Day 199, self quarantine:
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Ooh, day 199.
Tomorrow is special, huh. I should send myself a bagel tray or something.
So yesterday Gary and I put the rug down and doing that was right up there with the two of us lugging and installing a new refrigerator and an air conditioner by ourselves last year.
Old people should not be doing stuff like that but okay, age is just a number and everyone knows Gary and I are still sixteen.
Omg my shoulder.
Omg my back.
Ugh, before Gary even woke up, I did all the prep stuff like emptying off the coffee table and other furniture we had to move and naturally while doing that I had to dust and polish.
Basically I was ready for a nap by the time Gary woke up.
Oy, what an experience it turned out to be.
Halfway through, we honestly wanted to give up and quit but we couldn’t stop with half a heavy twelve foot rug pulled out from under our really heavy sofa and the other half hopelessly stuck underneath.
“Pull, Rob, pull!”
Gary had somehow lifted the couch, which seriously, weighs so much I can’t even push it out an inch myself to vacuum.
“I’m trying! I can’t budge it!” I was laying on the floor, trying to grab that ridiculous rug out from under, terrified Gary was going to drop the sofa on my hands.
We struggled for an hour but finally, with some kind of inhuman strength, probably similar to that last burst of energy right before you die, I grabbed that hideous red carpet with both hands and yanked with all my might and I pulled it free just as Gary let go and almost crushed all ten of my fingers.
I actually fell backwards and for the first time EVER, Jake Slick raced over and kissed me on the mouth.
“Am I dead?” I asked Gary. I was still flat on my back.
“Jake! You kissed Mommy! Good boy!” Gary said.
I struggled to sit up.
“Now what?” Gary asked. “How are we going to get this thing out of here?”
I don’t know why he was asking me, I was still having a heart attack from pulling the rug out.
“I think we should roll it up,” Gary said.
Yeah, that would be logical if we had twelve feet of horizontal free space but nope, nope, we do not and for whatever reason, Gary had six guitars out downstairs further complicating things.
It was mathematically impossible to roll up that rug without also taking out the tv and both bookcases.
“I think we should try to fold it,” I said.
“What? You can’t fold a rug.” He looked at me like I was nuts.
Guess what? After arguing for fifteen minutes it would never work, we folded the rug. There was literally nothing else we could do.
So right now it’s folded and jammed on the floor in our narrow twelve foot foyer. We have to climb up on it to get out the front door.
Jake was too scared so Gary had to pick him up and walk twelve feet on a high folded carpet to get him outside.
Luckily trash day is tomorrow. I can’t wait to drag it out the door and down three steps and woo hoo, it’s supposed to rain! Yay!
Oy.
We had to take another hour break before we had the strength to lay the new rug but it’s two feet smaller and doesn’t go under any furniture other than the chair so it was a piece o’cake.
And woo hoo, I love it!
What a difference in the room. No more cheesy casino carpet.
I was so zen yesterday. The house was so clean and pretty! I did go on Twitter but just a few times to holler at Donald and then I put my phone down and enjoyed my surroundings.
There’s a lot more I could say about Donald today but I’m saving it.
Remember this: My crazy witchy feeling told me he’s not on the ballot November 3. I’ve shared that here a few times.
I’m feeling it so strongly...
Tonight’s debate will be a shitshow. He’s going to say he won even after Biden makes a liar/laughingstock out of him and crushes him on basically every level.
He’ll throw out insults and his hideous base will cheer.
I am probably going to “watch” by reading Aaron Rupar’s live tweets.
We’ll talk tomorrow.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
