Ooh ooh, one quick note....

I'm Mistress of the List this week at Phaze Books, meaning, you can chat with me all week via the Yahoo Phaze Group discussion board. Please follow the link and feel free to ask me anything...hahahaha..within reason, that is.

Hmm..I just realized that by following the above link, you still need to register for Yahoo Groups if you aren't already a member. Here's the link to Phaze Books. Scroll down and you'll see the Phaze Discussion List link. (There are two links, one is Phaze Announcements, the other is the Discussion List which is where you'll find me this week). We do not kill you with 100 emails a day but if you join and don't want to receive emails with all of our posts, you're given the option at Yahoo to just be able to view the message board so I suggest you handle it that way if you don't want to hear from us all via your mailbox.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yay!

Well, what can I say? THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!

This week is just too exciting for me. A foot of snow over the weekend, the Eagles in the Super Bowl, Friday brings Julie's annual birthday lunch at Le Bec Fin, a five star French restaurant (more on that later in the week) and of course as previously posted, Friday night Eric's got the big gig opening for Tony Levin and the California Guitar Trio.

Only bummer is Thursday I have jury duty. How that happens I have no idea. I've worked in a lawfirm for over two decades and doh, do you think I'm prejudiced and would not be a fair juror? Err...duh. First of all, I know probably 90% of all attorneys in Philadelphia. Secondly, if I was assigned a personal injury case, of course I'm going to be in full favor of the Plaintiff since I've been a Plaintiff's paralegal all of these years; if I'm assigned a criminal case, well, everyone knows I'm a bleeding heart liberal...in any event, they of course never pick me but they won't let me leave, either; I have to sit there all day, bored to tears, after which they hand me an $11.00 check for my time. The worst is first thing in the morning when we get all these forms to fill out to determine our eligibility and to allegedly "learn a little" about us. Half the people assigned along with me will be illiterate so they make us watch a step by step film on how to properly fill out the form.

(1) Put your name on line one.
(2) Put your address on line two.

And this goes on for 100 questions. By the time they get to #15 I'm ready to start screaming and banging my head repeatedly on the desk.

But I do like when they get to the meatier questions: Do you have any religious reasons which would keep you from serving?

Yeah, if I swear on a Bible it means nothing because I'm an agnostic.

Heh...how about radical political beliefs?

Why, yes. I'd like to see every Republican boiled in acid.

Oh well, screw it. THE EAGLES ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL.

Oh, one more funny story about that. Remember last week, I made fun of all those stupid rubber band bracelets people are wearing - red ones for Republicans, blue ones for Democrats, yellow ones to support Lance Armstrong's foundation?

Ugh. I'm wearing a green Eagles one. Okay, the money went to charity a la Lance Armstrong. My whole family is sporting them, even Eric and my "son in law", Matt. And now we have to wear them for the next two weeks, until the Super Bowl.

Oh god. I'm such a fucking dork.

Please join me tonight!

I will be chatting tonight, along with my other partners in crime at Phaze Books, at The Romance Studio from 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. eastern.

C'mon. You know you can't resist hanging out with me for an hour. And you know you're dying to buy and read my book, right? I'll even autograph it...buy you chocolate...you name it.

I'm on my knees here...does that help?

Today's news...

That's Tony Levin, formerly of YES and King Crimson, and the California Guitar Trio, featuring Pat Mastelotto also of King Crimson.

In case you're not a complete music nut/historian like I am, here's a link to all of the bands with whom Tony Levin has played/recorded.

So why am I posting this?

BECAUSE MY SON ERIC IS OPENING FOR HIM AND THE GUITAR TRIO NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT!

Oh god, I'm so freaked out. And there's a Meet and Greet the Band party before the concert so be prepared for a ton of personal Slick photos shortly thereafter. Eric will be playing three King Crimson songs in tribute: 21st Century Schizoid Man, Indiscipline, and Elephant Talk. With Eric will be Louie, my adopted son(YAY), Julia, CJ, and Kenny Liu (all from The Tour) on guitars and my daughter's boyfriend Matt will be on bass...how cool is that. Eric is constantly compared to Bill Bruford on drums, when he's not being compared to Ginger Baker and Keith Moon that is. Of course he's got the whole jazz thing going on as well, which is what makes him stand out from the crowd. For those who don't know, Bill Bruford is the former drummer of King Crimson and YES.

What's really wild is that I found out via Google that Tony Levin keeps a daily blog on his tour experiences, and if I read about my son next week I may be impossible to live with. Okay, I'm already impossible to live with...I just mean the whole motherly bragging thing may get a little obnoxious and out of hand, but oh well, too fucking bad.

As for daughter Julie, while she won't be playing bass on this gig, she'll be recording it. (Well, her brother, not Tony Levin. Somehow I don't think that will be allowed). Her career as recording engineer is really taking off though of course she's still actively pursuing her band as well and things are really coming together in that regard...more on that later. I'm hoping to be able to post some MP3s in the near future.

In other news -- we're expecting up to fifteen inches of snow today in Philadelphia. That just doesn't happen here. Between the news of Eric's concert next week and the snow, I may die of excitement.

And of course there's the Tall Poppy cocktail party going on all weekend. Tonight I shall attend as the Ice Queen. (yeah right...hahahahaha - as if. More like the naked, intoxicated snow woman...hmmm...now that's an idea. Maybe later today I'll go out and build me some interesting snow people and freak out the yuppies on the block)

And as if this isn't enough, tomorrow is the NFC Championship game with the Philadelphia Eagles having a bona fide chance to make it into the Super Bowl. Wait... no more talk about that. Don't want to jinx them.

Ahhhhh....life is good.

I went to bed a Robin and woke up a Poppy....

So apparently, the Aussie word for a "high achieving woman" is a Tall Poppy and my nomination as Best New Blog of 2004 has qualified me for a membership in their club and attendance at a huge gala affair as evidenced by the post in the comments section in my TUMS and Vodka rant below.

Hahahaha - I knew I was high, but high achieving? Well, okay, I'm willing to play make believe. Anyone who really knows me is well aware I live in fantasy world, so this is a perfect fit. I've given myself the rather uninspired name of "writer poppy" which hopefully will appear on their site later. Update: I've just asked them to change it to "psychotic writer poppy".

But oh dear, it appears I will need both formal attire and a date with whom to stroll down the red carpet. This is going to take some thought. I mean, obviously I will wear something black and clingy with a plunging neckline, but who do I want on my arm? I mean, should it be someone I actually know or since this is cyberdreamworld, can it be like, JD Salinger? (Though if you've read author Joyce Maynard's autobiography, he's not a great lover so forget it!) Can I bring back someone from the dead like, say, John Lennon or George Harrison? Hmmm...anyway, so you don't think I've totally lost my mind, here's the link: Tall Poppy Diaries

Grasping for TUMS, vodka....anything to ease the pain

Yes, cowboy boots with the Presidential seal.

This is what Dubya will be wearing with his tuxedo at his inauguration festivities.

The hell with TUMS and vodka, it's too late. Pass me the puke bucket please.

The only good news is, he's got the lowest approval rating of any President about to be sworn in.

THEN HOW THE HELL DID HE GET RE-ELECTED?

Can you say...theft? Fraud? Brother Jeb in Florida? Brainwashed trailer park mentality in the US of A? The filthy rich I don't give a shit about anything but myself and my money part of the population? Or the poor, elderly Americans he scared into voting for him because only He (ha) can protect us against the terrorists...said elderly who will soon see their Social Security and Medicare benefits cut despite his empty campaign promises to the contrary.

Oh, and I read the list of entertainers performing at these heinous inaugural events. Of course Ted Nugent, whom I already hated for his music (pardon me, that's not music, what was I thinking), pro-hunting stance and his right wing political views, will be on stage along with ZZ Top. I used to like ZZ Top. Somewhat, anyway, at least their early albums. Well, add them to my list of FUCKWITS TO WHOM I WILL NEVER LISTEN AGAIN.

Okay, it's been years since I listened to anything by ZZ Top but this seals the deal.

Lyle Lovett will also be performing but he's such a non-entity to me I wasn't even going to mention it. But I read his former wife, the brainless "look at my smile I practiced it in front of the mirror for thirty years and it's all I know how to do in every movie I'm in" Julia Roberts, is close friends with Donald Rumsfield and just bought some real estate from him - apparently they're neighbors on adjoining ranches.

Yee-haw, I'm just so fucking proud to be an American.

Gag.

REMINDER: TODAY IS BLACK THURSDAY. PLEASE SEE MY POST BELOW (OR TWO POSTS BELOW, WHATEVER) AND AT LEAST TRY TO PARTIALLY COMPLY IN PROTEST! AT THE VERY LEAST, WRITE TO YOUR CONGRESSMEN!

Armageddon

Today's headlines courtesy of Yahoo and Netscape news:

(1)High Court Asked to Overturn Roe v Wade.

I can't even talk about this right now but trust me, I will at a later date.

Next headline on Netscape earlier today....
(2) Who Cares about the President at his Inauguration, See what Jenna and Barbara will be Wearing!

Err..I'm more interested in what they will be drinking and snorting. Oh please oh please let them disobey Daddy and misbehave. I can just see that smarmy smirk. "Well, they're chips off the old block, what can I say?"

And finally...courtesy of AP News, Netscape, Yahoo, Reuters, you name it:
(3) F-bomb explodes at inauguration bash.

Regarding #3, maybe you were as excited as I was when you first read it...thinking...what, a security breach...did someone attack a Republican? But nooo...scandal has erupted in Washington after Brett Scallions, lead singer for the otherwise dull modern rock band Fuel, dared to swear during an inaugural celebration hosted by first daughters Jenna and Barbara Bush (a pair who surely never use foul language) last night (January 18). During Fuel's set, Scallion, obviously overcome with excitement, yelped "Welcome to the greatest fucking country in the world!"

Gee, I'm sure sad I missed that concert. Also on the bill was Hillary Duff.

"Luckily, the President, who is apparently far too fragile to withstand off-colour language, was not yet in the building when Fuel played their set. He did, however, reportedly say that he thought Hilary Duff was "fantastic"...

And tomorrow, Mr. Far Too Fragile gets sworn into office for another four years.

Do you see what I mean? Armageddon.

I got nothing...

Yep, I got nothing. No news, either exciting or otherwise; I've been working on the sequel to Three Days in New York City and some short stories so I haven't been in "gossip" mode.

Funny story, though. I was trawling Google images for a pic to go with "I've got nothing" and found the above, which is a two song CD by Iggy and The Stooges. The tracks are "I Got Nothing" and, err, "Cock In My Pocket".

Well, yeah, if you have a cock in your pocket instead of where it belongs, then man, you really do have nothing. Unless of course it reaches all the way...oh god, never mind, I'm in no condition to go there right now.

Bleh. My weak attempt at humor at 6:03 a.m. on one cup of coffee.

So I'm bugged because I can't take my own advice about Black Thursday - having missed last week with the flu, I'm not about to call in sick in protest, but I will wear a black arm band. There was a whole movement before the election that we should wear red on Friday to protest the President, but since I now associate red with Republicans and winning states and I never looked good in that color anyway, forget it. I see a bunch of people are now sporting those blue bracelets a la the yellow Lance Armstrong ones which signify you are a blue state voter or at least a Democrat, but have I mentioned how much I fucking hate fads? I'll wear the black arm band on Thursday as my own private protest to make myself feel better. Not that I own a black arm band...I guess I'll tie a black scarf around my forearm which is sure to bring snarky comments from the lawyers in the office...yikes...forget it...I'll just skip it and walk around miserable all day.

See how I'm rambling here? I told you I got nothing.

Next week, though, I will be hosting a chat every day via my publisher's website, but I'll give more info on that as the time approaches. And it will be more like every night as opposed to morning or afternoon. Somehow I don't think my boss will take kindly to my hanging in a chat room all day in an effort to sell my book so I can quit my job and write full time.

Ha! There I go living in fantasy world again.

BLACK THURSDAY

The Idea Is Simple.
Just Like The President.

This January 20th:
- Call in sick to work
- Don't buy anything
...and write to your newspaper, your
senator and your representative
to tell them why.

Here's the link for more info: BLACK THURSDAY.

HAVE I MENTIONED I HATE REPUBLICANS?

My freaking life...

Yes, that is a broken pipe.

Sooo...today is a national holiday for Martin Luther King's birthday but I was out of work all last week with the flu so I'm at the office.

About two hours ago, we got an evacuate the building notice, which usually means a false alarm or a toaster fire where some idiot forgot they had a bagel cooking, but when we called downstairs, they told us Don't worry, it's just a pipe which burst.

Couple of things about that. One, when we get that notice to evacuate, strobe lights go off continuously, the biggest of which is right over my desk. I feel like I'm in a nightclub during the disco years (or in my parents' basement during the pot smoking years). I've had this thing blinking in my left eye since 11:00 a.m.

Two, a broken pipe means no toilets or running water. So even if you use the ladies room and don't flush like some of the morons here are doing, you can't wash your hands afterwards.

As for me, well, there's a four star hotel a few doors down from my office, The Bellevue, and I found a lovely ladies' room on the 13th floor with scented soaps and everything, including a woman sitting there who expects a tip everytime you pee. (Yes, I'm well aware there's a great joke waiting to be told as concerns that last remark but I can't think of it so feel free to post one in comments if anyone reading this is so inspired.) Round trip back and forth to the hotel only takes about 10-15 minutes and costs $2.00 per tinkle. Ha.

Except for the fact that it's like twenty below zero outside and I drank an entire pot of coffee this morning...ARGHHH...and oh god, I just realized there's asparagus in my lunch salad.

WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY SEND US HOME?