Day 72

Day 72, self quarantine:

Ah, yes, the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend, also known as “Welcome back to the real world” day.  

Whatever that is in apocalypse land.

All I know is, all things considered, I’d rather be at the beach today.

We had the most insanely productive weekend, though.  It was pretty amazing.   Okay, I’m not gonna lie, Saturday was a bust because it rained super heavy and our roof leaked and I pitched a fit when Gary insisted on climbing an aluminum ladder in the middle of the storm to check it out because excuse me, I don’t want him to kill himself and HOW DID HE PLAN TO FIX IT WHILE IT WAS RAINING?

Arghhh we are so getting a new roof.

So yeah that was Saturday but we put it behind us and by Monday afternoon we accomplished so much we were giddy.

Gary is in his groove when he’s around plants.  He was so freaking happy playing in the dirt yesterday.  

He’s not done yet so here’s a pic in progress.

So what I’ve been hoping during this entire quarantine and especially since Gary’s unexpected retirement in April is happening.  He’s got a project he’s really into and excited about, I can go upstairs to work today and not worry he’s staring blankly at the television all day.

It’s going to be eighty degrees and sunny.  He told me he’s going to be outside working in both the yard and front of the house.

Wah, I want to do that, too!  I’m jealous!

Oh, well.  I wasn’t jealous when he watched television all day - I can’t have it both ways, huh.

Meanwhile, speaking of television- this quarantine has affected my secret-from-Gary guilty pleasure degenerate tv watching like you would not believe.  There’s only five more episodes of Top Chef! Where’s all my shows that come out in the spring and early summer to fill my lonely predawn hours when Top Chef ends?  Where’s MasterChef?  Where’s Best Baker in America?  Where’s Chopped Sweets?  Ffs, where’s MasterChefJr.?  I’m desperate!

You know I googled it.

The guys at Google are laughing their asses off.

“Look at this old broad in Philadelphia who keeps asking daily Why isn’t MasterChef on tv this year? like America hasn’t been shut down for three months and there’s not 100,000 Americans dead in a pandemic.”

Listen, if any of you ever talk to Gary, you cannot tell him I watch MasterChef.  He loathes Gordon Ramsey and will never let me live it down and he’d be right.

I don’t know why food competition shows are my crack, there’s clearly something wrong with me.

It’s why I sneak them at 4:00 a.m.

Haha I used to do that with drugs.

Oh wait, that was all day 😎

Anyway, it turns out the pandemic has messed with all of my shows except...sigh...MasterChef, Jr. which was already in the can before quarantine and instead of airing from March to June like they always do, Fox is holding it until September because they have nothing else to air in the new season.

Thanks a lot, apocalypse.

Google finally told me this after I checked daily for days and oh, cool, now google and the government think I’m a weirdo for obsessing about a cooking show for pre-teens.

Do not tell Gary this, either.

I used to have such better secrets.  What the hell happened?

Oh, yeah.  I got old.

Thank God.

Day 71



Day 71, self quarantine:

Welcome to Memorial Day, the apocalypse edition.

I still can’t believe any of this.

So here at Casa Slick, we have a magical thing going on. We’re always rewarded in some way when we clean.

Sometimes I might find something amazing.  Maybe it’s an earring I thought was lost forever, maybe it’s a Polaroid photo of Julie and Eric from 1990, or maybe it’s my first publication acceptance letter - written by the magazine editor in longhand.

Once we went to Atlantic City for dinner following a major hardcore  spring  cleaning and I walked past the slots, put in a couple of quarters for the hell of it, and won $300.00.

I don’t even play slots.

Oh god, I just had a memory I haven’t had in years.  I used to play blackjack and count cards.  This was before Julie and Eric were born.  I never got caught because I sucked at it.  But oh god did I think I was cool sitting there at the table with my vodka martini acting like I knew what the hell I was doing.

Holy moly how many lives have I had?

Haha now I’m apocalypse woman, watching the world go by in my pajama pants.

I’ll take it. 

Anyway, back to the story. Yesterday my gift for working in the backyard came via my Facebook friends talking to me about painted rocks.

It sent me down the most glorious rabbit hole.

I’m now obsessed and you have no idea how much I needed it.

I love to paint but stopped years ago and now I don’t even have any art supplies.  I think about it a lot guiltily but I don’t have the light or space to work on anything large and worse, I don’t have any inspiration. But rocks...this is so doable and with two incredibly talented artist kids, I now have a ready answer for “what do you want for your birthday/Christmas?” too.

I don’t really need instruction but I found a book of painted rock ideas I thought I’d share.

https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=FjPWDQAAQBAJ&hl=en_US&pg=GBS.PA1

I think having a section of painted rocks in my backyard is going to be beyond perfect under the fairy lights.

So now in addition to writing a new book during quarantine, I’m going to embark on a major rock painting project.

I just ordered a buttload of paint and other supplies.

Now.  Where the hell do I find rocks?

Omg, are Gary and I going to have to go rock collecting somewhere?  Is there a place near downtown Philadelphia? Hahaha how did I not think of this?

And if I find them, can I just take them?

Hang on, Google is my friend.

Holy cow, you buy them?  Are you kidding me?

https://www.amazon.com/Rock-Canvas-Painting-Rocks-Kindness/dp/B07F24L73J

Huh.  This idea is getting better by the minute.

And I know I can probably find them cheaper and in assorted shapes.  Ew, how creepy to have rocks all the same size and shape.

Yeah, I know these will be easier to paint, but I think real rocks are much cooler and I at least need to use some.  I clearly have to take Gary on a rock collecting expedition.

Wait’ll I tell him.

So I know I said I wasn’t going to look yet but I found these crazy outdoor  chairs in electric violet and teal blue but no, no, I won’t buy them until we’re ready.  

This yard is going to rock.

Haha, get it?

See why I love this down time, though?  All I want to do is make art and do positive things 

And I know I’m not alone.

Sigh...

If only this deadly virus wasn’t out there lurking.

If only there weren’t breathtakingly stupid imbeciles out there not social distancing or wearing masks and yapping this is a government conspiracy taking away their “freedom.”

What a crazy, crazy time.

In other news, we made astonishing progress in the yard yesterday.  We’re still filling trash bags with leaves and stuff and my friend Aileen has to come by and get the bicycles (how’s Wednesday?) but oh am I going to have a much better pic next week!  

Not only that, we swung by the hardware store and bought plants.  We ran out of steam to install them in the window boxes but that will be tomorrow.  I’m laughing because the plants are Gary’s thing.  If it were up to me, I’d probably hire someone and we’d have a tasteful color scheme interspersed with lots of greenery.

Gary literally buys one of everything.  Purple, yellow, red, orange - he loves an explosion of different hues and types and he nixes anything that doesn’t bloom in neon rainbows.

I adore how it turns out and it occurs to me it goes along with my thoughts about not wanting rocks all the same size and texture.

I’ll post a pic tomorrow when he’s done.

So what else...hmm...we’re not having a typical Memorial Day dinner tonight...unless we lived in Italy, I guess.  Gary made fresh pesto last night and it smelled so damn good we both said at the same time we had to have it for dinner so we’re having pasta, greens and potatoes with pesto which is freaking unbelievable:

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/6078-pasta-green-beans-and-potatoes-with-pesto

This is a pretty informative post today, huh.

Okay, I’ll stop.

Time to watch my taped Food Network shows and get my moments of zen in before Gary wakes up.

Omg, Top Chef.  It’s so obvious to me Kevin Gillespie and Bryan Voltaggio are the two finalists but I’m wrong every year so don’t listen to me.

I like Bryan’s laugh but I’m Team Melissa all the way, though I am also a big Gregory fan and would love for him to win, too.

I am so not a Kevin fan.

And now I sound like a total dork.

Okay, I’m outta here.

Happy Memorial Day!