Thursday, July 05, 2018

Buh-bye



And another member of the Trump Bible Study Group has bit the dust.

Buh-bye, Pruitt.  Gosh I hate you and everyone who looks like you.

And what do you know, Trump lied for a change.  I'm going to surround myself with the best cabinet ever, he said.

 He sure did fill the swamp but now it appears to be self-draining.

Who's next?

Monday, July 02, 2018

An open letter to the Food Network

Dear Food Network, and your ugly little step-sister, Cooking Channel:

I am trying, in this era of Trump, to combat his meanness and negativity with just the opposite.  I am trying to be kinder and softer, and for the most part, I have.  But there are two exceptions to my new rule, people who support Trump, and, the Food Network.

I know, I know.  With everything that's going on - babies in cages, the end of net neutrality, Pruitt, Zinke, and the hellacious timing of Justice Kennedy's retirement and the possible ramifications of a challenge to Roe v Wade and I dunno, the appointment of a new Supreme Court judge who thinks a President should also be King...Robin, why do you care about the Food Network?  Well, I'll tell you.  It's where I go to escape from reality, and for the past several years, it's worked out well for me.  BUT WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO THEIR PROGRAMMING?  WHY DO I NEED TO SEE GUY FIERI FOUR DAYS/NIGHTS A WEEK?


Listen, one night of Guy Fieri is too much.  The dude can't cook, he's loud, he yells at the camera, and his fans all look like they all wear MAGA hats.  The entire free world makes fun of Guy Fieri.  Look at him!  The dude loves Nickleback!


Hilarious, right?

I also don't want to see this witch for an hour every morning, every afternoon, and how many freaking times on the weekend?


Good lord, how can anyone stand to listen to that chalk on a blackboard voice?  And her recipes...oy vey!  I guess if you like Cool Whip and Velveeta, she's your woman.  But oh, how she lies like Trump with her "life on the ranch is such hard work" bullshit.  She's filthy rich, with a staff.  And oh yeah, there's some fishy business surrounding the Drummond family:  http://www.parispi.net/opinion/columns/article_abc1f17c-d021-11e5-91bc-03a17ef34dca.html

So Food Network (and Cooking Channel), what the hell?  Why are you putting these obnoxious people on your station, which is called FOOD NETWORK.  Neither one can teach a person anything about cooking and fine dining.  We don't want to watch them play act in their ridiculous mansions with the insane custom kitchens.

Which of course brings us right here:


No, no, no, no.  We don't want to look at this, nor do we want to watch her cook, since it's now public knowledge that she doesn't EAT.  She has a spit bucket for Chrisssakes.

Also on this list of unappetizing people who did not go to culinary school and simply shout or vamp for the camera:


Sunny and Katie Lee, how the hell are you famous?  Sunny, if it's not made with store bought ingredients, she's not interested, and Katie's claim to fame?  She married Billy Joel when he was like 90 and she was like 20. 

No

Just...no.

I can't even really comment on these two, other than to say their appearance as hosts on Wedding Cake Championship is probably the worst thing I've seen on television...EVER.  As was the show itself.



Speaking of baking shows, which genius chose this imbecile as a Judge on Best Baker of America?


Are you kidding me?  You looked at all possible candidates to judge internationally award winning bakers and you chose the country bumpkin home baker who won a clearly fixed contest?  That was so embarrassing. 

So where does that leave us?   Well, we still have Tuesday and Thursday nights, which are still dedicated to Chopped and Bobby Flay.  The Chopped kids are cool, but WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU ADDED THIS P.O.S.?


Why?  Why?  Martha Stewart is the world's biggest pain in the ass.  Nobody wants to be like her.  No one with a brain takes her seriously.  NO ONE WITH AN APPETITE WANTS TO EAT HER FOOD.  And what's really scary is, I looked up her age.  Holy hell, she's 76.  How much Botox has she had?????



So now Chopped is ruined, too.

I think even Bobby Flay knows where the Food Network is headed.  It's a dumpster fire.  He quit Iron Chef, and to my knowledge, his only gigs now are Beat Bobby Flay and once a year, Food Network Star.

Um, about Food Network Star this year.  There isn't one.  A star, I mean.  Omg, where did you find that group?  The only chef even remotely appealing is Chris, the guy from NY.  The rest of them aren't even pleasant to look at (your usual only qualification, with the exception of Jason Smith, who is just so freaking horrible and weird you had to pick him).  Ha ha, I didn't watch last night's show yet, so what do you bet Chris was sent home?  Nah...I think I'm right and the fix is already in and he's the winner.  We haven't had a white dude win since Jeff Mauro won in 2011.  Wait a sec, I'm wrong.  Didn't a pervert win shortly thereafter? Lenny something...he looked like a porn star...



Hahahaha - I just looked him up.  Fail, Food Network.  You really failed big time with Lenny in 2014.  https://www.mediaite.com/food/reports-link-new-food-network-star-lenny-mcnab-to-some-uh-sordid-online-history-1/

Oh, and let's talk about Beat Bobby Flay.  No, let's not.  Could that program be any more FIXED?  Bobby is like Zoro -  he leaves the sign of the Z in everything he cooks, only in his case, that would be Calabrian chiles.  So of course anyone judging that show knows what Bobby cooked, Jesus, he puts chiles in ice cream....

Let me see.  Have I forgotten anyone?  Hmm...let's take the high road and talk about what's good on the Food Network.

Alex, Amanda, Marcus, Marc, Scott, Chris andTed from the Chopped gang are all smart, funny, and went to freaking culinary school.  I love the Chopped kids...oh wait...I thought of another Chopped exception:


Ugh.  No, Maneet.  That is one shit eating grin.  You are mean and nasty, and not everything has to be spicy.  The other two judges will say positive, nurturing things, and you jump right in there with the knife.  Funny, I've never seen you win a cooking competition.

Other real chefs I respect on the network are Jeff Mauro, Geoffrey Zakarian, Damaris Phillips and Ina Garten.  And while not a chef, I love old guard Alton Brown.

These people are real chefs, not TV personalities like the goofballs mentioned above.

Finally, Food Network, your programming has been hideous.  Where are shows for actual cooks and bakers?  Vegetarians?  Asian food?  The entire U.S. isn't from the South and Midwest.    Instead, you give us:  CARNIVAL FREAKING EATS!  GINORMOUS FOODS!  MAN VS FIRE!  DALLAS CAKES!  VEGAS CAKES!   We also don't want to see Z List former celebrities Valerie Bertinelli, Tiffany Thiessen, Patti LaBelle, Rev Run COOK.  THEY CAN'T TEACH US ANYTHING AND THEY ARE LIKE WOODEN STATUES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!

Seriously, are you guys in programming all there?  Or do you think that just because Trump is President, the entire country is a TRAILER PARK?!

Aw, screw it.  I'm just gonna watch the Great British Baking Show on PBS and reruns of Top Chef on Netflix.

SCREW YOU, FOOD NETWORK.

(But not the guys from Chopped)

(Except Martha Stewart)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

I feel better now.

Back to music tomorrow.

xoxo


The week of July 2, 2018

Good morning and happy holiday week!   I opted to work, because my entire office decided otherwise.  So here I sit, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, blasting All Things Must Pass and getting caught up on stuff I put to the side while I worked on emergencies.  Life is good.

Actually, I'm lying.  While my life is good, it's absolutely horrifying for others in this country, i.e., immigrants, people with pre-existing medical conditions, AND POOR PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW IT YET AND HAVE HITCHED THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS TO AN IMBECILE.

Do people really believe a morbidly obese lunatic in a bad yellow wig is going to save them?



Okay, enough of that today.  Last week was so demoralizing...I need to be positive the week of July 2, 2018.

So here's something beyond positive - Natalie has a brand new video released this morning and Elton John played one of her new tunes on his radio show, so that's pretty damn cool.



Such spectacular things happening for my family right now...stay tuned.

Julie is hanging out in the U.S. until July 18 - she's in the studio finishing the new Echotest record (omg, wait until you guys hear it) and recording with her dad for a special campers-only release at Three of a Perfect Pair Camp the week of August 13.  It's so exciting to be around Julie while she works on both new records - I get to be privy to stuff like artwork, song selection and order, etc.

As we speak, Julie is headed to the studio to do the final mixing, but how lucky am I, I just saw on Instagram that before she left at 10:00 a.m., she made us spanakopita for dinner from scratch.   Here's the clip she posted:



Anyone who thinks being a vegetarian is boring needs to study my food pics :)    Follow me on Instagram at @robinslick.

In Eric news, he wrapped up the Dr. Dog tour though he's got a bunch of festivals to play between now and the end of October.  So he's going to be sitting in with Natalie on her tour this summer/fall, including the XPN Festival on July 28!  Here's Natalie's schedule for the rest of 2018...actually, this list is incomplete because it doesn't list the XPN Festival or some other dates in EU I saw on Natalie's website, but for whatever reason, her site is down right now as pertains to touring and I lifted this list from the general internet.  I'll come in and fix it when it's available - I have a feeling the tour portion of her site is down right now for that very reason...it's being updated.  But hey, in the meantime, Brooklyn, NY this Saturday night with Natalie and Eric looks pretty awesome, huh.

JUL7
Sat 7 PM2,122 guests
AUG10
Fri 8:30 PM182 guests
Charlottesville, VA
AUG11
Charlotte, NC
AUG12
Aug 12 - Aug 1347 guests
Charleston, SC
AUG17
Fri 8 PM CDT67 guests
University City, MO
AUG19
Sun 7 PM208 guests
Marietta, OH
SEP19
Wed 8 PM CDT237 guests
SEP21
Saint Paul, MN
SEP25
Tue 9 PM PDT52 guests
Vancouver, BC, Canada
SEP28
Fri 9 PM PDT82 guests
San Francisco, CA
OCT17
Wed 8 PM71 guests
West Asheville, West Asheville, NC
OCT19
Raleigh, NC
NOV3
Sat 7:30 PM UTC65 guests
Manchester, England, United Kingdom
NOV5
Mon 7:30 PM UTC17 guests
Bristol, England, United Kingdom
NOV6
Tue 7:30 PM UTC69 guests
Dublin, County Dublin, Ireland
NOV8
Thu 7:30 PM UTC121 guests
London, England, United Kingdom
NOV11
Sun 8 PM UTC+01143 guests
Hotel Cecil
NOV13
Tue 8 PM UTC+0126 guests
Hamburg, Germany
NOV14
Wed 7 PM UTC+0166 guests
Berlin, Germany
NOV15
Thu 7:30 PM UTC+0133 guests
Munich, Germany
NOV16
Fri 9:30 PM UTC+0147 guests
Düdingen, Canton of Fribourg, Switzerland
NOV18
Sun 8 PM UTC+0155 guests
Cologne, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany
NOV19
Mon 7:30 PM UTC+01137 guests
Brussels, Belgium
NOV20
Tue 7:30 PM UTC+01121 guests
Paris, Ile-de-France, France
NOV21
Wed 8 PM UTC+01263 guests
Utrecht, Netherlands
So there it is - the almost complete tour list :)   Looks like Natalie and Eric are going to have a brilliant time traveling and meeting fans all over the world!

What else...let's see.  Wednesday is July 4, also known to my neighbors as THE DAY OF DOOM.  Just kidding, but about one million people descend on my neighborhood that day to see the fireworks, and this year, Pit Bull is giving a free concert on the steps of the Art Museum, which is six blocks from my house so that is going to be particularly insane.  No, I'm not going, and no, I'm not moving the Lexus from its parking spot all day :)    But Julie, who is in town like I said, wants to go to the fireworks with her Daddy just like she did every year growing up, so those two are headed there Wednesday night.  As for me, just like I did every year when Julie and Eric were growing up, I will be home stuffing my face and comforting the dog, in this case Jake, who totally freaks out from the sound of fireworks.  It's like July 4 is most dogs' worst nightmare.

On the menu for July 4 at Casa Vegetarian slick will be baked beans, cole slaw,  corn bread, salad, etc.  Yeah, we eat all sides.  Got a problem with that?  Ha!  Not me.  Appetizers and desserts are my favorite part of the menu.

In other news, Julie leaves for Spain July 18 and will be back in Philadelphia on August 8.  August 13-17 is rock and roll camp in Woodstock, NY, and I think her plans are open-ended so far - she usually does a house show in Richmond, VA over Labor Day weekend so we're waiting to hear about that, but I do know if she does do the show, this time Gary will be accompanying her on guitar and vocals, performing material from their new record.  Whoa, it feels wonderful to say that!  So no one will be home for my birthday on August 17 but me, however, I already have my festivities planned.  I'm taking the day off from work and ordering all three meals from Uber Eats.  Hahahahahaha, I know how to live.  I'm thinking breakfast from Cafe y Chocolate, vegetable pad thai and spring rolls from Circles for lunch and Pizza Melanzana from Vetri for dinner.





Told you I know how to live!

Back to music...

Echotest's new record will be out this fall.  To say it's epic is putting it mildly.  It's more Pink Floyd than Pink Floyd.  Julie doesn't know it, but when she's not around, I listen to the download while I work on my secret new book(s).  :)  It's really deep, you get totally lost in it as you listen.

Ooh, as I type this post, this just in:


New music from Rayland Baxter.  Eric is on drums and Cage the Elephant's Nick Bockrath is on guitar.  Here's their last song, which I absolutely adore, called Casanova.


  I think I may have posted this before, along with the story, but in case I didn't, here it is again.  Gary and I were sitting around listening to the radio, and Casanova came on.  I said to Gary, "Who is this?  It's the second time I've heard it, and I really like it."  Gary didn't know, but he liked it, too.  Both of us thought, but didn't say out loud, that one of the reasons we liked it so much was because it had a Kinks vibe and a Ringo Starr drum vibe, reminding us of Eric.  So imagine our reaction when the DJ announced it was Rayland Baxter with Eric on the drums.  We were both, AW, I SHOULD HAVE SAID IT REMINDS ME OF ERIC, but trust me, I believe Gary thought that because I know I did, and we just didn't say it out loud.  Too cool that everytime we listen to WXPN these days, we hear someone from the family, whether it's Natalie, or Eric with Dr. Dog, Eric with Rayland Baxter, or, Eric with Deva Majal, which I am pretty sure I also posted but I'll post again because it's so freaking brilliant:


Yeah, I know, I say it all the time, but MUSIC IS EVERYTHING.

SO IS FOOD.

SO ARE ERIC, JULIE, NATALIE, GARY AND JAKE.

I guess 2018 is all about priorities, huh.  And taking care of ourselves and staying strong in the face of evil.

We can do this.

Onward and upward, people!

xo