different ideas on how to spend their retirement. Joey, a former executive chef, is deeply attached to their home and its memories and is happy watching Matlock reruns on television all day while Linda, an artist, is anxious to join their celebrity chef daughter, Jazz, three thousand miles across the country in Seattle to begin an all new and exciting second chapter in their lives. When Jazz—who may or not be romantically involved with aging Food Television star and self proclaimed pasta king Chaz Chipolata—enlists Joey to help with a new business venture, Linda imagines it as an opportunity to get Joey to see things her way. But when Joey returns from Seattle with a whole new outlook, it’s Linda who now inexplicably clings to the past. 

Humorous and melancholy, Leaving Candyland takes a lighthearted look at a serious topic—the inevitable change and loss that come with aging—and reveals that life doesn’t necessarily end at retirement.”

I am not sure if this will entice an agent or not but I guess I will find out. It’s funny, I had such a great time writing this book because I wrote it with the idea I would self publish and therefore, I had zero rules to follow which really freed me up. See yesterday’s comments about Michael Strahan. But what happened was, I think it produced my best writing because it’s totally from the heart.

Anyway…at least it gives me something to obsess over other than missing my kids so much my heart actually hurts.

At least I hope that’s why it hurts.

July 9, 2023

Happy Sunday! Do I know how to break the fast or what?  That’s some serious organic black cherry jam.

There’s a family of blue jays in our garden and we’re watching the mom feed the kids while the dad hovers above and screams like a crow to keep away other animals.

Nature, man. It’s amazing. Speaking of amazing:

 

Yeah, animals are everything.

So in my new book, the heroine has what she calls an “old lady crush” on Michael Strahan. One night she smokes a joint or three and gets so wasted she goes online and applies to be a contestant on $100,000 Pyramid so she can meet him.

This may or may not be a true story. 😎

July 8, 2023

 I’m in so many places these days I’ve created a link tree here: https://linktr.ee/robinslick

I’ve also got accounts at Post, Mastodon and Spoutible but so far they haven’t interested me. I’ll add links if that changes.

While I’m still stalking my email regarding queries I sent, I decided to start my next book. Because why the hell not.

In other news, I can’t believe I fucked up my doctor appointment. I thought it was 8/3, it’s 8/8. Except I’ll be in Woodstock. Next available appointment is 9/14 so I took it.  Hopefully I won’t die before that 😂

Meh, I’m okay. I’m just depressed. I’m working on that and hopefully other stuff happens to make me smile in the meantime. My dog makes me smile every day so there’s that.