I need a better title than Retirement Chronicles

 

I am not naming names, this is not an official Top Chef spoiler, but it is kinda so here’s your warning if you’re planning to watch it later.

I can’t fucking believe a series in which I invested three months of my life and really had a spectacular finale now has to deal with a disgraced winner who might end up disqualified and losing the title of Top Chef…if there’s even such a thing in reality television world.

Gah!  That will teach me.  

I’m going back to listening to music 24/7.

But I was so shook up by it all yesterday that last night I had not one but two ridiculous nightmares right in a row and I’m sitting here now still shaking.

As I may have mentioned, I’m flying to Seattle on Tuesday morning to spend ten days with Julie.

In nightmare #1, I arrived at the airport without any luggage.  I also left Gary without any instructions, like things he can do to keep busy while I’m gone and a refresher course in how to FaceTime with the iPad I got him for Christmas.

I was frantic but I was escorted onto the plane anyway by two security guards even though I told them repeatedly I couldn’t go without a suitcase.

I woke up at that point, went to the bathroom congratulating myself for just being nuts and not in Seattle without a change of clothes, went back to bed, and promptly had nightmare #2.

In the second half of this double feature, Gary and I sold our house.  We were sitting in a room somewhere with money in…yep, a suitcase…and we had $500,000 which we kept trying unsuccessfully to count.

It suddenly dawned on me that we were now homeless and the way we spent money, we’d burn through this pile of dough in a couple years.

I couldn’t believe we did anything that stupid.

Luckily I woke up before I had a stroke.

So no clue why that happened, my subconscious clearly has issues, but I am beyond ecstatic to be going to Seattle Tuesday morning and joyously forging ahead with my plans.

But JFC, one of the reasons I wasn’t freaked out about getting older was that I thought I would finally be comfortable in my own skin and have zero fucks to give about anything.

Yeah, right.

I would dive in here and tell you what it’s really like getting older but I’ve been told it’s been done many times before.

Anyway…

Today feels like an eating day so it’s French fries for dinner tonight with maybe a Jersey tomato and mayonnaise sandwich on milk bread.

I know how to live.

Actually, as I sit here, I know we have all kinds of fresh berries in the house. Gary won’t be up for a few hours.  I’m gonna go bake a breakfast dump cake.

Ever make one?  Three ingredients, totally unhealthy except for the berries, and shockingly delicious if you don’t care about calories or ingesting chemicals.

Haha, works for me.

Happy Saturday!