Sunday, July 26, 2020

Day 134


Day 134, self quarantine:

Sunday, July 26, 2020

So yesterday afternoon I was sitting on the sofa, playing with my phone while Gary was upstairs getting dressed when all of a sudden, I felt unbelievably sick.

Ugh, I know it makes no sense because I am in freaking quarantine, but because I am me, in the ten minutes Gary left me alone, I somehow managed to convince myself I had coronavirus.

Naturally I started panicking.

Poor Gary.  He walked upstairs and left a happy, kinda normal person on the couch and came downstairs to psycho woman dripping in sweat and doubled over.

I guess the only strange part about this story is that it took four months to happen.

Have I mentioned I’m a raging hypochondriac?

I was just going over the benefits of quarantine in my brain the other day.  I regularly get  four head colds a year, with every season.  Gary, who worked in a huge, warehouse type place with 80 employees, used to bring me home every virus out there.

But yeah, since the two of us are quarantined, we’ve both been in perfect health.

I immediately thought I gave myself a kinehora.


The day had started out awesome. We were both pretty chill and excited about dinner.

One of my weird quarantine habits, either because I have too much time on my hands or I’m now officially an old person since this is what old people do, is to google people, places and things from my past.

I even google places I know aren’t there any more, somehow hoping I was wrong or they were somehow resurrected.

I have no idea why I’m doing this, but anyway, Gary brought up a restaurant we ate at regularly when we were first married, which was Philadelphia’s first Asian fusion restaurant (long out of business)and I got obsessed with the idea of having a similar meal for dinner last night.

All of a sudden, I remembered a great fusion restaurant we used to order takeout from a couple times a month when the kids lived home.

So it’s been well over ten years, maybe fifteen, since we ate there.

I googled them, not expecting to get lucky, but yes!  They were not only still in business, they just relocated to the site of another nearby restaurant we used to eat at all the time when the kids were little.

I have no idea why we stopped going there, either, other than we probably got sick of it.

Haha, you should have seen the rabbit hole I went down when Google maps showed me the restaurant and street - south 20th and Spruce, which is home to several cool shops and restaurants.  A lot of those places were around in my teens through my forties...now, all new but still “mom and pop” which is pretty crazy for downtown Philadelphia.

Anyway, once I told Gary about the restaurant, I literally spent an hour pouring over the menu picking out our order.

We were both unreasonably excited.

And now virus girl was messing up everything.

“Do you need to go to the hospital?” Gary asked, alarmed.

“God no.  I’ll die at home.”

No worries, Gary is used to me.

“What do you think this is?  We ate the same exact thing unless you’re hiding food again.”

“No, I ate a bowl of Cheerios with some almond milk around three hours ago.  That’s all I had.  Can you make me some tea?  I think I am having an anxiety attack.  Omg, why am I this sick?”

I gotta tell you, every hypochondriac should have a Gary.  He springs into immediate emergency room physician chef mode.

“What kind of tea do you want?”

“The kind that stops panic attacks,” I gasped, as another wave of nausea swept over me.

“You want the Kava Stress Relief?”

Omg, how many types of anxiety relief tea do we have?  Just make me a fucking cup so I can unclench my jaw.

“Yessss,” I said instead.

How the fuck did I get the virus?  Omg, I had to go to the post office for work on Monday.  Did I get in from someone standing in line?

Omg, I’m the one who sent Gary to Danny’s Guitar Shop on Wednesday.  Did he bring it home to me?

I wrapped myself in a blanket, shivering.

Gary walked in with my tea.

“What happened?  You were fine a few minutes ago.”

“I don’t know.  I was sitting here reading and all of a sudden I had a searing low back pain and I got nauseous beyond belief...”

I was literally dripping sweat.  Fuck, maybe this was a heart attack AND the virus.

“Sounds like a kidney stone to me,” said Dr. Gary.

Oh.  Oh, right.

How could I forget?

Especially since I have been plagued with them since age 21.

To make a long story short, once I realized it was neither a coronary or coronavirus, I made a miraculous recovery but I still felt nauseous and had no more appetite for Asian fusion food.

Gary made me his famous vegetarian chicken soup.

I swear, it’s Jewish penicillin on steroids.  I felt better after one spoonful.

So that was my day yesterday.

I still don’t feel 100% this morning but if you’ve ever suffered an anxiety attack, this is typical.  You get a hangover like effect for a day or two afterward.

I’m glad Gary made a big pot of his magic soup.

I’m actually going to take a page from Gary’s playbook and get off my heiny and do some housework now.   It really is best to stay active physically when your brain is too active emotionally.

Live long and prosper, comrades.


Saturday, July 25, 2020

Day 133


Day 133, self quarantine:

Saturday, July 25, 2020

Wow, July is almost over. We’re about to enter month five of quarantine.

I still can’t believe how radically everything has changed in so short a period of time.

I’ve talked about the changes in Gary but they’re still pretty astounding to me.

The man who wouldn’t watch the news or discuss political anything is now a news junkie who is constantly interrupting me with breaking news I read six hours ago on Twitter.

I really need to get that man an iPhone and you know what?  I just realized it’s the pre-quarantine Gary who didn’t want a phone. Apocalypse Gary is gonna fucking love one.  I am so doing it.

Oh my poor kids when he learns how to text for the first time..they think I’m a pain in the ass...😂😂😂

So in our new geek life, we watch Jeopardy every night at 7:00 and at 7:30, we watch the Daily Show we taped from the previous night because we can’t stay up until 11:00 to watch it “live.”

But last night at 7:00 was opening night for the Phillies.

Pre-apocalypse, sports obsessed Gary would watch sumo wrestling over any non-sports television.

At 7:00 p.m., we settled in front of the tv with Friday night pizza.  I grabbed the remote and put on the Phillies.

“What are you doing?” Jeez, he shouted at me so loud I jumped and almost dropped my plate.

“Huh?”

“Put Jeopardy back on!  We’re not going to watch Jeopardy?”

I stared at him, my jaw pretty much on the floor.

“Jeopardy is a rerun,” I said, still completely in shock.

“Yeah, but I never saw it and this is a classic from the archives!”

Wut?  I could see him being excited by a classic Jeopardy from the archives...IF HE EVER WATCHED IT but...😂😂😂😂😂😂

Anyway, I was more than happy to watch Jeopardy.

And The Daily Show after that.

After which we watched Palm Springs together, which Gary absolutely loved, marking the first time we watched a movie together that wasn’t about music since Something About Mary in 1998.

I’m not even lying.

So here comes another huge shift in our relationship.  Gary loves movies.

Omg, where do I even begin with that?

You realize our quarantine can now last for the next thirty years and we’re never gonna run out of something to do.

So that’s pretty interesting.

Oh, we did tune in to the end of the Phillies game.  They lost.  

Gary shrugged and put on the news.

I still can’t believe it.

Naturally I’ve been thinking about my own changes, too.

I admit to starting quarantine in March like it was an adventure and an unexpected two week paid vacation from work.

When it looked like I had to work remotely from home for a couple more weeks, I went from being happy to horrified. I struggled getting even a simple letter done.  I missed my office.

Within a few more weeks, I got used to it, and as news of the virus worsened, I started writing that it would be unacceptable to return to work until Memorial Day.

And then it was okay, now I don’t see how I can go back until July 4.

We all know where I’m at now.

It’s all good, I’m happy with my decision.

I’m ready.

I have a LOT of movies to watch.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, July 24, 2020

Day 132


Day 132, self quarantine:

Friday, July 24, 2020

I woke up this morning in a great mood but when I went to write something, I didn’t have much to say.  So rather than force it, I remembered I had a movie to watch.

And it’s produced by my cousin!

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/palm-springs-producer-becky-sloviter-head-female-comedy-label-at-mrc-film-1304058

All I can say is this movie, Palm Springs, is the best thing that’s happened to me since quarantine!

I can’t wait until Gary wakes up so he can watch it, too, and I can watch it again.

Omg the writing in this movie.  The actors!  It’s so much fun I can’t stop smiling.

So that’s it, that’s the post. Stop what you’re doing and watch this movie!

You can thank me later.

xo

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Day 131

Day 131, self quarantine:

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Man, everything is so damn awful in this country today I, not Gary, am going to bake a plum tart.

Because we have plums, and it’s meant to be.

I’ll tell you why.

Julie texted me a beautiful pic from Seattle on Tuesday. She was at Katie’s mom’s house on a lake and picking plums.

I remarked that years ago, when I was head chef and baker at Casa Slick, I used to make a plum torte that was insanely delicious.  

Yeah, that’s right, I’m the one who got everyone food obsessed and cooking around here.  Then they all got better than me.

I didn’t mind stepping aside at all.

Anyway, I immediately told Julie about it when I saw her plums and texted her the below pic and recipe:


One cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
One cup sifted flour
l tsp baking powder
2 eggs
24 halves plums, pitted
Sugar, lemon juice and cinnamon for topping 

  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. 
  2. Cream the sugar and butter in a bowl. Add the flour, baking powder, salt and eggs and beat well.
  3. Spoon the batter into a springform pan of 8, 9 or 10 inches. Place the plum halves skin side up on top of the batter. Sprinkle lightly with sugar and lemon juice. Sprinkle with about 1 teaspoon of cinnamon.
  4. Bake 1 hour. Remove and cool. Serve with whipped cream. 
Julie didn’t respond, she was out walking when she texted me the plum pic.

Gary in the meantime was at the store buying stuff for dinner.  I heard his key in the door.

“I’m home!  I have a treat!”

Ooh ooh.  I like a good treat.

“What?”

“Plums!  Wait til you see these.”

So I know that in July, it’s really not a bizarre coincidence that two people miles apart have plums.

But...

About ten minutes later I get a text from Julie, who had just returned from her walk.

“Oh my god.”

It seems Katie’s mom bakes all the time and while the girls were out walking, she baked a berry torte.

She sent me the pic also posted below.


Spooky, right?

I am not about to ignore a sign.

So I’m baking that torte today.

I’m sitting here smacking my lips.

So what else.

Hmmmm.

Person woman man camera tv...

Oh, sorry, just letting you know I’m a dementia free genius.


😂😂😂😂😂😂

I gotta laugh, what else can I do?

Actually, I’m not getting my hopes up, but his winning streak may be over.  

No city wants his unauthorized secret police.

And I’m sure everyone out of work about to abruptly lose their emergency weekly federal $600 unemployment check on Saturday gives two fucks whether he can remember five easy words, they have other things on their minds.

Like feeding their families.

Right now, he’s an international laughingstock, which in my mind means this is the most dangerous he’s going to be yet.

No worries, enjoy your day, I will be watching the news 24/7 and keeping you all safe.

Remember, this is the law.  I stay awake on airplanes and we don’t crash.

I’m focused on Trump with the opposite in mind.

It’s gonna happen.

You saw what happened to my obgyn last week after I spent some time thinking about him...

Let the three day weekend commence!



Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Closer to Heaven


Day 130


Day 130, self quarantine:

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

So here’s Eric’s new song, Closer to Heaven, which also features his lovely wife, Natalie ❤️

https://youtu.be/02AxgExePWk

Ahhh... I needed that today.

I’m told the video will be out this afternoon.  I’ll post it as soon as it’s up.

Hey, it’ll be nice to “see” Eric again.

Sob.

Also, we learned yesterday that the last single from his record, When it Comes Down to It, just made NPR’s World Cafe’s Best New Music List!


It’s been getting a lot of radio play and Gary is now a local celebrity at Klein’s grocery store where they broadcast WXPN all day.

Haha tell me he doesn’t love walking into the store and hearing, “Yo, Gary, we heard your son on the radio!  Great tune!”

I’m a little nervous today because Gary is going out for some “extracurricular shopping.”  I was right he’s feeling blue and yesterday, when he was poking through his guitars and lamenting some need a little work and tender loving care, I suggested he visit Danny’s Guitars in Narberth today. Oy, I hope it’s safe but it’s a small neighborhood shop and it’s gotta be as safe as the supermarket and he’s been going there since quarantine.


Anyway, his whole face lit up at my suggestion and it’s all he talked about last night so I didn’t express any fears I have about the trip, especially since it was my idea.

Oy, what a way to live.

In other news, I don’t want to scare anyone but Desperate Donald seems to be starting a war with China to take the focus off his gross mismanagement of the pandemic.


So cool, cool, we really are all gonna die.  

I may as well also send Gary out for cinnamon sugar donuts when he goes guitar shopping.  I mean, why bother to deprive myself of anything more?

Maybe when they come for me I’ll be too fat to fit out the front door.

Hmmm.  Sounds like a plan.

I think I’m a little sad, too. Since I can’t go shopping today and I have a rather unfortunate work load, I’m going to try to stay away from the news and just concentrate on getting stuff done.

See you on the flip side.






Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Day 129


Day 129, self quarantine:

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Gary and I watched the Phillies play the Yankees last night live on television for the first time in eight months. There were no fans in the stands and the players, coaches and umpires all wore masks and it was beyond weird.

Somebody please wake me up from this dystopian nightmare.  I promise I’ll never complain about anything ever again.

I swear.

I was still pretty fucking happy to watch that game, though.

I think Gary is feeling sad, too. I was really busy yesterday and didn’t even get the chance to have coffee with him but I did go downstairs for snacks I mean to check on him a few times, expecting to see him stretched out on the sofa watching Password.

The first time I walked downstairs, he was running the vacuum.

I immediately turned around and went back upstairs.  I didn’t want him to stop.  He does a much better job than I do.  I am an admitted half hearted vacuumer.

I did go back downstairs a half hour later to tell him how nice the living room looked.  I’m not stupid.

He was playing guitar and singing softly.

I snuck back upstairs.

But not before snapping a pic.

When I went downstairs  a third time, he was in the kitchen making coconut rice with roasted vegetables. There was a big bowl of warm lentil salad with mustard vinaigrette on the table.  

Fuck yeah.

This time I hung around.

So much for the smoothie/salad plan this week but I’ll do portion control.

I don’t know why I care, we’re all gonna die from coronavirus and/or Donald.

Oh, I’m kidding!  Jeez.

So yeah, Gary is the opposite of me when he’s feeling blue. He smartly gets active right away.  

That’s how I know when something’s up with him.

Conversely, when he’s on the sofa watching mindless television, he’s happy.

Or relaxed from something 😎

The reason I am active and clean the house on Saturday mornings is because I’m chill and in a good mood because Saturday.

Gary doesn’t understand that logic anymore than he understands someone sitting in bed with the covers up over “her” head in a tent when life gets too tough for her.

What, you don’t make tents to sit in when you’re depressed? Really?  

Man, if I could only figure out a pulley system to bring me snacks in there.

Anyway, whatever was bothering Gary passed. Television as usual commenced after coconut rice.

I think the longer this apocalypse continues, we’re going to have those moments of sheer misery where all we want is our lives back and we’re temporarily brought to our knees by everything that‘s happened. 

We’re just going to have to let that dream of our old lives die for now and try to build something new.

I’ll let you know when I figure out how and what but humor is key.

Seriously , we are going to be one fucked up nation of people with post traumatic stress disorder, huh.

Not sure what the answer will be for that, either.  For once I’m glad I’m old.

In other news, tomorrow I will have a tasty new song from Eric’s new record - it’s a duet with Natalie called “Closer to Heaven” and there’s also a video which I have not seen.

A reason to live another day.

So that’s good.

And with that, I’m off to draft some Interrogatories.

Don’t even ask.

Oh well, every day can’t be cookies.

Rock on regardless.

Monday, July 20, 2020

Day 128


Day 128, self quarantine 

Monday, July 20, 2020

I’ve lost track of what week this is.  18?  19?  At this point, who cares, we’re counting months and we’re well into month four.

Welp, I had my thumbprint cookies.  Maybe it’s just me but they taste better with kids and Christmas.

But they were still good.

Okay, they were freaking amazing.

And now this week I’m just doing smoothies and salads in penance.

I think I better get out of my pajamas, too, and put on some tight jeans.

So for Christmas in July yesterday, I bought Casa Slick a new kitchen mat, some brightly colored kitchen towels, and eight really cool green glass vintage Coca Cola juice glasses.

Yeah, Coke juice glasses, that’s how they’re advertised. They’re six ounce glasses which I love because I’m weird.

Ho ho ho.  I know how to live.

But now today is like December 26, I’m bloated and miserable from too many cookies and too much chocolate - oh yes, there was also chocolate because once Gary learned I was celebrating Christmas, he got all nervous he needed a present so he ran out and came back with two bags of Lindor Truffles.

Ugh, it’s actually good I did that yesterday.  I got it out of my system.  I could eat a salad for breakfast right now.

Yep, I definitely have that post holiday depression thing going on.  I’m not feeling work but I have so much I’m heading upstairs the minute I finish writing this.

My hope is I’ll be so busy I will forget to be blue.

And then I’ll spend the rest of the week living in the moment being kind to myself.

As I told Eric yesterday, everything is so awful and bizarre, we have no idea what’s coming, it’s out of our control.  What we can control is how we react to it.

Sure, easy for me to say.  

We all know I’ll be the one hiding under the bed if one more thing happens.

Oh, I’m kidding.  Most of us are a lot stronger than we think, me included.

But yeah, how we react to things out of our control is key.

If there’s one thing I have learned in my old age, everything passes.

So I’ll take my own advice today.  Is everyone I love healthy and in happy relationships?

Yep!

Okay, then.

Everything else is bullshit and will pass.

And with that, I’m off to start my week.

Stay strong, fellow apocalypse dudes.