Adventures in Post Pandemic Life

 

So yesterday was my first trip alone downtown since the pandemic and it wasn’t pretty.

Oh my fucking god, I forget how to do everything.

Well, in all fairness to myself, I wasn’t in the best head.  I’ve been having weird blurry vision occasionally in my left eye, but I’m a raging hypochondriac and life with Gary is very...smoky. So who knows?  Maybe it was my imagination.

But yeah, okay, my mother died of a brain tumor and I know it’s one of the symptoms and Web MD told me if I had one, my eye doctor would see it immediately and tell me.

So when my doctor spent way more time on my left eye than right and had me do stuff with that eye she didn’t ask with the other and then pulled up her chair to talk with me in the middle of the exam I heard white noise and broke out into a sweat I haven’t had since menopause.

I seriously almost threw up all over her office.

“Robin, you have the start of a cataract in your left eye,” she started to say.

“Oh thank you!” I shouted.

“You’re thanking me for a cataract?” Was it my imagination or did she back another six feet away?

I’m not going to torture myself by rehashing how socially inept I am now, and what idiotic things I babbled to my eye doctor, who probably thinks I am a total freak and not the good kind.

And then...

And then I ordered an Uber for the first time since March 2020 and I completely forgot how.  I mean, I know I was a mess from the eye doctor, but I was so disoriented, I pulled up the app and couldn’t remember how to use it.

Because the fuckers changed it during the pandemic.

Whose brilliant idea was that?

My driver was arriving in a silver Prius.  I had eyedrops in from my exam, I am blind as a bat, and every other fucking car was silver.

Anyway, by the time I got home, I was an anxiety ridden mess.

But hey hey, I did it, and now I know I can.

But wow, it was weird.

I really did stay in the house for over a year and the few times I did go out, it was with Gary.  

Gary and I have literally been together 24/7 since March 2020 so even just walking down Walnut Street alone felt surreal.

I didn’t like it.

Oh well, I’m sure it will get easier, if not, I’ll find a good therapist 😎

For now, it’s upstairs to work.

I’m off to answer 90 Interrogatories courtesy of some sadistic dickhead defense attorney.

Two can play at that game, asshole, I’ve got twelve more days.

Not that I’m counting.

Love,
Robin Slick, Paralegal 

(for twelve more days)

Monday Monday

 

So in 50 years of working, one thing has never changed, no matter where I’ve ever been employed.

I don’t enjoy Sundays, I’m a bundle of nerves Sunday night, and I never wake up feeling well on Monday mornings.

As I sit here queasily sipping my coffee, thinking of all the work I have to knock out today, I suddenly realized this is it, this is my last Monday feeling like this.

Next Monday and Tuesday our office is closed for the Jewish holiday.

The following Monday, May 24, is my last week working in this lifetime.  If I wake up worried and nauseous that day, there’s no hope for me to ever relax, huh.  😂

On Friday I worked a ten hour day.

WHO DOES THAT AT MY AGE AFTER GIVING SIX WEEKS NOTICE?

A crazy person, that’s who.

And other than my boss, no one even cares or will acknowledge it.

Oh well.  That’s life.

I’m also nutz today because I finally have an eye doctor appointment after literally being blind all year after my prescription expired and I ran out of disposable contacts during the pandemic. Because I am me, I can never schedule an appointment with any doctor without first thinking they’re going to find something fatal.

Naturally I think my blurry vision is something ominous other than the Mr. Magoo nearsighted eyesight I’ve had since age 11.

You know, because I’m retiring and about to enjoy myself?

Gah!

In case anyone is wondering, I’m still a nervous wreck about this country, too.  Holy fuck people here are mean and stupid.  

Really stupid.

As in Trump and Trump supporter stupid.

Anyway...

Don’t be like me today, be normal.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Happy Mother’s Day

 

Yeah, that’s right, that’s my mom, and now you know where Julie, Eric and I get our star power.  Happy Mother’s Day 😎

Slowly returning to normal...

 ...whatever that is.

Eric came for a visit, and we went to the beach.  And it was excellent.

Good morning

 My husband baked fresh blueberry almond biscuits this morning and I have already had six. 

Today...

 ...was the best day ever.  Official retirement isn’t until May 28 but I am feeling the joy.  ❤️

Shy and retiring 😎

 

Friday afternoon news drop.

I did it.

I told my boss I’m retiring.

My last day is May 28.

I’m not gonna say “It’s the summer of Robin” because we all know how well that worked for George Costanza, but still.

The first week of June I’m on a plane to Nashville for a few days and then onward to Seattle for an epic hang with Julie til whenever.

Inspired by this year’s Top Chef, we’re gonna Amtrak it to Portland for a few days and do some massive eating.

I see you, Portland friends. I’ll be hitting you up 😎

So yeah, retiring.  I actually retired twice before, but this time it’s legit, with money saved and social security just like a real adult.

Feh.  Adulthood.  The pandemic really brought that...and death...to my forefront.

I’m so fucking over both.

LET’S PARTY.

I couldn’t sleep last night because I knew I was calling my boss at 8:00so I signed on to work at 5:00 a.m. and now I’m collapsed on the sofa, wasted.

I’m euphoric but I’m also kind of sad.  I loved the writing aspect of my job and I really like my boss and my coworkers. It’s not going to be easy walking away this time.

But hell yeah I’m walking.

Gary and I have all kinds of plans.

Or, we may just hang out here and watch birds and listen to John Lee Hooker The Healer and eat raspberries like we’re doing now.

Oh, did I mention Eric is coming for a visit next week?

YESSSSSSSS.

Have an awesome weekend.

Day whatever, quarantine

 We’re still quarantined though fully vaxxed.  In the meantime, this goes on in our yard every day and yesterday Gary was able to capture it.

April 4, 2021

 Easter, 2021.  A tale of three Presidents.

Day whatever

 Mood, Jake and I sitting outside Trader Joe waiting for Gary to senior shop, year 2 of the pandemic, 4/3/21.