Thursday, April 14, 2005

I was afraid of this...

From today's Times Dispatch:

"Coming to VH1 this summer is a six-episode reality show, "Rock School," inspired by the Jack Black movie, "School of Rock". The soundtrack lands May 31 and features the students from the show performing with Billy Idol, Alice Cooper and Ann Wilson of Heart"

D'oh. The six episode reality show is a VH1 series for fuckwits starring Gene Simmons. Rock School the documentary -- yes, yes, the original school ripped off by the Jack Black movie School of Rock -- is premiering in June and the soundtrack for THAT is what will be released at the end of May.


So this has not been the best week for me. Over the weekend, my water bed exploded and it was finally the end of an era. I've slept on one since my early twenties and hate traditional mattresses. I'm always miserable in hotels. Okay, not that miserable, but still.

Anyway, this is like the third time in ten years this has happened, even though the mattresses supposedly have 25 year warranties. This particular mattress wasn't even three years old, and when I went to change the sheets, I stuck my hand in three inches of water and wanted to cry. It is the worst fucking mess you can imagine...thousands of gallons of water streaming and there's not a thing I could do about it other than run back and forth to the bathroom with buckets. But going back to my original statement about the warranties, I started thinking that it's not the bed; it's the water. There must be so much acid many chemicals in Philadelphia water...that it causes the waterbed mattress to simply rot away. Cos' that's what happened to me. My hand literally went through the rubber.

Soo...after spending the entire day cleaning and crying, I decided that was it. I had to buy a regular mattress and at least pretend to be a normal woman.

Ahem. I had no idea what that entailed.

Mattress salespeople are worse than used car salesmen and hmm..I'd even put them up there with insurance guys. It was a nightmare, especially for me, because I hate to shop unless it's for something like a cool piece of artwork.

Okay, I won't bore anyone with the details, but yeah, yeah, I ended up buying one; somehow shlepped it up the steps which was another adventure from hell (it's queen sized and I have really narrow stairs)and much to my shock, had the best night sleep I've had in years. I bought what's called a pillow top...oh my god, I never want to leave it in the morning.

So that was the weekend.

Then some other shit happened at work; I won't bore anyone with that, just the usual stuff where I sit in my chair and contemplate jumping out a window or at least flashing my tits at the stockbrokers in the office opposite us because they look so fucking uptight and Republican...but walking home tonight, well, that was the best. I was behind an elderly woman with a cane, and she was kind of weaving back and forth so I couldn't pass her. We were approaching the traffic light at the intersection of 19th and the Parkway and I thought Oh great, I'll cross over to the other side and get the fuck away from her. But before I could do that, for some ungodly reason, she raised her cane up and I was right behind her and she smacked me right in the face. It was a total accident, she didn't even know I was there...I think she either thought a car was going to hit her or something shocked her and she raised her arm and well, there was my face.

I was so stunned...for a minute I thought I was going to fall down because she whacked me really hard. Meanwhile, a crowd suddenly appears out of nowhere, and I was totally mortified and yep, for the second time this week, cried.

But I'm was just embarrassing and hurt for a few minutes and the lady kept apologizing and asking me if I was okay and she was really old and I felt terrible and oh my god, I think I'm gonna go have a beer now and try and forget about it.

And with the beer, I think I'm gonna finally watch those Rock School DVDs Dave Neidorf was awesome enough to send me. Yo, he sent me the spring preview concert filmed by MTV at the TLA last year. I can't wait. So beer and a DVD or two it is.

After which I will collapse happily in my new bed.