Ho ho ho

The above are known as Monty Python Rabbit with Pointy Teeth Slippers.

"The bunny slipper just got a bit bloodier with this pointy-toothed carnivore of a rabbit whose massive choppers do little to diminish his cuddly cuteness. But don't let the puffy tail and floppy ears fool you. Put your foot in the wrong end of this guy and you can expect to lose that foot, buster."

No, no, I did not write that advertisement -- it's how it appears in the Urban Outfitters catalogue. Yes, Urban Outfitters, the store I love to trash because of its customer base made up of clueless, trying oh so hard to be hip wannabes, but okay, I admit it...I want those damn slippers and I want them bad.

Family, etc., if you are reading this, you cannot buy them at Urban, they are a dot com special only, and they are one size fits all so you don't even have to bother asking me my shoe size, and even better, I'm going to provide you with a link to buy them right here.

However, if you are feeling more flush, what I really want is a vintage 52 Waterman fountain pen with a flex nib. Of course I am just being a frightful bore because yeah, yeah, Neil Gaiman writes with one of those -- he even writes his books in longhand with one for fuck's sake -- so now naturally I want one, too. Only my books don't sell millions like Neil's do so when I first saw the price of this pen, I stuck out my lower lip and pouted because I can't afford it or let's just say someone who isn't currently working should not be spending so much money on a pen.

But I want it. I want to write my books longhand in fountain pen, too, and after researching, well, nothing will do but a Waterman 52.

So I went on ebay and found some.

Ahem. Family? Friends? Anyone?

Hahahaha - here's what one looks like:



And here's where you can buy it cheaply.

Oh man, you know it's bad if I'm posting pleas for my own presents, but I'm kind of down right now and I can't shake it. I guess I'm excited for Eric but worried at the same time; Julie's so busy I hardly ever see her, and I just got an email from Rock School announcing the winter All-Stars tour and for the first time since Rock School has existed, neither one of my kids will be a part of anything. Well, that's not entirely true, there is a New Years' matinee at The Troc on December 31, 2005 at 2:00 p.m. which will include local bands, and Julie is in Sweatheart, so hopefully I'll be able to attend and see some...sob...old friends.

But hey, in case anyone is reading this outside the Philadelphia area, let me post the itinerary for the new School of Rock All-Star tours, because even though Julie and Eric have graduated the program, this is one hell of a group of talented kids and it's a great family event to attend, especially during the week between Christmas and New Years.

Actually, I'll just post the entire email I received from Paul so you understand it all:
************
There are new All-Stars, 2 groups of them (hence our ability to be in Chicago and Charlottesville on the same day), drawn from our 7 East Coast Schools. They are young, hungry, and awesome. Anyone who has seen one of our All-Star shows knows that these kids ain't no joke, and that the audience is in for a hell of a show.

So please: if you will be in one of these locations, please join us. If you know people in, say, Falls River MA, please tell them to come. And forward this to anyone you feel comfortable doing so.

Thank You.
PG

Tour Info
http://www.schoolofrock.com/allstars.htm

SUNDAY DECEMBER 18TH
*Trenton NJ: The Conduit

MONDAY DECEMBER 26TH
*New Yok City: BB King's
*Falls River MA: Narrows Center for the Arts

TUESDAY DECEMBER 27TH
*Pittsburgh PA: Club Cafe
*Burlington VT: Higher Ground

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 28TH
*Cleveland OH: House of Blues, 1pm Matinee
*Teaneck NJ: Mexicali Blues

THURSDAY DECEMBER 29TH
*Chicago IL: Martyrs
*Charlottesville VA: Starr Hill

FRIDAY DECEMBER 30TH
*Columbus OH: Little Brothers
*Virginia Beach VA: The Jewish Mother

SATURDAY DECEMBER 31ST
*Philadelphia PA: The Trocadero 2pm Matinee
BOTH GROUPS, PLUS LOCAL SOR BANDS, HOLIDAY SPECTATCULAR!!!
************

In writing news, Opium Magazine just accepted another one of my stories, Embouchure, and I'm guessing it will appear some time late this month or early next month. As readers of this blog know, I love, love, love Opium so I'm pretty happy about that at least. Oh, and I'm doing a reading with an incredible writer, Randall Brown (I have his link on the right hand side here) at Community College on January 31, 2006, so that's pretty cool, too. Though as I remarked to another writer friend of mine, "I should just decline to read myself and offer to hold/turn Randall's pages for him, huh."

That's how good Randall is. Of course I'll be posting more details about that event in late January. Wow, I just realized, that's one day after Julie's birthday. She'll be twenty years old. Holy crap -- someone please tell me how that happened. Wasn't I just twenty? Didn't I just give birth to that little b**** err, I mean, princess?

Oh, here's some other news. I got an email from someone asking me if I was interested in returning to work part-time as a paralegal. The scary thing is, I'm considering it. I mean, if it's only two days a week, I wouldn't mind, especially as it means I could buy five Waterman 52s if I want. What to do, what to do. Oh God, I swore I'd never go back to law.

But it is what I know, damn it.

Sigh.

Ho ho ho.