Sunday, September 20, 2020

Day 190


Day 190, self quarantine:

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Holy cow, I’m on automatic when I type day numbers but I just realized we’re ten days away from Day 200.

Actually, if I wasn’t a senior, my quarantine would be over tomorrow, at least work wise, as the staff was ordered back this week.

We know where I stand on that so...

Nope, I’m still in quarantine with zero plans to do anything else.

I think it’s a huge mistake.  This is the calm before the storm of the next wave.

But I am not an expert, what the hell do I know, maybe I’m 100% wrong.

I’m just not willing to take that chance with my life or Gary’s.

A day at a time, that’s how we live here at Casa Slick and that’s all I’m saying.

For now.

Boy, if you ever want to know how much you’ve changed during six months of isolation, just keep a quarantine journal.

I had no idea I was that obsessed with facial hair and my ability to get my lip and eyebrows waxed.

I’m seriously cringing at my former value system.

I actually had to stop reading the early days of this journal, I sound like I’m hysterical, and not the good kind.  

I also babbled extensively about hating working from home.

I really can’t believe how much I’ve changed in six months.

Have you noticed changes in the way you view things now?

Here’s an example, maybe not the best one, but I’m struggling putting it into words. 

It’s like, I’m noticing that if I see something like an episode of SNL from last year where everyone is crowding the stage and kissing and hugging at the end, I get a whole range of emotions.  

It’s a mix of sadness and horror.

I literally feel horror at the sight of people close together without masks, even on television.

And that feeling is immediately replaced by sadness that I’m now programmed that way.

Anyone else feeling stuff like that?

“You think too much, Rob,” Gary told me when I ran it by him yesterday.

I know, Gary, I know.

It’s usually both a curse and a blessing but as we’ve already established, in the era of Donald, it’s definitely a curse.

There’s been a cool flip-side here about some things, though.

I blurt out everything that’s bothering me now. I keep nothing inside.

Yesterday, I got Gary to agree to a new living room rug, even though ours isn’t old or damaged, which is Gary’s usual criteria for replacing anything.

Haha, the red area rug I bought online without telling him three years ago was a tragic mistake and too big and hotel lobby looking for our house but once a very angry-at-me Gary unrolled it, moved all our heavy furniture, and laid it in place, much to my horror when I saw the results, I knew I was stuck with it.

And now being home the last six months and staring at it day after day and seeing it in pictures I post of my house has made me miserable and uh oh, I started thinking too much again.

I know that when you’re young, it’s all about acquiring things.

Welp, at least it used to be.

And when you’re a senior, it’s just the opposite.

It’s all about loss.

Family, friends, hair, teeth and other body parts/organs, etc.

And you start shedding possessions, not acquiring more, which is why we now have the Aldi rule at Casa Slick.

But as I look around my house and think of all the improvements we planned to make but never did, I can’t help but now think “and we never will.”

It’s a weird feeling and I know I shouldn’t be thinking it but I can’t help it.

So getting back to my stupid carpet, we’re sitting there watching television yesterday and Gary has no idea I’m having these thoughts when all of a sudden I said, “God, I hate this red carpet.”

But instead of looking at me like I’m nuts, Gary replied, “Yeah, I hate it, too.  What were you thinking?”

“Can we get a new one?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.  

In the old days pre-quarantine, getting Gary to agree to the new purchase and work involved surrounding said purchase would require me to concoct and work on a Lucy/Ricky Ricardo plan for days.

“Sure,” said Gary.  “But please let me measure first and show me the rug before you buy it this time since I live here, too,” he laughed.

Okay, who are you and what have you done with Gary?

I asked no more questions.  I knew the exact rug I wanted.  I’d been stalking it on line for months.  The website even had a feature where you take a picture of your room and you can see how the carpet will look.

I handed my phone to Gary.

He said he loved it without asking the price, and got out his tape measure.

“Do not order anything larger than 8 x 10,” he said.

That’s it?  No argument?  You don’t want to know what this is going to cost you?

Holy hell, have I spent the last fifty years plotting and planning for nothing?

You mean I could have just asked all these years?

People, even as I type this, I’m still digesting it.

I couldn’t have made that grievous an error in judgment.

I’m gonna ask the kids.

I think quarantine and retirement have changed Gary in a huge way, too, and I am so here for that.

The new rugs will be here Friday.

Oh, did I say rug(s)?

While I was ordering, I bought a new runner for the foyer.

Haha, I’ll tell Gary later today.

What can I tell you, old habits die hard.

But I can tell you this. My gratitude list was easy today.

Happy Sunday!