Sunday, November 11, 2007

Bitten to the Core

The girl in the above sketch is smiling. I am not. But it was the best I could come up with.

God, Bitten to the Core is a great name for my new novel in so many ways, but it's literally the way I feel after the marathon writing session that is National Novel Writing Month. Okay, so as of this morning, I have 14,600 words, and the whole sorry first draft in progress is up on their site right here...and normally 14,600 words since November 1, 2007 would be most impressive except for the fact that...arghhh...if I want to keep pace I need 20,000 words by the time I go to bed tonight.

ETA: Yes! As of 4:45 p.m., I have 16,800 words! Yay me!

ETA #2: Make that 18,136 words at 7:38 p.m. I'm blind! Help me! (I can't freaking believe I'm doing this. I blame Susan Henderson at Lit Park. If so many other Lit Parkers weren't doing this, I'd probably have given up by now but personal pride, man, it's is my competitive streak. I don't dare fail now. Okay, back to my original blog post of this morning, which is not all that true anymore -- I think I've figured out my plot! Yay!

Wait: ETA #3 - 18,383 at 9:10 p.m., which, by my calculations, puts me right on track. Which is good because I can't type another word. But yeah, today is November 11, and I'm supposed to be hitting 1,666 words a day. So 1,666 x 11 = 18,326. Which makes me 57 words ahead. Oh god, I'm going to get very drunk now. Just in time for Julie and Eric to arrive home and see their mom turn into total mush brain. But oh do I have a good excuse! Damn I feel good right now, even without the alcohol. I freaking did it!

This would be a piece of cake for me normally IF I HAD ANY FUCKING IDEA OF WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS PLOT...sorry...I scream when I'm frustrated. So I woke up early to brainstorm, Gary won't be awake until noon, Julie and Eric are still in Nashville and their flight home doesn't arrive until 9:00 p.m. tonight, so there is absolutely no reason I should be staring at the page right now totally clueless.

Okay, I do know what I want, it's just a matter of making it funny as opposed to offensive, which is a fine line when you are writing erotica, and who in their right mind attempts comedic erotica? I managed to do it in Three Days and Another Bite but for this third book in the series, it's hard to keep the character fresh and funny and not jaded by all of her "experiences"...and here's the kicker...I have to somehow think up a plan for our two lovers in question to be in a slapstick situation with a bunch of busybody church ladies. See what I mean about crossing that politically correct line? Hmmm, that's the wrong word to use. I could give two fucks if I'm politically correct...what I need is to make it believable and laugh out loud funny.

I guess the idea of a dungeon in the church basement complete with chains, shackles, and whips where they kidnap our heroine and hero and torture them in, um, unusual ways won't work, huh. Though I should warn you I have not completely given up on that idea...

Oh I'm kidding. At least I hope I'm kidding. Because if I can't come up with anything else...argh...

So while I sit at my computer all miserable and frustrated and searching, searching, searching, I figured I'd do a warm up exercise by coming back to my absolute favorite place to write -- i.e., this blog. And excuse all of the f notes I'm hurling here but I get emotional when I'm blocked, which isn't often thank God. (Being blocked that is....I obviously get emotional all the time, but it's usually in a good way)

Anyway, in much better news, I talked to Eric yesterday and they are having an amazing, amazing time at Adrian's house down in Nashville. Yesterday they recorded yet another brand new masterpiece and Eric sounded excited beyond belief. Both Julie and Eric are writing their own parts to certain songs and they are swooning over that. By the way, Gary and I played Side Four Live (yet again har har) yesterday and you should hear what those two little tricksters pulled in the live version of the song "Madness"...let's just say it's an awesome tribute to Robert Fripp. Gary was at that club in Kentucky when Side Four Live was recorded earlier this year, and he told me that when they launched into it on drums and bass about halfway through, Adrian turned to them in shocked delight and smiled ear to ear because they totally surprised him. So I hate to tease you all like that with the CD not being available for pre-order until next Tuesday, but you heard it here first...listen very closely during Madness. Actually, that would be "A Little Madness" as it's been renamed on Side Four Live. (Speaking of Robert Fripp, thank you, sir, for making me smile in delight at your diary entry of today, where you call the ABPT "The Adrian Belew Trio Of Power, Wonderment & Bliss Arising". You made my day -- and those photos of New York, etc. were awesome but the accompanying commentary had me laughing out loud)

Also, I'm hoping Ade posts a photo, but last night they all went to dinner at a friend of Ade and Martha...and I may be getting this wrong so I will have to check with Eric later and come in and correct this post if I am...but I believe they also dined with him Friday night at J. Alexander's...or, they may have run into him and then made plans for last night, I'm not sure. Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is that having met him Friday night, they wanted to bring him and his wife, a brilliant artist (gah! I really hope I'm not screwing this story totally up) gifts of art when they went to dinner at their home last evening. So Ade and Eric took a drumhead and did wild things to it with spray paint. Eric said it's so incredible, I have to see it. So that's why I'm hoping they took a photo and Ade posts it in his blog. And what did Julie contribute to this plan? I am so freaking jealous. She made her famous key lime pie, which I am also hoping Ade took a photo of, though knowing Julie, she insisted.

You haven't experienced true nirvana until you have had a slice of Julie's key lime pie. And she is correct, it is a true work of art.

(Julie? You are baking that for Thanksgiving dinner this year, right? Right? Right?)

Anyway, okay, my fingers are nimble, I've had two cups of's time to return to my trainwreck...I mean...novel in progress.

Now. What to do with that bunch of angry church ladies....