Friday, June 17, 2005

Queer Eye meets Rock School; also news on a Monkee and a Monkeybicyle

Yes, it's true. A small group of Rock School All-Stars and Hall of Famers, namely, my son Eric and daughter Julie, Teddi Tarnoff, Madison Flego, Stevie Roberts, and C.J. Tywoniak were in New York City last night to play a gig for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy which will be seen later this year on the Bravo Network. The show's makeover contestant was someone from Donald Trump's Apprentice.

Anyway, the kids had an absolute blast; a representative from Gibson Guitars was there and laid all kinds of cool equipment on them including a silver Les Paul; they also got incredible goody bags which contained everything from cookbooks to CDs to poetry books to exotic lavender laundry detergent in a wine bottle; the fellows from Queer Eye were super nice and friendly to Julie, Eric and company and heaped loads of praise on them for their performance (Black Magic Woman, You Really Got Me, and Barracuda); and here's the best part that totally cracked me up: At the end of the evening, the producer for Queer Eye approached Eric with her business card -- apparently she wants him to be the next makeover candidate for the show. Ha! Like Eric would let anyone touch his shoulder length hair or fuck with his nifty thrift store seventies' wardrobe. Not to mention that my son is far too hip for a T.V. show -- he's more excited about playing with Chris Opperman (Steve Vai's keyboardist) and Andre from Project Object at the Lion's Den in NYC on July 9 and of course I'll be talking about that a lot more as the gig draws closer.

In attendance at the star-studded show was none other than --

No, no, not Sir Paul, but Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees! Ha!

And while I'm on the subject of Monkeys, I have a one sentence story, which, if you know me, is damn near impossible so it's more like a one sentence novella, in this week's edition of Monkeybicycle.
I have lusted after being in Monkeybicyle for two years so I am now vindicated and very happy - it's one of my favorite 'zines. Now. To crack into Eyeshot. Hahahaha - no chance of that; Lee (the editor) hates my writing and once threatened to beat me up and I'm not sure he was kidding. Man, they have a really jerked off way of letting you know your work is rejected. Instead of a standard form letter or the contemptible but becoming more and more common practice of ignoring submissions they don't like altogether (meaning, editors from other magazines who shall remain nameless) Lee sends you an email with a link with your story in the subject line. So, if you are like me and tend to get overly optimistic, you think you're going to click on the link and see your story posted in Eyeshot. Wrong. The link takes you to an obnoxious rejection letter. So I'll never submit to him again, and I hope some day I have a best seller and he asks me for something so I can say Screw you, fuckwit. (as if - meaning, I am probably the biggest wimp in the universe. But in theory...)

Anyway, that's the news for now. Happy Friday!