And here I thought all the best jokes were about blondes...

This is how I know I really am a dork. I saw this on someone's live journal page and lifted it because I think it's cool.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not just a mere dork, I'm an uber geek. Oh well. It could be worse.

Okay, first let's dispense with the writing stuff.

I personally find the following hilarious, but with all due respect, maybe you have to actually be a writer to fully appreciate them:

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"

"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."
*****

True story:

Sinclair Lewis arrived at Harvard - drunk, as usual - to talk about his craft.

"Hands up, all those who want to be writers!" he yelled. Everyone's hand went up.

"Then why the hell aren't you at home writing?" he asked, and staggered off the platform.

*****
Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I can't tell whether you mean 'change a light bulb' or 'have sex in a light bulb.' Can we reword it to remove the ambiguity?
*****

Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one. But first they have to rewire the entire building.
*****

Q: How many managing editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!
*****

Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Does it HAVE to be a light bulb?
*****

Q: How many copy editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors. Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be changed? It seems inconsistent.
*****

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?
*****

Q: How many proofreaders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query them.
*****

Q: How many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: But why do we have to CHANGE it?
*****

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to screw it in, and two to hold down the author.
*****

Q: How many booksellers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, and they'll be glad to do it too, except no one shipped them any.
*****

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside.

“What happened, honey?” the man asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is--”

“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”
*****

Thanks to one of my favorite authors, Maryanne Stahl, for turning me on to these.

And speaking of my extraordinary writer pals, here's something I received in my email from Ellen Meister, and my only regret is that I'm exempt, though how weird is this, my name is already a character in a Canadian play...I tried to find the link on Google which I discovered around six months ago but gave up...anyway, that Robin Slick was a man and I remember something about him being "greasy" which naturally did not exactly thrill me but I stil couldn't get over it.

Oh what a surprise, I went off track for a change. Focus, Robin. Okay.

Here's what Ellen has to say:

"Hi! I'm happy to announce a new promotion I'm calling the ...

"I Want A Freaking Character Named After Me!" Drawing

At last, the opportunity to curse like an angry housewife and have a chance to be immortalized in print ... all with one simple email.

Anyone who's read Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA will have an easy time entering. Here's how it works ...

1) Send an email to me at win(at)ellenmeister(dot)com

2) In the subject line, type in Maddie's favorite multi-syllable curse

3) In the body of the email, type in your name as you'd like it to appear in my next book

That's it! After May 31, 2007, all entries with the correct curse phrase will be entered into a drawing. One lucky winner will get a character named for them in my next novel.

Good luck ... and happy cursing!

Ellen

P.S. One entry per person, and you must be 18 or over.

Ellen Meister, author of Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA. Visit my website at www.ellenmeister.com."
*****

I think Ellen's contest is absolutely brilliant, don't you?

You know, I've said many times that I hate religion and profess to be a heathen but there is more and more growing evidence that I do in fact have a higher power, and his/her humor just keeps getting more and more twisted. I have absolutely nothing lined up until the summer in both writing and I'm-a-groupie-for-my-kids world except a book convention on the other side of the country from April 25-29, which I mentioned here on Friday. So what do I read in Neil Gaiman's journal this morning?

"Seeing the Village Voice has just leaked it, and a few of you have written to ask about it, yes, I will be a Guest at the PEN World Voices Festival at the end of April. I can't give you any other details right now, but the curious should go here and sign up for the Festival mailing list for more information."

Naturally, this is from April 25-29 in New York City, an hour and fifteen minutes from my house. Sob...and you can bet that all of my New York writer pals -- like the currently missing in action Susan Henderson will be there sipping martinis and hanging with Neil while I'm on the other side of the country partying with faeries and vampires.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Speaking of Susan, man it's been a long week without her. Poor baby has been on a five star Caribbean cruise as per her website, which, thank God, says she'll be back tomorrow where I suspect it will be business as usual with the ever so coy Susan not giving us any details as to where and why.
*******
Finally in writing news, a HUGE congratuations to fellow Phaze author Alessia Brio, who took top honors last night at Epicon, winning best erotic e-book of 2006. Actually, I see a lot of Phaze authors on that list so...yay!!!!
******
Music news:

Eric has some jazz gigs coming up...one with amazing sax player Elliott Levin and something else with someone fairly major in jazz world that I'm not allowed to blab about yet because while it's pretty much a done deal, it's not entirely official yet so Eric asked me to keep quiet.

But yeah, Eric is also playing Bonnaroo and looking over that list, I'm not sure who he is playing with...I only know it involves bongos and belly dancers and his all access backstage pass enables to hang out with all of the bands mentioned.

"Oh, hi, Sting, nice to meet you but please do me a favor and put that fucking lute down before I crack it over your head and shove the splinters up your nose, okay?"

That's me speaking, not Eric. Eric is far too polite and kind.

You may have noticed I haven't mentioned Julie lately...that's because she's finishing her senior year at Drexel U and is buried deep in her thesis/senior project. In fact, I haven't even seen her for a couple of days but my straight A student/rock star also works at a fabulous restaurant a few nights a week so I think Gary and I may pop in on her tonight -- she takes really good care of us and I admit it, I get a vicarious thrill having her wait on me for a change.

Finally, congratulations to Scott Abernethy, who won the honor of having his artwork appear on Adrian Belew's Dust CD Collection and here's his award winner:



Pretty cool, huh.

So that covers it for today, I think, but who knows...as usual, if I get any interesting news, and trust me, I'm waiting on several things (again, as usual), I'll be back.

Later,
xo

When the world's 5th best blogger doesn't feel like blogging.

This is one of my "rare gems". If you've seen the movie Rock School, the film culminates with the Rock School All-Stars, who, at the time were twenty kids, two of whom were a 16 and 17 year old Julie and Eric, going to Germany to perform at Zappanale, a festival held every summer to pay tribute to the music of Frank Zappa. I tagged along with the kids that year -- it was 2003 -- and here's a pic I've posted before where I'm posing in the town square with a couple strange guys looking on, and which town square, instead of having a bust of a war hero, has this:



Anyway, this You Tube is part of a film that follows the legendary Ike Willis on tour through Europe that summer, and if you look closely, there I am drinking beer in the background right after Mike Keneally was interviewed; you can briefly get glimpses of Julie and Eric...and then a nice large chuck of Eric playing the vibes on stage.

So when I first met Ike that year backstage, the two of us bonded right away and when he heard Eric play with Rock School -- and Eric had just turned 16 -- he looked at me and said "That boy is on the list. You mark my words."

"The list?" I asked, because, well, in spite of my claim to fame as a musicologist, I had no idea what he meant.

"It means someday your boy and I are going to be in a band together. He's going to be my drummer."

I grinned from ear to ear like the proud groupie/stage mother I am and strutted around Germany for four days on a total high from that statement, but who could have predicted that it would come true. Because as well as being drummer for the Adrian Belew Power Trio, Eric is also drummer for Project Object featuring Ike Willis on guitar and vocals, and in a perfect case of synchronicity, will be performing again at Zappanale this summer. This is the fourth time Eric will be there -- he played the festival in 2003 and 2005 with Rock School, 2006 with Adrian Belew, and in 2007 now he returns for what's actually a ten day tour throughout Europe with Project Object. Adrian was kind enough to schedule his summer touring with Julie and Eric around the Project Object tour so that Eric can do both. Pretty damn cool life my son has, huh.



And that would be Eric and Ike in Germany during the summer of 2005.



And that would be Eric and Ike/Project Object at Martyrs in Chicago on January 5 of this year.

Anyway, if you are interested in buying some or all of the CDs or DVDs associated with any of the Zappanale festivals I mentioned above, just follow this link. Or this one.

So I guess apologies are in order. Sorry. The world's 5th best blogger, diarist, has not felt like blogging this week. I'm sick of winter, sick of having what I still feel is an unfinished novel, and well, I still feel sick in general. Even almost two weeks after the great stomach virus of 2007, I don't have my appetite back and without good food, I'm miserable. So I'm trying the high octane stuff like veggies and fish but really, I think I'm currently a head case who is better off burying said head under a pillow until this passes.

Let's see. What would help. An acceptance letter from somewhere. An award? A spike in my Amazon ratings for sales of Three Days? Actually, my Amazon ratings did spike, and for one glorious day last week, I was at like 66,000. Now I'm back at 500,000 or something. But I am still number one best seller here.

Oh, this helps, too.

Eric has a gig with Ween's Dave Dreiwitz in his side project, Crescent Moon at the Luna Lounge, 371 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, New York on March 24.

Here's a picture Gary took the last time Eric played with Dave in Crescent Moon back in December, 2006 at Mexicali Blues in Teaneck, New Jersey. Do they have the coolest stage or what?



In writing news, I am pleased to give you a sneak peak of an exciting new print mag, Noveltown Review, in which I am proud to have a regular column and even prouder to see my name on the cover next to such luminaries in the writing world. (Note to founding editor N.L. Belardes: My column for Issue Two is almost done and I should have it to you by the end of the weekend).



Speaking of N.L., there are two things you should know:

One, please ask to be his Noveltown Review MySpace friend. They are going for a record 10,000 writers/fans/pals. And as I recently wrote to Nick, or N.L., that's one hell of a MySpace site and why oh why am I not able to do anything so creative with mine?

Secondly, you really need to buy Nick's book, Lords, Part I. I just received my copy and am currently being blown away. He's got other books for sale on his site as well but Lords is the first one I've purchased...you can be sure that as soon as I'm finished, I will be checking out any and everything else. Nick also keeps the world's most awesome blog right here -- in fact, he recently did an interview with yours truly and is probably still waiting for me to send him those "new, creative photos" he requested before he posts it so I guess I'll have to figure out something today. Both my kids shudder at the thought of taking my pic because I am so NOT photogenic I hate them all and make them keep re-taking them much to their mortification. Nick kind of let me off the hook and said, "Well, Robin, they don't have to be photos of you, they can be cool photos of stuff around your house," but then that would mean I have to straighten up around here today and I'm not sure if I feel like doing that or not.

We shall see.

In other writing news, I'm sad to be missing Epicon (a book convention in Virginia Beach) this weekend but am thrilled to be part of the RT Convention from April 25-29 and will be signing books all day long on the 28th. Check out what I get to do during this five day span:

"Experience seven concurrent educational tracks, with 125 workshops for readers, authors, aspiring writers, independent booksellers, publishers, book distributors and chain bookstore buyers topped off with lots of fun parties.

What sets the RT BOOKLOVERS CONVENTION apart from any other convention? We understand the productive impact of mixing business and networking with fellowship and fun.

Begin each morning with a meet and greet mixer hosted by various authors and publishers. Then choose from a rich variety of over 125 informative workshops for readers, writers and booksellers. Cap off the afternoon with a fun-filled stimulating networking party. At dark, it's time to get ready for our sumptuous evening events.

Our Theme Events Include Magnificent Costume Balls and Dance Parties:

A Bevy of Authors Host The Medieval Faery Ball

Heather Graham's Vampires of the Wild, Wild West Dinner Theatre and Dance

Ellora's Cave Fantasy Moulin Rouge Party

(Yes, I will come dressed as Nicole Kidman. All I have to do is lose 100 pounds and the err..Jewish face)

Dorchester Publishing's Immortal Extravaganza

Harlequin's Paranormal Party for Their New Line, Nocturne

Other Events Include:

Romantic Times Giant Book Fair - with over 300 authors signing their latest books. Our much anticipated Mr. Romance Competition - where fans will cheer on 10 romantic hunks as they compete for the 2007 title in several areas of competition: looks, pose-down ability (for a cover) and aptitude for romance; Romantic Times Awards Luncheon presented by Triskelion Publishing and their authors - and the Best Books of the Year.

(Excuse me? Mr. Romance Competition? Oh god, I'll be at the bar getting drunk during that one...as far away from that thing as humanly possible.)

The final day of the convention is Psychic Sunday which offers fascinating demonstrations that explore our spiritual pathways and psychic skills. Attend the talks and classes presented by energy healers, channelers, and psychics, some of whom are familiar authors. Learn meditation techniques that deepen your intuitiveness and creativity. There will be opportunities to meet privately with psychic mediums.

(Now that I am into. But only if they tell me 2008 will see me with a best-selling book and traveling the world)

New Concepts Publishing celebrates its 10th Anniversary at the Sunday night Pajama Party with snacks, drinks, karaoke, dancing and loads of fun."

(Ahem. Karaoke? Aha! The chance to sing in public without my family wailing and putting their hands over their ears? I'll do that after sitting at the bar for a few hours, too...what a shame it's not right after Mr. Romance is crowned.)

So while not all of this is my typical cup o'tea so to speak, it is a lot of fun though whether I'm showing up in costume for any of this stuff is pretty much a no brainer: THE ANSWER IS NO. I mean, this convention basically covers all genres of "romance" from chick lit (me) to paranormal stuff so a lot of authors dress as fairy princesses, vampires, you name it. So what I might do is switch out of black t-shirts and jeans to...gasp...a black dress, because that's as close to stepping out of my usual persona as I can do without compromising my integrity.

Har har. What integrity, you ask? Yeah, I know, I asked myself the same question, but seriously, there's no reason for me to dress up because even in my novels, my characters wear all black, too, so technically I'm following the rules and am attending in said character.

And with that comment, let's call it a wrap. Does this blogpost make up for my disappearance this week? Is it meaty, big, and bouncy enough?

Hope so. If not, I hope to have a lot more...

later,
xo

Fan Mail From Some Flounders - Part whatever

Some fun stuff arrived in my e-mail today:

First:

"...I came across your story "Daddy Left Me Alone With God" and I was absolutely blown away by it...,my question is: Would you agree to let me use your story as a basis for my short film?

...I will give you full credit as author of the original story and if the film gets into festivals then, who knows, it may lead to something. Of course I will let you have a DVD of the film once it is finished. I hope you are agreeable and will let me use your wonderful story in this way. I look forward to hearing from you.

Jonty Reason
Pittot Films, Melbourne
0411 22 73 70
pittotfilms@mac.com
www.pittotfilms.com"

So that was a nice thing to wake up to.

Next, a couple of days ago I mentioned that there's a great radio station, 89.7 WNKU with an outrageously brilliant taste in music disc jockey named Jeff Menke who does a show every Saturday night at midnight called Rainbow Bridge. He sent me an email today as follows:

"Robin and all,
I think I have a pretty good show prepared for tonight and hope you can listen in. Beside the Lennon/Zappa song, there's Argent, Oingo Boingo, Billy Cobham (for Eric), King Crimson live from 1982 and more. I may also play an Adrian Belew tune with his band from the 1960's, The Denems"

Yep, you'd better believe I'll be listening in at 12:00 a.m. He also wrote to me in a prior email that "I plan to play Cold Turkey performed by John Lennon and Frank Zappa and The Mothers this weekend from the Fillmore in 1969 in your honor."

Here's the link to listen live. And I bet if you're really into the music, Jeff won't mind if you call him up and say Hi.

Okay, still waiting on some news, still writing up a storm, and currently contemplating whether it's finally safe to eat something other than toast or oatmeal for dinner tonight.

P.S. The photo I posted today has something to do with Daddy Left Me Alone with God and that's all I'm saying.

Later,
xo

Madness!

The Adrian Belew Power Trio performing Madness at the Southgate House

And here's a review of that show:

"The Adrian Belew Power Trio at the Southgate House in Newport: On one hand, it was a homecoming for guitar dynamo, pop stylist and instrumental innovator Belew, who was born in nearby Covington. On the other, the show was a celebration of the moment, as it was recorded for an upcoming live album to be titled Side Four. There even were a few Bears loose in the audience (specifically guitarist Rob Fetters and bassist Bob Nyswonger, who will be teaming up with Belew for a Bears reunion this summer). But the biggest thrill was getting to hear the guitarist's current trio in action. Over the past year, Belew has worked with a pair of industrious young siblings. Bassist Julie Slick, 21, and her drummer brother Eric, 19, attacked the monster funk of Writing on the Wall and Ampersand as well as the deep-pocket groove of Madness with a mix of youthful might and profound technical prowess. Such tunes gave Belew's poppish preferences a Red Hot Chili Peppers makeover, but the guitarist had plenty of other stylistic cards to play. Drive was a one-man-band carnival of pedal effects, echo devices and music that shifted from eerie twang to whammy bar-induced ambience. There also were nods to Belew's 25 years with King Crimson (a beastly Frame by Frame), early solo career delights (the big-beat guitar crunch sing-along Big Electric Cat) and forgotten gems (the percussive, almost tribal sounding title track to 1990's Young Lions) that were pumped up and delightfully mangled by the very un-slick sounding Slicks."

So that's cool. Delightfully Mangled. I like that name for a book. I think I'm going to use it for the next one, which I'm already plotting even though I'm still not feeling confident that Daddy Left Me Alone with God is finished. But yeah, Delighfully Mangled. I'm serious. It totally fits.

While I'm talking about writing, I learned I won this today from Rites of Romance for Another Bite of the Apple:


RORR AWARDS

Best New Author 2006

Stella and Audra Price
Honorable Mention: Jacquelyn Frank

Best Artist 2006

Skylar Sinclair
Honorable Mention: Stella Price

Best Paranormal Book 2006

Sugar and Sin -Stella and Audra Price
Honorable Mention: Pack Challenge- Shelly Laurenston

Best Shifter Story 2006

Border Lair - Bianca D'Arc
Dark Side Of The Moon- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Honorable Mention:Kitten Mychael Black

Best Contemporary 2006

Tequila makes her clothes fall off - Cara North
Honorable Mention: Another Bite of the Apple- Robin Slick

Best Cover 2006

The Ice Dragon- Bianca D'Arc
Honorable Mention: Sugar and Sin- Stella and Audra Price

Best Erotica 2006

Sex Slave - Skylar Sinclair
Honorable Mention: A Bit of Rough- Laura Baumbach

Best Alt. Lifestyle 2006

Crimson Ambrosia- Sabrina Luna
Honorable Mention: Twice the Cowboy- James Buchanan

Best Book 2006

Michael Barnette Apocalypse Dance
Honorable Mention: Jacquelyn Frank Jacob

Best Publisher 2006

Samhain Publishing
Honorable Mention: Phaze

Best Paranormal Author 2006

Bianca D'Arc
Honorable Mention: Christine Feehan

Best Vamp Story 2006

Midnight Sun-Rene Lyons
Honorable Mention: Hunting The Hunter by Shiloh Walker

So that's cool. My publisher won an Honorable Mention, too.

Also, I entered a fun contest today sponsored by Smith Magazine:

Everyone has a story. Can you tell yours in six words? Sure you can. Submit yours to be considered for SMITH's book of six-word memoirs, published in 2008 by HarperCollins, with short, short life stories from Dave Eggers, Moby, Mario Batali, Jonathan Lethem, Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen J. Dubner--and maybe you.

Here's what I entered:

Babyboomer wonders: What the hell happened?

There are entries from some pretty cool authors on the website -- some of whom are friends of mine so to be honest, I'll be honored if they merely put mine up on the webpage.

Okay, I'm lying. Of course I want to be in the damn book. Wouldn't you?

I'm waiting on some other writing news - okay, a lot of writing news. I may be back if I hear anything.

Later,
xo

Back by popular demand....

Ha ha - I figured I didn't want to drive everyone nuts or worse, bore you to tears with daily photos of my kids and Adrian Belew (not that Adrian could ever be boring...oh my god, I hope you all read his blog every day -- he really does rock in every way possible) so I went shuffling through my various photo sites and found this one from a couple of years ago in NYC which I've probably posted before but I can't remember. The beautiful redhead planting one on my cheek is my "fellow" writer pal Maya whose dad was in the Allman Brothers so like, we have that in common (musician fathers from whom we are alienated har har) and no, no, it's not what you are thinking. We were talking books, shopping, and err...you know what? I think we might have been hamming it up for Ellen who at that time was telling us about this new novel she'd written and how she was trying to find an agent. Basically, that's what we talked about all through breakfast -- agent queries. And now look at us. A couple of years later and we're all like, an agent, ha ha, that's just step two out of a thousand more. Oh. Step one is actually writing something worthwhile. After that it's a total free-fall altogether.

By the way, notice I am wearing my black Nano t-shirt...that year I actually did complete a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I did it three times...four if you count my current book, but then again, that's taken me two Nanos' to finish so I'm not sure if it counts or not.

Anyway, as you can tell, I've rejoined the living and apparently do not have anything fatal after all, though on Sunday you could have fooled me. I mean, Saturday night I was fine...in fact, I was better than fine, I was awesome. Why? We went out to dinner, it was good, I had one glass of a really fine wine...then at midnight we tuned into radio station WNKU 89.7 and listened to the world's coolest disc jockey, Jeff Menke. He was at the Adrian Belew Power Trio show in Newport, KY for the recording of Side Four Live and he met up with Gary there, gave him his card, and told him he'd be playing Beatbox Guitar on his show this past Saturday and that we could hear the show via the internet. He said he was so blown away by the trio that he'd be talking them up on his program so that was all I had to hear -- I didn't even care that his show ran from midnight until 2:00 a.m. when I am usually dead to the world. Jeff is my new hero. Get a load of of what this man's got on his playlist:

The Beatles Come Together 1
The Zombies Time Of The Season Best Of The Zombies
John Lennon #9 Dream Walls And Bridges
Don Byron Bounce Of The Sugar Plum Faries / Powerhouse Bug Music
Todd Rundgren / Jeff Baxter Something To Fall Back On With A Little Help From My Friends
Queen Bohemian Rhapsody A Night At The Opera
David Bowie / Rick Wakeman Space Oddity Changesbowie
Ric Hickey And The Loose Wrecks Afterthoughts 2006
Adrian Belew Power Trio Beat Box Guitar Single
Gentle Giant All Through The Night Civilian
The Mothers Of Invention The Return Of The Son Of Monster Magnet Freak Out
Frank Zappa Drowning Witch Ship Arriving Too Late...
Pink Floyd One Of These Days Meddle
Dread Zeppelin I Can't Quit You Babe Un-Led-Ed
Primus My Name Is Mud Pork Soda
Colosseum II The Inquisition War Dance
10cc Blackmail The Original Soundtrack
Todd Rundgren Eastern Intrigue / Initiation Back To The Bars
The Allman Brothers Band Stormy Monday The Fillmore Concerts
Dixie Dregs Jessica California Screamin'
The J. Geils Band First I Look At The Purse Anthology
Edgar Winter's White Trash Tobacco Road Roadwork
Z Z Top Thunderbird Fandango
Frank Zappa Big Swifty / City Of Tiny Lights Make A Jazz Noise Here
Yes And You And I YesYears Vol. 4
King Crimson Frame By Frame B'Boom
The Who We're Not Gonna Take It / Summertime Blues Woodstock 1969
Dread Zeppelin Heartbreaker The Song Remains Insane

Man, look at those awesome tunes. And to think I've probably slept with half of the musicians in those bands....

Ha! Just kidding. But someone from a indie newspaper emailed me again about this little Robin Slick/Pamela DesBarre/Bebe Buell groupie article and no, I'm not going to give you the Hungarian translation again...okay, you twisted my arm, it says I'm still cool even if they've been unable to unearth a plaster cast with my signature on it.

Okay, they didn't say I was cool, they said I was coy.

Oy.

Anyway, getting back to the fabulous Jeff, he did in fact play Beatbox Guitar, then went on to say that he has been around music for a long time (in fact, in a subsequent email, he told me he had tickets to see the Beatles but oh my god, they were cancelled due to inclement weather)...anyway, yeah, he's a fellow musicologist and he said very little comes down the pike today which makes him speechless and that's the way he felt when he saw Julie and Eric play with Adrian. He said he literally walked around for three days unable to talk because he was on such a high from the show. Funny story -- when he first started talking about the kids, he said "I, um, think they're from Pittsburgh" and of course Gary and I could not let that one pass so I said to Gary, "Hey, why not call him and say Hi and tell him that Julie and Eric are from Philadelphia! Gary does not have to be asked something like that twice, so like at 1:00 a.m. he called Jeff up and it was so totally cool - the two of them talked; Gary put me on the phone because Jeff reads my blog all the time (yes, I know. I'm not only right up there with Pamela DesBarre, I'm also giving Arianna Huffington a run for her money). After we hung up, Jeff not only told his listeners about our call, he went on to talk up the Belew Power Trio even more...and even gave everyone the name/link to my blog.

Trust me on this -- listening to Jeff Menke on Saturday nights at midnight is going to be a new weekly tradition in this house. Unfortunately, his shows are not archived but his set lists are and oh man, why isn't he here in Philadelphia? Our radio stations truly, truly suck. Well, I guess if you are into Blue Oyster Cult, rap music, or that idiot Rush Limbaugh you're in good shape, but if you have any taste at all, you are shit out of luck here. Which for a major city is just pitiful. Oh wait. That's the U.S. in general these days, huh. So lacking in good taste it's embarrassing. At least you get to hear some tasty indie stuff on internet radio but it would be nice if there was still such a thing as "underground F.M.". And if you know what I mean by that, well, you are probably, like me, sob...born before 1970.

Here's the link to listen live.

So yeah, we were totally stoked that night; we went to bed around 2:30 a.m., I felt great, and then an hour later, I woke up...oh my god, I thought I was dying. I literally could not even hold down a glass of water and every joint in my body ached beyond belief. As I tossed and turned, I considered the possibilities. Flu? Yeah, but usually you have some warning about that...like a scratchy throat the day before or a bad headache. Food poisoning? Nah, I didn't eat anything weird, and like I said, I only had one glass of wine. So it's now like 4:00 a.m. and I've now thrown up like six times in an hour and I figured this was it...you don't even want to know the morbid fantasies I entertained. But you know I was deathly ill if I was too sick to even go on line all day Sunday and check my email...plus, I didn't want to start looking up my symptoms on the internet because I was positive the web would confirm what I already knew -- I had something fatal and my death would be quick but not painless.

Anyway, Gary was a fucking prince. He stood over me while I was sick and kept handing me fresh buckets lined with plastic bags while he wiped my forehead with cold compresses and asked every five minutes if I wanted to go to the hospital. No, I did not want to go to the e.r.; I preferred to die in my own home.

To make a long story at least a bit shorter, I was still sick as a dog on Monday but able to check my email, where I learned that one of my favorite magazines was advertising Three Days in New York City on their front page...and that magazine is Juked. If you didn't go there last week and read Myfanwy Collins' phenomenal story, do yourself a favor and head over there this instant!

Speaking of Myfanwy, I lifted this quiz Who Is Your Inner Rock Chick? off her blog...and as I told her, Oh god, that was sobering. You know why? None of those questions really applied to me. Not the clothes, not the hair, not any of the lyrics. There were no categories for "dresses all in black" "long wild blonde hair" and "As soon as you're born, they make you feel small" (Working Class Hero, John Lennon). Anyway...after answering the questions as best I could, here's what it said:

You Are Avril Lavigne!
A bit hardcore on the outside...
But sweet and sensitive on the inside.
"It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life"

Okay...if they say so.

While I'm still talking about music, sort of, and it's been what, a few paragraphs since I mentioned Adrian Belew, here's an extremely cool contest he's running at the moment: Have You Ever Wanted to Design An Album Cover?

Come on. You know you want to enter. Hey, if I wasn't connected to the band, I'd submit something for sure.

Okay, now that I've totally lost my train of thought...getting back to Monday, so yeah, I was starting to feel a little better but the room was still spinning and I still couldn't eat, which, if you know me at all, just doesn't happen. I can always force a little something down. To say I'm a foodie is putting it mildly. But I did walk away from the computer without going to Web M.D. and then the next thing I know, Eric looks at me and I notice he's white as a ghost.

"Mom...I don't feel so good..."

And so it really began in earnest...Eric all Monday night into Tuesday...and then Tuesday, an hour after leaving for work, Gary came bursting through the door in a cold sweat which later turned into the fever from hell (it's funny how this thing manifests itself differently in everyone it hit...Julie came down with it as well but with her it was more of an ache-y headcold kind of thing)...he'd hurled into a dumpster behind his office before coming home but that was it...and he was able to hold down liquids thank God which helped the fever. But you should have seen the three of us. We were really a sad, sad bunch.

The only good news is, as quick as this plague came upon us, it's gone, and we're all really skinny. I am determined to make this weight loss stick this time though to be honest, nothing rich or fattening really appeals to me at all...I'm fine with brown rice and steamed veggies.

Did I just say that? Holy cow, it's worse than I thought. I wasn't really sick; an alien entered my body. Help! I'm a pod person! Next thing you know, I'm going to be reading the Wall Street Journal, dressing in bright colors, and doing aerobics to seventies disco music.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh.

So let's see. What else do I need to tell you. Oh yeah, for those still reading (both this blog and in general), I got a very nice review of Another Bite of the Apple from the Romance Studio which I seriously think helped in my recovery this week. I am hoping to see Another Bite out in paperback with its brand new, incredibly cool cover out in the near future and of course will be posting the usual billboards across the universe when it does.

And just a reminder that I'm still accepting submissions for 39 and Holding...please don't be shy. The anthology is starting to fill up nicely...I've gotten a few stellar pieces, one from a very well known author, so you know you want to be a part of this incredible anthology, right? Right!

Finally, I know I don't have to remind anyone how much I love Lit Park, but you should really head over there this week...not only is there an interview with fabulous author Amy Wallen, there's also some really funny, funny stuff courtesy of author James Spring and a hilarious trip through Trader Joe's. Make sure you read the comments section for the posts on both Monday and Wednesday -- they alone are worth the price of admission.

What the hell did I just mean by that? Damn if I know. Okay, I'm starting to babble, which means it's time for me to go.

Oh. One final cool thing. I bought Julie a necklace from my new favorite jeweler, Natalie of Pashupatina who I met via the Fabulist, an incredible, incredible site which I was turned on to by...okay, give me a break, I haven't mentioned him in weeks, Neil Gaiman and I am linking his journal because he's had a very interesting dialogue going on this week about librarians and the right wing which is more than a little disturbing. Anyway, getting back to my original comment, when you click on the link for Pashupatina, on the left hand side you'll see another link for "customer photos". Click on that...and have a look at the very first photo you see.

Yes. I know. That is one gorgeous necklace. And one gorgeous daughter.

Later,
xo

Talk, Talk, Talk, It's Only Talk

It's like waking up and getting a Christmas present when these You Tubes appear in my mailbox...this is a shortened version of Adrian Belew, Julie Slick, and Eric Slick performing Elephant Talk at the B.B. King show in New York City, August 8 (to read more about it, here's my blogpost from that event)

So I've had some kind of horrible stomach virus/flu the past two days which naturally I'm convinced is something fatal (but I am seeing the doctor tomorrow morning) so this will be an abbreviated post as I clutch the keyboard to keep the room from spinning.

Damn it, I have a lot to talk about but it appears I really am too sick to type. Crap.

Later,
xo

The Adrian Belew Radio Interview...

The Adrian Belew Power Trio featuring Eric and Julie Slick in Ohio last weekend...photo by Gary Slick

Oh man, if you could see me now, you'd see a weeping (though happy) mess.

Why?

Because here's a radio interview (February 20, 2007) with Adrian Belew following last weekend's show/recording of Side Four Live with my kids:

Adrian speaks

Later,
xo

Odds and Sods for Friday, February 23

Eric Slick, warming up for the Adrian Belew Power Trio show last Saturday

(Photo taken by either Julie or Gary Slick...no one is home for me to ask but I found it in my iPhoto folder this morning so it's one of them. Good job, J or G!)

So tonight Eric heads to New Haven, Connecticut, where he will perform at Cafe Nine with the fabulous Doctor Dark, a Captain Beefheart cover band Eric has been a part of since October, 2005. Yes, I know. I believe that makes at least six bands in which Eric is currently involved - seven if you count what he's doing tomorrow night - a private house party jam with master shredder Brian Davis. Ha ha - I just listened to Brian's MySpace song and to say my son is all over the map musically is putting it mildly. Oh...have I mentioned he's also playing bongos on a side stage at Bonnaroo with a bunch of belly dancers? A lot more on that to follow, as well as some veddy interesting jazz gigs my son has lined up with someone quite well known.

Writing news. If you want to be totally blown away, you must read this story by my good pal, Myfanwy Collins. It's over at one of my favorite 'zines, Juked, and, well, let me make it even easier for you -- here's a direct link to Myf's brilliant flash, entitled Celestial.

Oh my god, that story is so good I'm still smiling an hour after I first read it.

And, I see other friends have been more than a little busy. Ellen Meister has a great interview up at Trashionista - haha - love the name -- and Ellen has also entered the dreaded world of MySpace where, unlike me who has been faltering around that place and has still not been able to master it, she's very, very clever and has created a very cool site and sob...I'm jealous. Nah, just kidding...this blog alone is already eating up enough of my social life and writing time like you would not believe but I figure it's saved me thousands of dollars in psychotherapy so it's been worth it. Just kidding again. Where else can I kvetch about Republicans, tout my brilliant friends' works, and most importantly, have total control/bragging rights/unofficial publicist duties for my kiddies?

(SECTION DELETED)

Later,
xo

Trio on the Tube

So a huge thanks to uber Belew/Slick fan Pete Franke who not only drove a gazillion miles from New Jersey to Newport, Kentucky to see the Adrian Belew Power Trio on Saturday night, he recorded this smoking version of Writing on the Wall and let me tell you, I've been suffering from some sort of horrible "When is winter going to be over because I've had enough of it" depression the last couple of days and this was just what I needed for a good cheering up.

And if that wasn't enough, another fan put up a You Tube of show closer Thela, with the camera focused solely on insane Eric Slick rocking out - albeit on his head and side a lot of the time, but just close your eyes and listen to the music and you won't get seasick...



Ah, what was that Frank Zappa said? Music is the best!

I also found a couple more cool reviews of last week's mini-tour -- this first one really killed me because it was written by Ric Hickey who opened for the trio at the Southgate House on Saturday night:

Once In A Belew Moon



(photo of Les Claypool and Ric Hickey, backstage at Bonnaroo 2006, courtesy of Ric Hickey)

"EDITOR’S NOTE: If you read CityBeat’s music section (and you’re the type of person who pays attention to bylines), you may recognize Ric Hickey, who contributes to our record review section. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know Ric from his fantastic dispatches from festivals like Bonnaroo and Tall Stacks. If you’re a local music fan, then you likely know Ric as an incredible guitarist/singer/songwriter.

Ric got a last-minute call to open for Adrian Belew when the guitar hero and Northern Kentucky native played the Southgate House last Saturday. Ric is a HUGE Belew fan, and the MySpace blog he wrote about the experience of playing the show gives some insight into what it’s like to be a musician opening for one of your heroes. Ric graciously agreed to let us reprint it here. But be sure to go to his MySpace page and check out his tunes (I’m really digging “TWIDDITT” — King Crimson fans take note). He’s playing a free show this Friday in the Southgate House lounge with Belew pal/bandmate (and local Pop/Rock hero) Chris Arduser. Ric’s story starts below:

Well, the Adrian Belew show was in-credible, as I fully expected. First and foremost I want to extend a mountainous dollop of gratitude to John Madden of Magus Productions and Chris Shadler at The Southgate House for inviting me to open the show.

The ballroom filled up almost immediately when the doors opened at 7 p.m. By the time I went on at 8 the place was packed. (These people all paid $30 apiece for their tickets; you don’t have stragglers wandering in at 10:45 when they’ve plunked down that kinda jack for the tickets.) My set was warmly received by a huge crowd of largely unfamiliar faces. Though I was happy to see some old friends there too.

The quick and dirty down-low on my set-list: I opened with three instrumentals, then moved right into what you might call my singer/songwriter-type stuff. All of it seemed to go over pretty good. I couldn’t resist playing at least one Willie Nelson song. I wasn’t planning on playing “Fly Me To The Moon” (indeed, I haven’t played it out in a while), but it went over pretty well at a friend’s birthday soiree Friday night so I figured “what the hell” and ended my set with that.

Adrian’s set was SMOKIN’. I STRONGLY urge you to check out his Web site for more details on what he’s been up to lately and his plans for 2007. I will confess: initially I was dubious about his (new) very young rhythm section. BUT THEY ABSOLUTELY BLEW ME AWAY. 19-year-old Eric Slick on drums was so unbelievably good that I planted myself up on the balcony for the bird’s-eye view from which I could watch him give the drums a good thrashing. Eric’s 22-year-old sister Julie tore UP the bass, even on some really heavy, complicated Tony Levin basslines on King Crimson tunes like “Elephant Talk,” “Three Of A Perfect Pair” and — my favorite, the show closer — “Thela Hun Ginjeet”!!!

Eric flailed wildly away a la Terry Bozzio, and sister Julie — with a giant mop of long brown hair, (looking) super laidback casual in long sundress and bare feet — made some really complex bass parts look EASY. Couple buddies of mine, roughly the same age as me, said “This makes me feel old.” I said, “Fuck that, are you kidding? This makes me feel YOUNG!”

An unexpected highlight of the evening: meeting Eric and Julie’s dad, Gary. Proud papa, smiling ear to ear, snapping pictures throughout the show and introducing himself, shaking hands all around the club.

More highlights? You got it:

1. Getting my picture taken with Adrian after the show. I don’t think he saw/heard my set, and I was a little too geeked/drunk to even attempt to introduce myself as someone he should know. Asked for a picture. Said “Cheese” and “Thanks.” Skulked away, embarrassed! (Pic appearing on MySpace soon!)

2. Reunited with my old buddy Mark Wilkerson who drove up from Louisville to see the show. A dear old friend who I hadn’t seen for maybe 10 or 15 YEARS, Mark is the author of the recently published — and really fucking GREAT — Pete Townshend biography, Amazing Journey: The Life Of Pete Townshend. Much of it is available for reading online here — go check it out RIGHT NOW! It’s awesome!

3. Performing in front of long-time heroes Bob Nyswonger and Rob Fetters in the audience. Rob, in particular, is one of my all-time favorite guitarists, a HUGE influence on me. Running into these guys in a bar, for me, is like stumbling upon Jimi Hendrix or Charles Mingus just walking down the street. I stand in awe of them. Super-humble the both of them, I am proud to call them my friends. The Kings.

4. Countless people approached me after my set with nice things to say and I feel like I made a lotta new friends that night. Ran into quite a few people, in fact, that I hadn’t seen for a while and that also was extremely gratifying. Example: an acquaintance from way back, Jeremy, who I only run into like every few YEARS. Turns out he’s a videographer working for Adrian on this tour and (he) was kind enough to film my performance for me. UnbeLEEvable kindness such as this was extended to me time and time again Saturday night. Made me feel blessed. I am.

5. Adrian singing “Young Lions”! Totally unexpected, hadn’t heard this song in a long-ass time. They nailed it — no, set it ON FIRE — and it seemed particularly appropriate, perhaps even a direct reference to young Eric and Julie.

Thanks to everybody who came to the show, and also to those of you who could not afford the ticket or otherwise had plans but went out of your way to congratulate me on the sweet gig. Indeed. One of the sweetest ever."
*****
Here's another sweet review:

"I saw the Adrian Belew Power Trio In Dayton on Friday and in Cincy (KY actually) on Saturday. I saw them in Springfield a while back (see earlier blog) and they are a fucking great band. Adrian is currently touring the U.S. with his latest band, The Adrian Belew Power Trio, which is rounded out by former Paul Green School of Rock students Eric Slick (19) on drums and Julie Slick (20) on bass. I think Eric is the single best drummer I've ever seen perform live, and the band together pulls off King Crimson songs that are at least as good as the original versions...I hesitate to say better, but man...this band is awesome.

Canal Street is a small club in Dayton. Adrian conked his head on a ceiling hanging speaker as he took the stage. Just a great show.

Drove to the Southgate House in a snow shower. Saw several flipped cars on the way down and began to think I was crazy, but got down there, parked at a meter, caught the show, walked across the street and got a room, then walked to the strip next door and got tore up since I no longer had to drive home.

I'll try to expand on this when I have more time,

Saw G Love at the LC last night. It was good but kinda a let down after the incredible musicianship I saw the 2 previous nights..."
****
Too funny - G Love is also from Philadelphia.

Anyway, that's it for now but you never know with me...as usual, I'm sitting on news but I'm learning not to blab too fast because of the dreaded jinx factor so...

Later,
xo

Bill Werde, My New Hero

Warning: The above You Tube has already been yanked twice by Google for whatever reasons...so it may not be here by the time I post it.

It's been a while since I've gone on a rant against the right wing Republican assholes in this country, but when they start messing with my music...

My good pal, brilliant writer Maryanne Stahl, has an equally brilliant son-in-law, Bill Werde, who is Deputy Editor for Billboard Magazine. She's the one who turned me on to this.

Idiot extraordinaire Bill O'Reilly had Mr. Werde on his radio program to discuss the Dixie Chicks sweep at the Grammys last week, framing the wins as the result of politics and sympathy rather than an acknowledgment of powerful and well-crafted art.

Werde defended the Chicks' sales of over 2 million records (so far) as an achievement while O'Reilly preferred to compare the number to their greatest success to date and note the greatly reduced numbers. Werde persisted in recognizing the achievment, made greater in the face of the withdrawn support of the whole country music industry.

When asked if he had watched the Grammys, O'Reilly said he had, a little, but couldn't take too much of it and segued onto another target, Ludacris, and objectionable language on his winning record. Werde asked him if he had listened to the music on which he was commenting, noting that this latest is a dramatic change in direction for Ludacris. O'Reilly admitted he didn't have a frame of reference to put that into, and Werde asked "Don't you think that's important, to have a frame of reference when you're judging cultural..." Naah, said O'Reilly, I can pull the lyrics and put the lyrics, like I did, on the radio so everyone can hear them, to which Werde replied "that doesn't sound like particularly responsible journalism..." and BAM - O'Reilly was off and running, calling him a snide SOB, and when Werde tried to respond again O'Reilly cut him off - "get him out of here" - and then spent another two minutes ranting about Werde's nerve and Ludacris' offensive language and the culture and and and...

He twisted the words spoken moments earlier, blaming Werde for demeaning O'Reilly's opinion (when he had only questioned the basis for it) and positioning Werde as the one who couldn't have a decent conversation, yet it was O'Reilly who cut him off and called him condescending and a son of a bitch.

Sooo...have a listen to the above posted You Tube and try and keep your breakfast down.

I'll be back this afternoon with hopefully nicer news.