...continued

Jesus Christ, I just ate an entire bag of Almond Joys I bought for trick or treaters. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm hoping it's election anxiety.

Yeah right. I'm an addict, who am I trying to kid. Chocolate does it for me. I need to stay away but I can't. There. I've said it. The first step. Which is as far as I'm going, because I'm not giving it up.

So anyway, now that I'm bouncing off the walls on a crazed sugar high, I have in fact decided to use this blog as a vehicle for my 50,000 word novel in thirty days starting November l, which of course is the NanoWrimo thing. (www.nanowrimo.org). This is an appalling decision, I know. Because what it means is that I'm going to post 1,667 words a day of totally unedited crap. It's worse than being naked in Bloomingdale's window at forty years old and covered in cellulite. I also know I should probably get a separate blog for this project. But I am a lazy technology challenged person who is having enough trouble trying to figure out one blog let alone juggling two. So that's my reasoning there. And to make matters worse, I'll probably continue to post whiny daily entries as well because even though I worry about using this blog as my own personal psychiatrist in my post below, I'm realizing that this is far, far better than any so-called traditional therapy. So anyone reading this will not only get to read the novel in progress, they'll get to read me moaning and groaning about it. I'd better not look at the site meter because I have a feeling that could get pretty depressing. I still haven't figured out how to upload art to this thing, either, damn it, but I'm hoping my son will show me tomorrow since he's the computer geek in the house.

Ugh, I just realized tonight we turn back the clocks. I truly, truly hate that. It's pitch dark out when I leave work at 5:00 p.m. and it makes me feel like I've been working 24 hours. I don't understand why we don't just stay at daylight saving time, but I don't understand a lot of things these days. No wonder I just want to hide behind a computer screen. As you can imagine, I'm terrified by the election this Tuesday. Four years ago, when that snarky dolt stole the election, I pulled the covers up over my head and didn't get out of bed for almost a week. I'm deadly serious. I'm afraid to say anything more about it at this point because my emotions are running really high. If I hear "Ah'm George Dubya Bush and Ah approve this message" one more time I will puke. For real.

A really brilliant friend of mine assures me Kerry will win because he has the same initials as JFK. I laughed but he wasn't kidding. He told me not to worry. Okay. I'll try.

Anyway...

With the house to myself, normally I would be writing today but since I know I'm starting the novel November 1, I've decided to just have kind of a lost weekend as a reward. Yeah, some people do it with booze, apparently I've decided chocolate. But I am going to read a manuscript by a friend of mine which so far is blowing me away... so much so that I'm wondering to myself why I even bother to write...and then maybe use the On Demand feature on Comcast Cable to order up some episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Sometimes you just need to laugh. Especially when you feel the complete opposite.