Saturday, September 19, 2020

Day 189


Day 189, self quarantine:

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Yesterday, Gary began cooking early in the morning for our Rosh Hashanah feast and the house smelled like Thanksgiving all day.  

I was in a festive mood.

And then we sat down to dinner of a magical savory vegetable bread pudding with orange rosemary gravy, roasted baby sweet potatoes, fresh steamed corn, and cucumber tomato salad.

And then after dinner, I playfully tweeted, “Roses are red, violets are blue, I hope he dies tonight, I know you do, too.”

And then minutes later, CNN tweeted, “Breaking news. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died due to complications of metastatic pancreas cancer, the court says. She was 87.”

And then I almost collapsed over the obvious ramifications and the spectacular meal I just ate rose in my throat like I swallowed a bucket of sticks and ashes.

In shock, I tweeted in response, “Wrong person, God.  I guess Satan really is running things now.”

I meant what I said.

What the hell.

I don’t believe in organized religion.  But I like the holidays for the food and family and certain symbolism.

Rosh Hashanah is a time for reflection.  I’m down with that.

Seriously, the only thing that keeps me from being a complete atheist is I have no explanation for how we’re here.  I am not arrogant enough to suggest it’s simply science.

But how can there be a loving God when Justice Ginsburg is gone and he’s still here?

I don’t understand.

I don’t even understand how Tom Petty can be gone and he’s still here.

There’s only one explanation.

Satan really is in charge and he’s wearing many disguises.

Last night he was a senator from Kentucky.

Gary refuses to believe this nomination will happen.

“Don’t worry,” he said “You heard the news.  Justice Ginsburg told her granddaughter on her deathbed a few days ago, ‘My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed.’  They’ll respect her last wishes.”

Yeah, right.  I didn’t want to get into an argument on Rosh Hashanah but Gary still hasn’t grasped that our current government isn’t just horrible, it’s a transatlantic mob made up of international criminals and oligarchs.

McConnell is bringing Trump’s nomination to the Senate floor next week.

He didn’t have the time to pass a bill on his desk since May bringing economic relief to thirty million unemployed Americans but this he can do next week.

These people are committing crimes in broad daylight now.

I understand this is out of my control.  I know the next six weeks leading to the election are going to be even worse.

There’s major criminal financial news coming next week, I’m on Buzzfeed’s mailing list and they’re hinting at something catastrophic.

There’s Donald’s health.  He sounds like he’s mainlining heroin these days.

I dunno what’s gonna happen, I have no fucking clue.

I texted with my kids and we all want to leave this country.  We wish we could pack and leave tonight.

But we can’t.

So we’ll gather our strength and carry on.

What else can we do?

Wow, what a week.  We’re all going to have to wear our big girl/ boy pants on from now on and stay strong.

We’re in for some real insanity, people.  We ain’t seen nothing yet.

Oy.

Time for some daily gratitude.

(1) The early morning, when the house is still and I can be alone with my thoughts, writing.

(2) Fresh brewed coffee, especially that first sip.

(3) Birds.  It’s only taken me six decades to notice them but better late than never, huh.

(4) Jake.  Dogs are everything.

(5) Laughing with Gary.  Honestly, he makes me giggle like a kid every day.

I’m not sure what’s going on with us today, I’m still kind of dazed, but we have gorgeous sixties fall weather today so we better get some fresh air and step away from the news.

I highly recommend we all do it.

Happy Saturday.