Whoa, day forty. Even an organized religion hating heathen like me knows the biblical significance of that number. Forty days is the number used to emphasize times of trouble and hardship.
So if you believe this stuff:
When God destroyed the earth with water - you guessed it, it rained for forty days and forty nights.
Goliath taunted Saul’s army for forty days before David arrived to slay him.
You know I had to hit Google for this Bible info but I knew it was there and there’s a ton more but I’m too lazy and disinterested 😎.
You get the picture though.
Anyway, forty freaking days. We made it.
So one of the fascinating things I keep talking about are the subtle and not so subtle changes I’m noticing in Gary and me as a result of being in isolation together even after all these years as a couple. I still get freaked out every time I walk downstairs and see Gary sitting at the dining room table with his laptop. He’s lucky I don’t mistake him for a stranger and clobber him from behind with one of his fancy pans.
But nothing prepared me for last night.
I was doing my usual evening sofa sprawl Twitter surf and following along while Donald was doing his usual unhinged presser. Naturally I was making faces as I read my Twitter feed and naturally Gary asked me “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing, just Grandpa Crazypants telling everyone if they inject disinfectant and ultraviolet light into their bodies it will cure coronavirus,” I replied, expecting Gary to sigh and walk out of the room.
“What a crazy motherfucker. The only people dumber are his supporters. How about the way he threw Kemp under the bus?” he replied instead.
But nothing prepared me for last night.
I was doing my usual evening sofa sprawl Twitter surf and following along while Donald was doing his usual unhinged presser. Naturally I was making faces as I read my Twitter feed and naturally Gary asked me “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing, just Grandpa Crazypants telling everyone if they inject disinfectant and ultraviolet light into their bodies it will cure coronavirus,” I replied, expecting Gary to sigh and walk out of the room.
“What a crazy motherfucker. The only people dumber are his supporters. How about the way he threw Kemp under the bus?” he replied instead.
Wait, what?! I stared at him with my mouth open.
“You know about Governor Kemp?”
“Yeah, another genius. Let’s head down to Georgia for haircuts, tattoos, and body bags. But who I can’t believe is that fucker Mitch McConnell. Dude looks and sounds like the Grim Reaper. Cuomo burned his ass, huh. I really like him, the guy is compassionate. Why the hell isn’t he president?”
Excuse me? This is Gary talking? The guy who one month ago watched hockey 24/7 and refused to watch the news or discuss politics?
And not only that, hang on, how does he know all this stuff? I know he said he checks out a little international news after I go to bed but I’ve been half awake the last couple of nights and I heard what he’s watching and no way did he get his information from that.
“You know about Governor Kemp?”
“Yeah, another genius. Let’s head down to Georgia for haircuts, tattoos, and body bags. But who I can’t believe is that fucker Mitch McConnell. Dude looks and sounds like the Grim Reaper. Cuomo burned his ass, huh. I really like him, the guy is compassionate. Why the hell isn’t he president?”
Excuse me? This is Gary talking? The guy who one month ago watched hockey 24/7 and refused to watch the news or discuss politics?
And not only that, hang on, how does he know all this stuff? I know he said he checks out a little international news after I go to bed but I’ve been half awake the last couple of nights and I heard what he’s watching and no way did he get his information from that.
Is he going online during the day while he’s working on his new laptop? Gary? The guy who hates the internet and thinks it’s government mind control? You know I had to ask.
“Of course not,” he snapped.
Oh, really?
“Then how do you know about Cuomo, McConnell and Kemp?” I asked suspiciously.
“I get this stuff by osmosis,” he said. “I just listen here and there. You can learn things without an iPhone in your hand all day,” he added, giving me a pointed look.
I don’t know, I’m not buying it.
He’s got a secret source and I’m gonna get to the bottom of it.
In other news, I’m really happy it’s the end of the work week. Other than profoundly missing my kids, I’m in a pretty good head today.
I mean, c’mon, it’s pizza night.
I may even wash my hair.
Happy Friday!
