Saturday, December 24, 2005

Garry Crimble To You


Our genius dog Monty figuring out that some of those presents are for him...

So. Anyone know where the title of this post is taken from?

Give up?

I take you back to 1963 -- The Beatles Christmas Record:

HO!
GOOD KING WENCELAS LOOKED OUT
ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN, HO!
AS THE SLOW RAY ROUND ABOUT
DEEP AND CRISP AND CRISPY.
BRIGHTLY SHOW THE BOOT LAST NIGHT
ON THE MOSSTY CRUEL.
HENRY HALL AND DAVID LLOYD,
BETTY GRABLE TOO-OO-OO.

HELLO, THIS IS JOHN, SPEAKING WITH HIS VOICE. (huh!)
WE'RE ALL VERY HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THIS ON THIS LITTLE BIT OF PLASTIC.
THIS RECORD REACHES YOU AT THE END OF A REALLY GEAR YEAR FOR US AND IT'S ALL DUE TO YOU.
WHEN WE MADE OUR FIRST RECORD ON PARLOPHONE TOWARDS THE END OF 1962, WE HOPED
EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE WHAT HAD ALREADY BEEN OUR TYPE OF MUSIC FOR SEVERAL YEARS
ALREADY. BUT WE HAD NO IDEA OF ALL THE GEAR THINGS IN STORE FOR US.
IT ALL HAPPENED REALLY WHEN 'PLEASE PLEASE ME' BECAME A NUMBER ONE HIT AND AFTER THAT,
WELL COR' THE BLIMEYS, HEAVE THE MO'.
OUR BIGGEST THRILL OF THE YEAR, WELL, I SUPPOSE IT MUST HAVE BEEN TOPPING THE BILL AT THE
LONDON PALLADIUM AND THEN, ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, BEING INVITED TO TAKE PART IN
THE ROYAL VARIETY SHOW.
THIS TIME LAST YEAR WE WERE ALL DEAD CHUFFED BECAUSE 'LOVE ME DO' GOT INTO THE TOP
TWENTY AND WE CAN'T BELIEVE REALLY THAT SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN BETWEEN
ALREADY.
JUST BEFORE I PASS YOU OVER TO PAUL, (arf! arf! arf! arf!) I?D LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THE
BEATLE PEOPLE WHO HAVE WRITTEN TO ME DURING THE YEAR AND EVERYBODY WHO SENT GIFTS
AND CARDS FOR MY BIRTHDAY, WHICH I'M TRYING TO FORGET, IN OCTOBER. (huh!)
I?D LIKE TO REPLY PERSONALLY TO EVERYBODY BUT I JUST HAVEN'T ENOUGH PENS.
IN THE MEANTIME:

GARRY CRIMBLE TO YOU,
GARRY MIMBLE TO YOU.
GETTY BABLE, DEAR CHRISTMAS,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME TOO.

THIS IS PAUL HERE.
EVERYTHING THAT JOHN SAID GOES FOR ME TOO, SPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT BIRTHDAY CARDS AND
PARCELS, CAUSE ALL OUR HOMES AND OFFICES GOT STACKS OF MAIL LAST JUNE, OW! HA-HA!
WHEN IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.
ANYWAY, WE'RE ALL DEAD PLEASED BY THE WAY YOU TREATED US IN 1963 AND WE TRY TO DO
EVERYTHING WE CAN TO PLEASE YOU WITH THE TYPE OF SONGS WE'LL WRITE AND RECORD NEXT
YEAR.
OH YEAH, SOMEBODY ASKED US IF WE STILL LIKE JELLY BABIES? WELL, WE USED TO LIKE THEM, IN
FACT WE LOVED THEM AND SAID SO IN ONE OF THE PAPERS, YOU SEE. EVER SINCE THEN WE'VE BEEN
GETTING THEM IN BOXES, PACKETS AND CRATES. ANYWAY, WE'VE GONE RIGHT OFF JELLY BABIES,
YOU SEE, BUT WE STILL LIKE PEPPERMINT CREAMS, CHOCOLATE DROPS AND DOLLY MIXTURES AND
ALL THAT SORT OF THINGS. (Yes! Yes! Oh yes!)

WELL, LOTS OF PEOPLE ASKED US WHAT WE ENJOY BEST, YOU SEE, CONCERTS AND TELEVISION OR
RECORDING? WE LIKE DOING STAGE SHOWS 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT TO HEAR AN AUDIENCE
ENJOYING THEMSELVES. BUT THE THING WE LIKE BEST, I THINK SO ANYWAY, IS GOING INTO THE
RECORDING STUDIO (Yes, we enjoy that very kindly) TO MAKE NEW RECORDS, WHICH IS WHAT WE'VE
BEEN DOING ALL DAY BEFORE WE STARTED ON THIS SPECIAL MESSAGE.
WELL, WHAT WE LIKE TO HEAR MOST IS ONE OF OUR SONGS, YOU KNOW, TAKING SHAPE IN A
RECORDING STUDIO, AH, ONE OF THE ONES JOHN AND I HAVE WRITTEN AND THEN LISTENING TO THE
TAPES AFTERWARDS TO HEAR HOW IT ALL WORKED OUT, YOU SEE.
WELL, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME TO STOP, (Stop! Stop!) AND RINGO,
(Stop! Stop! Shouting those animals!) SO...I'LL FINISH OFF NOW WITH IT WISHING EVERYONE HAPPY
CRIMBLE AND A MERRY NEW YEAR AND ESPECIALLY ALL THE ONES WHO PAID THE SUBSCRIPTION.

JA, DAS WIRD UNS DANKE SCHON
UND DENN GRUSS VON EVEN.
JA, DENN GRUSS VON EVEN SCHON
JA, DAS WIRD WUNDERSCHON, BOY,
DANKE SCHON.

JA, RINGO!

HELLO, RINGO HERE,
AS YOU KNOW I WAS THE LAST MEMBER TO JOIN THE BEATLES. I STARTED TO PLAY DRUMS IN THE
GROUP 1962, HA-HA-HA! HAVE BEEN IN A COUPLE OF OTHER GROUPS...
(Oh, just wish the people a merry, happy, go on, for Christmas, Christmas)
MERRY, HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND FOLKS, HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND MAY, MAY EVERYTHING YOU WISH
BE GRANTED.
(Sing, sing us Wenceslas, King Wenceslas)
KING WENCESLAS:

WELL, GOOD KING WENCESLAS LOOKED OUT (oh ho!)
ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN. (hey!)
WHEN THE SNOW WAS ON THE GROUND, (yeah!)
DEEP AND CRISP AND EVEN. (oh yeah!)

HOORAY!!

THANK YOU, RINGO! THANK YOU, RINGO! WE'LL PHONE YOU! (ha ha ha!)
I'M GEORGE HARRISON,
NOBODY ELSE SAID ANYTHING YET ABOUT OUR FAN CLUB SECRETARIES, ANN COLLINGHAM AND
BETTINA ROSE, NOT TO MENTION FREDA KELLY IN LIVERPOOL. (Good old Freda!!) SO ON BEHALF OF
US ALL, I?D JUST LIKE TO SAY A GREAT, BIG THANK YOU TO ANN, BETTINA AND FREDA FOR ALL THE
HARD WORK THEY'VE DONE AND WE JUST HOPE YOU CAN GO ON PLEASING US FOR A LONG TIME,
CAUSE IT'S GONNA CAUSE IT TO YOUR REACTION ARE TO OUR RECORDS THAT REALLY MATTERS,
AND I JUST LIKE TO SAY:

BRIGHTLY WAS THE SCHON AT NIGHT,
THOUGH THE WINTER CRUEL.
WHEN A PORK PIE CAME INSIDE
GATHERING WINTER CRUEL.

RUDOLPH, THE RED NOSED REINDEER (HO!)
HAD A VERY SHINY NOSE, (A SHINY NOSE!)
WHEN EV?RYBODY PICKED IT...

HA, HA, HA, HA,....

OH YEAH! OH!

RUDOLPH, THE RED NOSED RINGO, (RUDOLPH!)
HAD A VERY SHINY NOSE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!
******

Damn it. John was so brilliant...

And oh my God, I just realized that it's twice this week that the word "crispy" has appeared prominently in this blog. What are the odds? Ha!

Anyway, Merry Christmas, Festivus, Hanukkah, Kwanza...whatever. I'm done wrapping presents and now I must drink vast quantities of alcohol. Because you know, it's the law.

xo

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