All by myself

 Can I just say something?

After being all by myself the past two days while my husband is in Seattle, I have new respect and compassion for anyone who lives alone, especially anyone older like me.

I’m fucking humbled.

Jesus Christ, I’m sitting here talking to myself.

You don’t even want to know what goes through my head when I don’t have anyone around.  My post pandemic new self is weird and terrified by everything and probably needs therapy.

Gary used to go away to music camp for a week in August every year and I used to look forward to it.  I’d order dinner every night from expensive restaurants on Grubhub or meet friends for cocktails.  Sometimes I’d stay up all night and watch the Food Network.

I have zero desire to do any of that, though on the plus side, I’ve taken Jasper for 97 walks, cleaned and reorganized the kitchen, and edited the first couple chapters of my novel.

Speaking of novels, Daddy Left Me Alone with God is available in paperback again and ebook if there’s anyone left who still wants to read it. I have an interesting new publisher 😎

https://books2read.com/u/m2qLo7

Anyway, listening to Richard and Teddy Thompson singing Persuasion and REM’s Try Not to Breathe on my YouTube shuffle probably isn’t helping things.  I should put on dance music and twirl Jasper around the living room.

Oy.

Gary left me dinners for the week so food isn’t on my mind, either, no restaurant cooks vegetarian food like he does.  Last night I ate rigatoni with spinach, artichokes, tomatoes and feta in white wine butter sauce; tonight I have fusilli with pesto, potatoes and peas.

Grubhub who?

Okay, that’s it for me.  I’m gonna see if I can incorporate some of this emotion into my new novel, which is officially now called Leaving Candyland.

But yeah, I’m feeling really humbled.